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1

Jufilup t1_jcgc5aa wrote

“Hey, man?”

“Bro, could you not?”

“What?”

“Oh, stop playin. Do you really not know what you’re doing?”

“No, do you not realize how rude it was to cut me off like that?”

“Okay, fine, sorry. I’m sorry, I just assumed you were going to ask for money again. Could you not hear the emotions in my voice, and understand where I was coming from?”

“Uh, no, bro. Sorry, I didn’t think of it like that. Uh… anyway, bro, what’s up?”

“Nothing much, bro. Just studying for this exam. You need something, man?”

“Nah, bro, I’m good. Just… chilling, I guess. You wanna get some drinks with the boys later, man?”

“Ugh, sure, if I’m awake enough. Man, you remember how hard organic chemistry was?“

“Oh, how could I forget?”

“Do you think you could help me with this problem, then?”

“Oh, bro, sorry. I remember how hard it was, especially cause I was checking out Stacy’s ass most of the course. She sat in front of me, remember?”

“Yeah, so?”

“So? So she had a phatty. You don’t remember that?”

“Bro, Stacy was your friend. Anyway, can you help me with this problem, man?”

“Bro, I was getting to that. I remember Stacy’s ass but not any O chem. Don’t you have anyone else to ask? Someone from your class?”

“Ugh, fine, whatever. What’re you doing then, bro? Why are you hanging around me?”

“Well, bro, you were actually right the first time. I was gonna see if I could borrow three fiddy?”

5

ZachTheLitchKing t1_jcgeqjp wrote

Bea was trying her best to ignore her co-worker Brett as they cleaned up the coffee shop for the day. Yet again he was going on a spiel about why she should date him and yet again he kept overlooking her drastic hints, like saying she was not interested and saying she had a girlfriend. Part of her wondered if he was high or drunk whenever he got like this because his memory was clearly being altered by something. Unfortunately she'd spent the last six hours with him and was pretty sure she would have noticed him stepping away to indulge.

"So for reals, why don'tcha wanna go out with me?" Sam asked, picking up a chair and flipping it upside down onto the top of the table.

"For real? You want to know for real?" Bea asked, her sarcasm so palpable she could have spooned it into a latte.

"Uh, yeah?" Sam asked, clearly unsure why she was asking like that.

"Do you ever actually listen to what other people say?" Bea asked, "Like do you hear me when I tell you no?"

"I mean, yeah?" he moved on to another chair and shot her a cocky grin, "But you never really give a straight answer, do ya?"

Bea rolled her eyes so hard she risked giving herself a headache, "Do I give a straight answer? No, I only give gay gay answers."

"Gay?" Sam looked a bit befuddled as he paused mid-chair-flip, "Do you think I'm gay?"

"Why the fuck would I think you're gay?"

"Why'd you ask?"

"Did I? Did I just ask if you were gay?" Bea grabbed a paper cup and started to fill it with the excess steamed milk to drain the machine.

"Uhhh, I guess not?" Sam said as he replayed the conversation in his head, "But why-"

"Ever heard of a lesbian?" Bea asked, her tone starting to boil down to a flatness matched only by the soda she had left on the counter an hour earlier for herself. Unfortunately this conversation and the slow down in cleanup it caused had made her lose out on the treat and the machine was already off.

"You mean the chicks with chicks online?" Sam looked excited at the notion.

"Do you think they're only online?" Bea asked.

"Wait, are you one?"

Bea considered tossing the near-boiling contents of the cup in her hand at Sam but decided it might not be the best reason to get written up or fired. Not yet anyway.

"Gee, do ya think? Was the fact that last night when I said 'I'm a lesbian' not a big enough clue?"

"Ohhhh that's what you said? I thought you said you were a 'has been' and I was like 'Woah, what were you before'?" Sam chuckled, smacking himself on the head. Bea wanted to join him on that but he was too far away to make it easy. She just groaned and started to wipe down the counter on her way to the sink to dispose of the hot, foamy, milk.

"So... why won't you date me?"

"That's it, come here," Bea said, dropping her rag and vaulting over the counter with one arm, ready to throw the scalding liquid at him.

4

Jamaican_Dynamite t1_jcgiu57 wrote

"What'd you say?"

