“On the night I punched Lord Voldemort in the face, I warned him several times to back off, and instead he attacked me, twice. I don’t even know why you have lords, they’re weak and cowardly relics of a feeble nation. When I punched him, he dropped so quickly I thought he was diving towards the ground. It felt good punching a man with no nose, like punching a pillow, but it can still feel shame. I regret nothing, the end.”