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1

Randomgold42 t1_je4wz7s wrote

Hey Reddit! So, yeah, just like the title says. If you're wondering, it's orbiting Earth right now, at about the height of the ISS. It's pretty badass, if I do say so myself. But you fine people don't need to take my word for it! I hacked the ISS tracker site and turned it into the Death Laser tracking site!

Oh yeah, I guess you're going to need some proof that my baby can do what I say, right? M'kay, how about this? Ten minutes after this post goes live, I'll blow something up! I'll even let you choose. Let's say the moon, Mars, or, let's go with Venus. The poll will go live at about the same time this post does, so vote away!

Edit 1: The people have spoken! And man, you guys really hate Venus. I mean, wow! That was really lop sided. Okay, folks, keep your eyes on the sky, because this is going to be bright.

Edit 2: Man, you guys lost all your creativity. I mean, really, let's get some more interesting questions! Okay, I guess I'll answer the most common questions here.

Q1: Why am I doing this? Mostly because I can and the Earth sucks. Or, well, I guess people suck. But all the people live on Earth, so yeah. Bye bye Earth. Bye bye humanity.

Q2: Is there any way to stop my Death Laser? Short answer? No. I've got, like, a dozen ways to make sure it goes off, even if something bad happens to me. And if you think taking out the laser is possible, then nope. No country on Earth can launch something capable of destroying it so quickly.

But what do you say we make things more interesting? For every 100 upvotes this post gets, I'll delay the laser by 1 minute! And awards will give you an extra 5 minutes! I'll even make it retroactive, so all the stuff I already got counts. Who knows, maybe if enough people keep this going, someone will be able to nuke the Death Laser out of the sky or something!

Q3: How did I build a giant orbital Death Laser without anyone noticing? Uh, because I'm awesome, that's why. I'll admit it wasn't easy, and it took a lot of time, but it was so worth it. But if you really want some kind of specifics, I basically used robots. I built each part from scratch, built a bunch of robots to assemble it in space, hooked everything up to a lot of small rockets, and launched them all one by one. It took a few years, but I did it.

Q4: If I can build a giant orbital Death Laser, then couldn't I do something beneficial to humanity instead? Yes. Yes I could. But see question 1 on why I'm not.

Q5: Is there anything I want that can stop this. See question 3. No, I'm not holding the world ransom. I don't give a damn about money. You can't buy me out. I'm literally blowing up the world, with me on it! You think I care about my bank account?

Edit 3: Wow, so many upvotes! So many awards! You guys like me! Yay! I'm still gonna blow everything up though. You just have more time to mess around. Oh, and if you're thinking that some government is going to save you? Nah. I totally hacked pretty much everyone. I didn't completely shut them down though. They technically can still take out my Death Laser if they work fast enough, but the odds are pretty slim.

Also, I'm glad you guys are asking more interesting questions. Keep it up for as long as you can!

Edit 4: Welp, time's just about up. All you guys have left now is to go outside. Look up to the sky and watch the biggest, best, and last light show on Earth. See ya, Reddit. It's been fun!

119

Ishouldbeworking01 t1_je7gqel wrote

Hello, My name is Doreen Hithers,

My Grandson has helped me set this question and answer writing forum so you can all ask about my husbands Space death laser, I'm not very technological so I might get some terms wrong but I will try my best.

I wont have time to answer all the questions, but my Grandson will pick some out for me and help me type it in.

Q: Where did the space laser come from?

A: My husband (bless him) was working on it as part of a Russian cold war effort, from what he has told me they where all issued activation codes incase Russia fell and where told to use them.

Q: How many people have codes?

A: My Husband (Пётр-Peter) had a little group, they would catch up every week or so and have a drink and reminisce about old times, sadly time makes fools of us all and the group is just down to himself and Дмитрий-Dmitriy

Edit 1: Roy (Doreens Grandson) here, she had to go to bridge game and will be back in a couple hours-keep them questions coming, please keep the troll comments about it being 'our laser comrade' to a min please.

Edit 2: she is back!

Q: How did the broadcast reach a global audience?

A: Covert operators where sent to place secret relay towers/ transmitters across the globe, most should still be operating.

Edit 3: Roy here, I've been able to find the delay codes with Grandad, but he doesn't remember where he put the deactivation codes, it also looks like they need help with TV remote as its been stuck and wont volume up and down (i know this isn't relevant to the whole 'laser thing' but they wanted me to ask.

Q: Why isnt Peter doing the AMA if its his laser

A: Peter is having a rest , this thing has stressed him out a lot, we don't want his blood pressure going to high or its another trip to the Dr's

Q : Does Dmitrity have the codes?

A: Roy here, he is out at the local duck pond with the retirement home, he said he has written down the code but each time Try to facetime him/get a picture to read it off, i just get pictures of ducks or a close up of his face - I'm working on it! Edit- thanks for the awards!

Edit 4: Roy here, thanks to all who sent links about the TV remote, I fixed it!

Edit 5: Roy here, Ok Grandma is tired and wants to take a break and it sounds like some helicopters just landed out side and lots of people in black suits are getting out, I will keep an eye on the questions and if any jump out I'll ask them and post the answer.

Thank you all for the awards and upvotes-who knew this would be my most upvoted comment and we even went to the front page!