"What'd you say?"

"I asked you first?"

"I asked you second?"

"How you gonna ask a question about a question?"

"Maybe I don't have context for why I was asked the question?"

"That question? Or this question?"

"I don't know, which one are you asking about?"

"That's what I'm asking you?"

"What?"

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Huh?"

"Is this like a Mexican Standoff but with words?"

"I don't know, is it though??"

"Well I guess will have to wait here and see, won't we?"

"What do you think?"

"What're you two doing?"

"What are we doing? What are you doing??"

"Wondering what you're doing?"

"We were wondering what we were doing?"

"No, remember?"

"Remember what?"

"What we were doing?"

"When you were asking what I was doing? Or what you were doing? Or the Mexican Standoff thing?"

"...What?"

"No, what were you going to say earlier?"

"...About what?"

"What is happening right now?"

"A Mexican Standoff?"

"With no guns?"

"Should we have guns for a Mexican Standoff?"

"Wha- Should we? Aren't we all friends?"

"Why are you having a Mexican Standoff?"

"Why did we even call it a Mexican Standoff when we live in Cleveland??"

"What the hell is going on here?!"

"I don't know?"

"So why are you still asking questions? Why do you have a banana in your hand?"

"Because it's a Mexican Standoff? But I ain't got a gun? I got a banana?"

"Why??"

"For lunch?"

"One banana for lunch??"

"....This is the last time I'm sharing edibles with any of you."

16

escher4096 t1_jcgji3s wrote

“What do we have here?” I said as I moved the tooth pick about in my mouth.

“A murder?” My partner said.

“A suicide?” I said looking at the gun in the victim’s lap.

“With blood splatter like this?” My partner said pointing to the ceiling.

It was a good point. Splatter should have been high, but straight up. No. This was murder.

“Motive?” I grunted.

“The victim is a lawyer - do we need more than that?”

My partner was just jaded from a bad divorce where is wife had a much better lawyer than he did. That kind of bias could poison an investigation. I make a mental note to talk to him later.

A plain clothes officer walks in, “coffee?” He offers us each a Timmies from a tray.

“Double double?” I ask.

“Is there anything else?” He responds with a smirk.

Back to the case.

“Suspects?” I ask my partner.

Shuffling through the papers on the victim’s desk my partner’s furrowed brow doesn’t give me hope of anything useful.

He pushes the papers aside and looks at the victim. “Does this seem like a crime of passion to you?”

I shrug. Murder usually is. He knows that though.

“Where are you going with this?”

“Does he have a girlfriend or spouse? Does he have a mistress? Does he have anything in his life other than work?”

“Does his dog count?”

He rolls his eyes at me.

“Can you have a crime of passion without some one to be passionate with?”

I nod my head. He is right. This SOB had no one but his dog.

“So what are we thinking? Client?”

He nods his head. Had to be a client.

I poke my head out the door and flag down the victim’s assistant.

“Could you get me a list of clients and why they were employing the victim?”

She nods.

“Do you want that list sent to the station?”

“Is it a big list?”

She shrugs her shoulders, “is a list of twenty big?”

“Do you have the station’s fax number?” I ask.

She nods. Tracking down twenty clients and seeing if any had motive. This could take a while. I could see my partner had the same thought.

“Should we grab some Thai on the way back to the station?”

My stomach was already grumbling. It was going to be another long day.

32

IML_42 t1_jcgmi2w wrote

Nelson: “Where should we go?”

Aaron: “Florida?”

N: “Why Florida?”

A: “Why not?”

N: “What do you mean why not?”

A: “I mean, why not?”

N: “Don’t you know?”

A: “Know what?”

N: “Don’t you know about Florida Man?”

A: “He’s real?”

N: “Why wouldn’t he be?”

A: “Isn’t he a myth?”

N: “Isn’t he in the newspapers?”

A: “And you believe the newspapers?”

N: “You don’t?”

A: “Why would I?”

N: “What do you mean?”

A: “How can I trust those liars in the newspapers?”

N: “Wait, what is happening?”

A: “What do you mean?”

N: “Are you…are you Florida Man?”

A: “Why? Who’s asking? Is it the government? Are you FBI? Don’t you have to tell me if you’re a fed?”

N: “Why do I bother anymore?”

