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TheShadow777 t1_isvcikm wrote

I blankly stared at the scrawling along my computer. Half of the Earth had ended up destroyed in the Convergence, yet the Mana pools in the National Parks kept the entire planet alive...Somehow; that wasn't something that I entirely understood, and neither was it something that I wanted to. The only thing I needed to understand now, was the fact that, from one second to the next, I had become a God, of sorts.

'The Divinity of Atheism', and doesn't that just sound like the set up to a bad joke? But, what it essentially meant, was that my faith was unnecessarily complicated. Considering the fact that, absolutely everything, down to the most complex of things within the universe, need some sort of explanation, I am now the very abstract and unreasonable concept of Ultra Rationalism. Meaning that even my power, the absolute godhood of which I have achieved, is something that any who follow me might be capable of achieving with the right research (and isn't that horrifying?).

More than that, my very existence kinda threw everything into a loop. The other deities, people of normal flavor the same as myself, were immediately put into this weird stasis loop of impossibility and steady existence. Essentially, I had to stop the entire world from imploding, immediately after I started existing as I am now. In the middle of all of that, I also have to complete my work at the office; apparently you have to keep working for the company for two weeks before your allowed to go off and do...Godfuckery. Hooray for Capitalism!

After I'd created a very complex Wheel, upon which each God is stationed, and delved into the complex mathematics of the universe (none of which I should know, but do now; God Benefits, I guess), I got to get confronted by my own Devil. The Devil, of my religion...Is a pretty chill dude, basically a psychonaut, spouts a bunch of shit about complex geometry and the everlasting impossibility of the universe, but isn't that bad of a dude.

When the headache finally faded, my boss called me in for a meeting, and said he expected me to 'be on my best behavior' and 'just because I was a god now, it didn't mean I got to shirk my duties'. If I were to bet, he'd become the Deity of Corporate Greed, if there wasn't already an entire pantheon of those.

It was only when I got home, that I realized why being a deity would be particularly difficult. Imagine having to deal with people praying to science. It didn't make any sense, but I had a prayer list to answer; which meant I might have to fix the half of the world that's broken, because nobody else wants to do it.

My Advice? If you ever become a God, meet me in a back alley and I'll undo it for you. The stress just isn't worth it. As the god of Atheism, I'm practically the only one that can manage that (Unless you go to Hades, but his process is overly complicated, and takes five hundred years).

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