21

micahamey t1_je8ojuy wrote

u/NotSoSuperHero: "Hey u/frigganlazer, do you have a favorite color? Or is your life just various shades of evil?"

u/frigganlazer: "Ah, u/NotSoSuperHero, I see you're quite the comedian. But to answer your oh-so-original question, my favorite color is actually rainbow. Yes, that's right, even us evil masterminds enjoy a splash of color in our lives. Shocking, I know."

u/CuriousCatastrophe: "u/frigganlazer, what's your favorite pastime when you're not plotting world domination?"

u/frigganlazer: "Well, u/CuriousCatastrophe, when I'm not busy holding the world hostage with my space laser, I enjoy knitting. Nothing quite like creating a cozy pair of socks to warm my cold, villainous heart."

u/UnderwhelmedUnderdog: "If you could have any superpower, u/frigganlazer, what would it be and why?"

u/frigganlazer: "Oh, u/UnderwhelmedUnderdog, such a thought-provoking question! As if having a space laser capable of obliterating your precious Earth isn't enough. But if I must indulge your curiosity, I'd choose the power to make everyone's Wi-Fi go out at random times. You know, just to keep things interesting."

u/SpaceLaserEnthusiast: "u/frigganlazer, any advice for aspiring super villains out there?"

u/frigganlazer: "Dearest u/SpaceLaserEnthusiast, my advice for budding evildoers would be to remember that even the most diabolical plans can be foiled by the most mundane of obstacles. So, always remember to double-check your evil lair's Wi-Fi password and, of course, invest in a solid backup generator. Best of luck!"

4

micahamey t1_je8oki7 wrote

u/NotSoSuperHero: "Hey u/frigganlazer, do you have a favorite color? Or is your life just various shades of evil?"

u/frigganlazer: "Ah, u/NotSoSuperHero, I see you're quite the comedian. But to answer your oh-so-original question, my favorite color is actually rainbow. Yes, that's right, even us evil masterminds enjoy a splash of color in our lives. Shocking, I know."

u/CuriousCatastrophe: "u/frigganlazer, what's your favorite pastime when you're not plotting world domination?"

u/frigganlazer: "Well, u/CuriousCatastrophe, when I'm not busy holding the world hostage with my space laser, I enjoy knitting. Nothing quite like creating a cozy pair of socks to warm my cold, villainous heart."

u/UnderwhelmedUnderdog: "If you could have any superpower, u/frigganlazer, what would it be and why?"

u/frigganlazer: "Oh, u/UnderwhelmedUnderdog, such a thought-provoking question! As if having a space laser capable of obliterating your precious Earth isn't enough. But if I must indulge your curiosity, I'd choose the power to make everyone's Wi-Fi go out at random times. You know, just to keep things interesting."

u/SpaceLaserEnthusiast: "u/frigganlazer, any advice for aspiring super villains out there?"

u/frigganlazer: "Dearest u/SpaceLaserEnthusiast, my advice for budding evildoers would be to remember that even the most diabolical plans can be foiled by the most mundane of obstacles. So, always remember to double-check your evil lair's Wi-Fi password and, of course, invest in a solid backup generator. Best of luck!"

2

ledcbamrSUrmeanes t1_je901y2 wrote

  • iwearmygfspanties: Hey. Fellow laser-builder here. Love your work. Can you share tips on how you got into the industry and how did your relatives react when they found out?
    • PM_ME_BRUSSELS_PICS: Not op, but I also build world ending lasers as a hobby. The 9k refractor is your best entry level for small (asteroid-like) targets. Once you get into the business of destroying larger items, the refractor is not the first issue you have: energy is. Building your own nuclear reactor helps reduce your bills a lot.
  • FridayThe30th: What do you make of the guilty verdict your received in the CryptoPancakes trial?
    • OP: Please limit your questions to the world ending laser.
  • taxtherich_doitnow: How can you think this is a good idea? With the all the wealth you've got you could greatly improve everyone's life. And instead of doing that, you just destroy everything. Is is a trick to avoid paying taxes?
    • AdjectiveAnimal3611: Why do you want to limit wat other people can do with their money? When you're successful it's becos you worked really hard and deserve it so any choice you make is entirely yours and people complaining are just jealous of your success.
    • ActualKenLivingstone: Not OP, but the 2A guarantees every citizen the right to bear arms. That includes world ending lasers.
      • havingastrokeRNplzsendhelp: TIL the US constitution allows for anyone to destroy the entire world.
    • OP: Because we, at BrighterFuture, believe that the world as it is today makes no sense. Better start from scratch. Anyway, have you reserved your pod at survivethelaser.com? offers start at only 5k / month.
      Edit: why are you all downvoting my answer?
  • icomefromthemoonAMA: hey you probably don't remember me but we were in school together and i waited at your table when you were doing a tour for your first laser in Michigan in '12. Anyway I just wanted to say that the whole team really appreciated having you there.
  • CoffeeIsAHumanRight: Can you tell us how you plan to refund all the customers who bought digital pancakes and got denied their access to their wallet after your company went bankrupt?
    • OP: Please limit your questions to the world ending laser.
    • areUforReal911: OP is not answering any legit questions. This is soooo going to /r/AMAdisasters
      • DefinitelyNotOPsMom: rather /r/amaBeforeDisasters
  • Broken_Disc_99854671345: Why did your bitcoins pancakes business fail? What is your view on the result of your trial?
    • OP: Please limit your questions to the world ending laser.
2