"Really, dad? You gotta do this now?"

Max's dad shrugged, causing the cabinet he was lifting in one hand to briefly scrape the ceiling. "What? I couldn't find my watch. Any hero worth their salt keeps their Situation Alert Messenger on them at all times."

Max rolled her eyes and replied, "Right, and I'm sure you totally didn't drop it under the trophy cabinet on purpose to intimidate my girlfriend when she came over for dinner."

Max's dad laughed as he set the cabinet back down and took his seat directly across from me. I coughed nervously and said to him, "That was pretty impressive there, Mr. Hubert. Uh, sorry, I meant Vanguard Red. What was that, a couple thousand pounds?"

"Correctimundo! About six thousand to be precise. I had it rigged up with some spatial distortion tech, makes it very heavy. You know, I think my favorite souvenir in there is the head of that one robot when I was just starting out. Must've knocked that sucker's head clean into the next county over! Bam!" Max's dad punctuated the impact with a quick punch in the air.

Max's mom frowned and remarked, "Oh Steven, will you cut it out? You're making Courtney feel uncomfortable." She then turned to me with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry about him, he gets overprotective."

I waved my hand dismissively. "Ah, don't worry about it, Ms. Oleander. I'd be the exact same way when it comes to someone as lovely as Max. You know, if they existed." Max giggled and kissed me on the cheek, leaving a barbecue sauce lip print behind.

Max's mom cooed over the two of us, then gently elbowed Steven in the ribcage. Steven sighed and remarked, "Alright, alright, I'll stop. Right after I tell you about the time I battled the White King on the--"

BEEPBEEPBEEP! BEEPBEEPBEEP!

Max glanced down at her own S.A.M. and said, "Oh crap, Warmouse and Golden Ox just broke out of jail! I left my uniform in the car, I'll be right back!" Max then got out of her chair as a light blue portal appeared on the ground and she gently hopped into it.

Steven then turned to me and continued, "Anyway, the White King on the--"

"Actually Mr. Hubert, I don't mean to interrupt, but could I have the last of the milk?" Steven frowned but handed me the mostly empty carton. I spun the cap off and started chugging the whole thing.

I felt the effects rush through my body almost instantly. Muscle fibers tensed up and got larger as a newfound weight settled into my bones. A tingling sensation filled my ears as they began to change shape. And lastly, I felt pushing from beneath my skin as my horns and tail grew in. By the time the carton was empty, I had an extra foot in height, the physique of an Olympian, and a trio of assorted bovine features.

Steven's eyes were wider than a sumo wrestler's waistband. "Courtney, you--you're the--"

"Milkmaid? Yes, Mr. Hubert. Yes I am."

Steven looked over at his wife, who he now saw was smirking, and said, "You knew about this?!"

Ms. Oleander shrugged. "We wanted to surprise you."

A new portal opened up on the ceiling, depositing Max, now in her Express uniform, onto the floor. She quickly ran over to kiss both of her parents on the cheek and say, "Back in a bit, guys! Don't start dessert without us!" With that, she grabbed my hand and teleported the both of us away. Though not before I said to Steven, "And FYI, I haven't benched anything as low as six thousand pounds since I was thirteen."