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"Hey! Hey, you down there! Looking to earn some easy coin?!" The knight peered upwards from atop his steed, trying to make out the cloaked figure standing on the precipice of the mountain. He thought about moving on with his travels, but then the mystery man called out again and the knight's sense of curiosity got the better of him. The shouts carried down the mountain, spurring the call to adventure. "I could really use some help up here!"

Within a short time, the knight found that he had to abandon his horse owing to the increasingly steep terrain he now faced, and so he hitched it to a small tree jutting from the cragged rock face, continuing up as the man's voice became clearer and clearer, until, finally, the two were face to face. Behind the stranger lay a great cave, the interior shrouded by impenetrable darkness. Something about the environment rattled the knight, as though he knew things were not quite right.

"It's the damnedest thing, you know..." The stranger began, hobbling over to greet the knight as he stood with his hand firmly on the hilt of his sword, eying the cave with suspicion. "I lost a sack of coin beyond the entrance to that cave there. I would go and fetch it myself, but these old eyes are no longer up to the task. Perhaps you, a brave man of adept sight, can go in search for it and then afterwards we can surely split the value!"

"Remove your hood, sir. Allow me to look upon your face, so that I may know you are of noble intent."

Hesitantly, the strange man pulled down his hood, revealing a leathery, aged complexion. The skin on him betrayed an almost scaly appearance, but still it did little to dissuade the valiant knight from his newest pursuit and he cautiously made his way into the cave mouth, sword drawn and ready to strike. 

After a while, when the hooded man on the mountain heard the screams crying out from within the cave, followed by a victorious roar of delectation, he made his way back over to the precipice. There he spied another traveler walking the road below. Grinning, he called down to him, requesting assistance and offering an opportunity for some easy coin. 

“…But why ? Why would you ask for someone to come and slay you ?”

The great beast exhaled a grey cloud from its nose, as it extended its neck to look at the armored warrior. “You know us for being dangerous, violent, and greedy, but we are also very smart, little man. When one of us feels themself going, what better way to go than in a final fight against you, fierce warriors who don’t fear our fire ? What better way, if we want to do wrong to another of our kind, than to offer a part of our treasure for someone to come rob or kill them ? And you are also very entertaining. Those little armies and their wooden sticks are nothing to us, but if we want a real fight, against someone who is actualLu a match for us, then we just have to ask, with a good bounty on our heads.”

The slayer was astonished. “So… all of these quests are all for you to have fun ? How do you even register them ?!”

The dragon closed its golden eyes and chuckled, as its tail happily whipped the piles of gold it was resting on. “No, of course some quests still come from humans. As for registering, we do have to get creative from time to time, the smaller of us simply dip their claws in ink and write messages, while others just wreak havoc until they accumulate a high enough bounty… personally, I use smoke signals.”, it said, pointing at the open crater at the top of the cave.

The knight lowered their head, and placed one hand on the handled of their sheathed sword. “Then I assume you want me to fight you, right ?”

The dragon laughed once more, then menacingly opened its mouth to reveal its terrifying dentition, and the brasier that was already burning in its throat, projecting light onto the shining gold like a large oil lamp. “I sure would appreciate a good distraction.”

Hitman, but all the guests are dragons.

I remember doing something similar in my setting but with vampires. "Middle aged" or smart vampires prefer to be left unnoticed, so whenever troublemaker appears, they basically sic the vampire hunters on them, using them like something of a police force.

“I’m fine with anything,” Mana said with a shrug.

“You said that last time, and you barely touched your dinner, babe,” Gen cautioned, looking up from his phone.

Mana raised an eyebrow, curling her spiked tail around her hind legs as she shifted her weight on the couch. She huffed, and a small ring of smoke drifted lazily from her nostrils toward the cave’s ceiling. “Dude, just order whatever.”

The purple scales lining Gen’s spine rippled, shimmering a rather incredulous shade of green. He leaned over Mana to grab his phone from the limestone side table. His claws clicked against the screen as he swiped through each option.

Clack.

“Okay so I’ll get us a crusader each?” he asked.

“Ugh, we just had crusader last week,” Mana sighed.

Clack.

“Hmm, how about conqueror? We haven’t had conqueror for a while.”

“I cannot listen to another pre-appetizer sermon. Last time we ordered one, he had a whole twenty minute speech before we could twist his head off. I get that it’s supposed to be a culinary experience, but come on! Let’s just get to the food already.”

Gen chuckled, his maw widening to reveal three rows of razor-sharp teeth.

Clack.

“Empress? You love empress,” he queried.

“Too much gold. It gives me the sniffles,” Mana answered.

Clack.

“Strongman?”

“Too meaty.”

Clack.

“Poet?”

“Too dry!”

“Mana, just pick something!”

“I told you, I’m fine with whatever!”

“I swear I will go outside, swoop down, and grab us a peasant if you don’t pick something right now,” Gen said, opening his leathery wings ever so slightly.

“Ew!” Mana roared, “Fine, let’s just get crusader again.”

“Thank you, babe. I just put the items in,” Gen said as he confirmed the order with a satisfying click. “Looks like the wait time’s 3 years and 6 days.”

“Mm, perfect,” Mana’s forked tongue licked her lips, “I was just starting to get peckish.”

I made my way through the caverns in silence, glowrod held high. The alchemical substances inside the glass rod cast an eerie, green light all around me, reflecting off the dripping limestone in a manner most unpleasantly reminiscent of the interior of some great beast's bowels. . . which was where I was likely to end up if I played my hand incorrectly.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I rounded the corner and found myself face to face with an enormous black-scaled dragon, perched on an enormous mound of gold coins, fanged teeth dripping with poison, serpentine eyes glaring at me with sinister intent.

