'Next'
'Oh, that, that's me... thank you for seeing me.'
'Yeah, yeah', I sighed. 'Name?'
'God'
'Yeeaah. Ok... see him?' point to Anubis. 'He's a god. Her?' Point to a cat in a station master's uniform. 'A god. Them?' Point to a fox. 'God. And that funky one that looks like an old man, then a young one, with holes in his hands and feet, then turns into a spirit? Yeah. You guessed it.' I rubbed my eyes and sighed in frustration. I never should have taken this job
'Let's try this again. Name?'
'B-Baal'
'Okay, Baal. Just what do you...' I was interrupted by him opening up an attache case and producing a picture.
'Here's a picture of me in statue form when I was popular!'
Looking, you are horrified to see a tall gangly thin being with a phallus over half it's body length at full attention.
'I was...'
'Let me guess, a god of fertility.'
'YES! Have you heard of me, perhaps?'
'No. Lucky guess.'
'Wow, you ARE good!'
Aw, human damn it, this son of a bitch is getting on my nerves already.
'I... I still have what it takes, so to speak. Do you want to...' He gets up and unbuttons his
trousers.
'NO!... er, no, thank you. Have you tried the Adult film industry?' I mutter under my breath.
'Yeeaah, I, I did... Now kinda on the run... for murder... impaling.'
'Of course.' Son of a... why do they give me the impossible cases!? 'Look, I'm very busy with a large case load today, so let's just cut to the chase, shall we?' I look at Baal and see him nodding enthusiastically. 'Good. Do you have any followers?'

'Erm, one, but he's very elderly and in Hospice. So I was referred here by Inanna.'

'Okay, then. First, I think we need a little PR work. I mean, you can't just go around waving
your... ahem, member around. The times have changed in the last few centuries.'

'Oh, oh dear me,' Baal wrung his hands and looked at his feet. 'That seems to be one of the things I'm very good at...'
'Of course it is... why wouldn't it. There's no place anywhere where you can... wait a minute...' You narrow your eyes and lean forward over your desk at him. 'Have you heard of the Kanamara Matsuri?'
'The what? I'm sorry sir, I don't quite follow.'

'How would you feel about taking a trip to Japan?'