602fay t1_iu7c3t2 wrote
Reply to comment by Mooses_little_sister in [WP] "I WILL NOT LISTEN TO THIS ANY LONGER" "But Your Majesty, the prophe-" "You want me to send a GODDAMN TEENAGER TO FIGHT WHEN WE HAVE TRAINED SOLDIERS" by JustLostInInternet
I like it, but you dampen the impact of a big moment, of course this is a very small amount of the writing but I wouldn’t put a dozen words between “Not like what happened to—“ and her continuing “Not like what happened to me”
Mooses_little_sister t1_iu7fnoj wrote
Thank you for reading! It is a choice to put in the separation, and perhaps I may make a different choice next time. But I'm glad you liked it overall :)
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