"AHHH. . ." it growled, rumbling the caves with the power of its voice. "ANOTHER MORSEL ENTERS THE CAVES OF BRISAGAERETH THE BLACK-WINGED TYRANT. TELL ME, MORTAL. DID YOU REALLY THINK IT WOULD BE THIS SIMPLE TO PLUNDER THE HOARD OF HE WHO BROUGHT DOWN THE WALLS OF THE WHITE CITY?"

"EXCUSE ME!" I shouted in reply. "If THIS is how you're going to treat me, I'm going to leave and sell my services to the next client!"

The dragon's eyes widened in surprise. "OH!" it said. "MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES, MORSEL. . . ahem. I mean. . . mortal. You would be the broker, then?"

"I would be, indeed." Reaching into my cloak pocket, I pulled out a comically large rectangle of pasteboard, embossed in gold, enchanted with glowing calligraphy:

​

>Whymper, Strunk, and Blackhammer
>
>Adventurer Brokering Agency.
>
>Est. year 504 of the Fifth Age of Man.

​

The dragon took it in his claws: the thing looked comically tiny in his claws, and he squinted to read the text. "Ah, yes," he rumbled. "You come highly recommended. Vercingetorix used your services last year."

"I remember. Mortenwrath the Red." Five adventuring parties had met their ends down Mortenwrath's gullet. The sixth had become rich beyond imagination and immediately retired from the adventuring life: at least four of them by necessity, due to lost limbs (and in at least one case, blindness). "Do you have a similar need?"

"Ebonflack the Swamp Wyrm," Brisagaereth snarled. "An uppity little thing that thinks to take my place as Tyrant of the Black Dragons. I could take him on, but he's gotten ahold of a Blade of Dragonslaying. Attached it to his damn tail, of all things. It looks ridiculous, but I still don't dare fight him while he has it."

"Ah." I took out my notepad and made a note: In possession of Blade of Dragonslaying. Offer to adventurers as incentive for completing contract. "Is there anything else you can tell me about Ebonflack?"

"He lives in the Brilliant Swamps. Protects his lair with illusion magics. Seems to have allied himself with a swamp hag coven and a pack of lizardmen."

Brilliant Swamps. Illusion Magic. Adds - Swamp Hags, Lizardmen. "What can you tell me about his horde? Any particular magical items or artifacts that might be of interest?"

"Well, there's that Blade of Dragonslaying," Brisagaereth rumbled. "Oh, and I heard he's gotten ahold of an Obsidian Orb. Probably how he's managed to stay out of my attention for long enough to grow this big. The usual magic wands and rings. And of course, there's the gold. . ." The huge black dragon licked his lips hungrily at the thought of the gold.

"Ah. As a reminder, the terms of the contract state that the adventurers who carry it out lay claim to the treasure held within, aside from select magic items or artifacts which we may lay claim to as our finder's fee." I jotted down a note: Obsidian Orb: Scrying Focus. Consult Client List. "I believe that brings us to the final step of our process." I unrolled a huge scroll of parchment and touched my Actuary's Quill to its surface.

Brisagaereth looked on in interest as the magic quill quickly inscribed the terms of the contract onto the parchment: terms of payment, arbitration agreements, penalties for breaking the terms, non-competition agreements. . . "Wait one moment," he snarled. "This last portion here. You can't be serious."

Ah yes. The Geas of Binding. "I am," I said. "In order to maintain our reputation among the adventuring community, I must ask you to submit to a Geas of Binding. Until the contract is completed, you may not in any way confront or interfere with the actions of the target."

Brisagaereth snarled at that. "This is absurd! You mean I need to sit back in my lair and watch that little turd preen around and gather allies? He'll think I'm AFRAID of him!"

"It is necessary. After all," I smiled dangerously, "Otherwise, you could just swoop in at the last moment, kill our adventuring party, and make off with all of Ebonflack's possessions yourself, couldn't you?"

From the dragon's flinch and sheepish expression, that was exactly what he'd had in mind. "I would like to remind you that we are one of the oldest, most respected, and most powerful adventuring guilds in the realm. We didn't get there by having a reputation for screwing over our adventurers. Besides," I said, smiling disarmingly, "there's no way that any adventuring party can completely loot a dragon's lair in one go. There will be plenty of gold left behind for enterprising dragons to claim after they have left."

Brisagaereth nodded begrudgingly at that and placed his claw against the parchment. The scroll glowed brightly, sending motes of magical energy into his body as the Geas bound him to the contract. "Thank you," I said. I touched the Rod of Duplication to the scroll, creating an exact (if non-magical) copy. "Your copy of the contract. A mage will be in touch with you once the contract is confirmed completed."

The dragon snarled at that, but waved his claw towards the entrance of the cave. I made my way back through the dank, damp caverns and back to the surface.

It was raining. "Oh, bloody heavens," I growled, pulling the hood of my cloak over my curling ram-like horns. "This is all I need."

My wagon was where I had left it, my mule placidly cropping the grass near where I'd left him fettered and tied to a tree. I stowed the scroll under the seat and picked up my Sending Stone, tapping the runes for the Whitecastle office:

>!B. has outbid E. and signed contract. Do not let E. sign any contracts or know they have been targeted until E's Negotiator is safely clear. Will transmit terms shortly.!<

&#x200B;

Epilogue:

&#x200B;

>DRAGONSLAYERS NEEDED
>
>Anonymous Client requires adventurers to slay black dragon in the Brilliant Swamps. Swamp Hags and Lizardfolk may be a factor. Contractors may keep all treasure found within (includes Sword of Dragonslaying), with exception of Obsidian Orb of Scrying (cash bonus for retrieving said item intact). Contact local Whymper, Strunk, and Blackhammer office for further details.