We always have problems with the printer, new guy helped us fix it, he said "Oi, why is de paper empty?!" He punched a hole on the side of the machine, thing works better than ever before.

Today boss wanted something done about the new landing page we've been working on, new guy told our team: "Oi, where is de git button?! smole people want dem fing!" He suggested a button with the word "BUY" on it, a huge red button on the center of the website and our online orders have gone up by 40%.

New guy stole my sandwich from the office fridge today, I don't really want to argue about it, I'm not sure he knows that the food in there belongs to everyone in the office, he ate everything, even Steve's birthday cake... Poor Steve.

Boss has been eyeing my cubicle recently I think I might get the promotion my coworkers have been talking about, with the new guy in my team we've been having zero problems with the new servers, new guy placed them inside the office fridge now that it's empty and they haven't had any issues, we haven't had to call the maintenance guys, servers are purring like kittens.

I may have underestimated the new guy... I know he's an orc (literally) but he has made some incredible changes in our work environment it only makes sense he takes on this project from now on, boss wasn't happy about how I used to handle things, one thing led to another and I'm now emptying my cubicle, hopefully I'll get a job soon.

I hate you "Goog" but damn... do you make things work!