Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

Reminders:

>* No AI-generated reponses 🤖 >* Stories 100 words+. Poems 30+ but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* [RF] and [SP] for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

🆕 New Here? ✏ Writing Help? 📢 News 💬 Discord

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

I have never written any kind of script before and this is definitely not how you do it but here it goes.

HOGWARTS EXTERIOR - DAY

We see the hogwarts courtyard as students go about their business. Pan up to see Ron Swanson on a balcony overlooking the courtyard.

>Ron Swanson (Voice Over)
>
>I don't really know where I am or how I got here. I'm not really sure what this place is other than it's a school, and I appear to be in charge.

CUT TO SUBURBAN HOME INTERIOR - NIGHT

Ron Swanson is asleep on a chair in his living room.

>Ron Swanson (Voice Over)
>
>All I remember was drinking what a lesser man might call an obscene amount of alcohol, but what I would call moderation. I then fell asleep watching a re-run of This Old House.

Ron Swanson Vanishes from the room in a flash of light.

CUT TO HOGWARTS OFFICE - DAY

We see Ron Swanson in a close up shot sitting in the headmaster's chair speaking directly to the camera.

>Ron Swanson
>
>Next thing I knew I was in this office. All I can say for sure is that I like it here.

Ron Smiles

>Cont.
>
>I mean these people really know how to run a school. We're talking strict discipline. We had one kid try to sneak out at night to go to some restricted section of the library. I told him as punishment that he had to go deep into what these people call the "Dark Forest". I was sure some of the other faculty would be pissed.

CUT TO EDGE OF FOREST - NIGHT

We see a lone student walk into the forest holding a lantern.

>Ron Swanson (Voice Over)
>
>Turns out that was the normal punishment for sneaking out at night.

RETURN TO OFFICE

Ron swanson laughs giddily.

CUT TO POTIONS CLASSROOM

In a classroom full of students sitting at cauldrons. Professor Snape can be seen holding a student by the hair and yelling in their ear while the rest of the students stare at a large hole in the floor where a desk used to be.

The camera zooms into the background to see Ron Swanson holding a steaming coffee mug standing in the doorway looking approvingly at professor snape.

CUT TO CONFERENCE ROOM

The various teachers and faculty of hogwarts sit around a large table with Ron Swanson at the head.

>Ron Swanson
>
>From what I've learned this school is funded by your government. Is that correct?

​

>Professor Flitwick
>
>That's correct.

​

>Ron
>
>Excellent, we're going to need to cut our spending as much as possible. We'll start with the kitchen. I mean do we really need all these oversized bi-pedal naked mole rats making the food? Surely the kids can figure it out on their own.

​

>Professor McGonagall (Shocked)
>
>Those are house elfs Mr. Swanson. We don't pay them.

​

>Ron (Happily)
>
>Really? Excellent. Next let's move on to living spaces. We don't need these four separate living spaces. I say we give the kids some blankets and have them sleep in the dining hall. That way we can rent out the empty rooms to people who will pay for them. Capitalism at it's finest.

​

All except Ron look at each other concerned.

​

>Ron (Serious)
>
>Now how much are you charging for medical services.

​

CUT TO HOGWARTS OFFICE - DAY

We see ron sitting in the headmaster's chair looking directly at the camera.

>Ron
>
>It's going pretty well so far.

“On the night I punched Lord Voldemort in the face, I warned him several times to back off, and instead he attacked me, twice. I don’t even know why you have lords, they’re weak and cowardly relics of a feeble nation. When I punched him, he dropped so quickly I thought he was diving towards the ground. It felt good punching a man with no nose, like punching a pillow, but it can still feel shame. I regret nothing, the end.”

Very well done. I can picture Ron saying every word of this. And using the voiceover was an excellent idea.

This is amazing! "'turns out that was the normal punishment for sneaking out at night' ron laughs giddily" got me.

This prompt alone had me cracking up.

I'm working on completely replacing Dumbledore with Ron in all of the first novel. The more I think about it the more funny it gets lol.

Fan fiction I would read