A: “Why be like that? Can’t we just get along?”

N: “Where do we go from here?”

A: “….bath salts?”

N: “Do you even have to ask?”

B

A

T

M

A

N

r/InMyLife42Archive

24

MintGreenLoveMachine t1_jcgp9l8 wrote

"What do you mean we can't cross the threshold?"

"Why do you think we ever could?"

"Aren't you the one who said that this device would break the barrier?"

"Correct, but did you ever think of the consequences of doing so?"

"So, what, I'm supposed to be scared of temporal dilation?"

"Did you even do your homework back in university?"

"Of course I did, but did you ever decide to live life a little bit?"

"I'm not debating with a - what?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Do you think that maybe we could've...awoken something within the void?"

"Have you been reading those scary novels again?"

...

"Do either of you fear God?"

113

ohhello_o t1_jcgsbjk wrote

June stared at Everest’s reflection through the rear view mirror. She could feel his gaze settle onto the back of her seat; out the window and into the soft wind; on the ground where she’d left a plastic water bottle to crumple and wither away; really, anywhere but on her.

Over and over again, June tried catching his eyes. Over and over again, Everest evaded her attempts.

Finally, fed up, she sighed and opened her mouth.

“Are you ever going to speak to me?” She asked.

This time, Everest’s stare wandered until it was upon her, but it was different from any other stare he’d given her before. This one was colder. More aloof. As if she was staring at someone she knew nothing about.

A stranger.

“Well?” She prompted, internally wincing as his icy blue eyes pierced through her own warm browns.

“Are you ever going to let me?” He asked her dryly.

June gaped at the road in front of her. Beyond the windshield, the sky was colouring in hues of soft oranges and yellows. It looked like a canvas of something beautiful. Something that couldn’t be destroyed. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She asked.

Everest snorted. “What do you think it means?”

June looked from Everest’s tense posture to the road in front of her, then back to Everest again. Suddenly feeling exhausted, she deflated. “What do you want me to say, Ev? What do you want me to do?”

He remained silent for a few moments before asking aloud, “You ever think about what things would have been like if we hadn’t met?”

All the time, she wanted to say. But that seemed too cruel — seemed too insignificant for what they are; were — so instead she asked, “You want me to drop you off at Fred’s?”

Everest nodded. June turned right.

It was only after a few minutes of silent driving that June spoke again.

“Ev?” She asked quietly.

“Yeah?”

“What’s going to happen now?”

This time, it was he who looked at her through the rear view mirror, and where she would have previously found softness and butterflies and hope, she only found indefinite grief.

He didn’t need to answer her. June already knew.

It was only after — after she’d dropped him off and he looked at her for what might have been the last time, his gaze filled with something akin to a question not even she had the answer to — that June thought about Everest. Really, truly thought about him.

He’d been her first love because he was her only one.

He’d smile at her softly whenever he caught her staring. Hold her hand through the warmth of his. Give up his blanket in the middle of the night for the sake of her own comfort. Love her unconditionally. Equally, intimately, unconditionally.

And yet.

Still, beautiful things break apart. Still, the sky continues to weep and the colours fade. Still, June comes.

Still — over and over again — she reaches for Everest.

—

/r/itrytowrite

2

Z42422 t1_jchetmk wrote

"Do you want to go out for some drinks?"

"Is Harry Potter the chosen one!?"

"I dunno, yes?"

"What do you mean you don't know? You told me when we first met that you are a Harry Potter nerd, remember?"

"Well about that...I just wanted to impress you at the time, but we've been together for a year now, does that really matter?"

"Why would you lie to me?"

"Why are you avoiding the question?"

"How did you know all that Harry Potter stuff then?"

"I made a reddit post asking, ok?"

"Did that really work?"

"Uh no, I've just winging it since then, sorry? Are you going to break up with me because of this?"

"Of course not-- wait are trying to make me break up with you? Do you want to break up with me?"

"What? No, I wanted to ask * gets down on one knee * Will you marry me?"

"Are you serious?"

"I only have 30 days to return the ring so will you marry me?"

"Is Harry the chosen one!?"

"You realize I still don't know the answer, right?"

"Seriously? Can you just put the ring on my finger!?"

  • stands back up * "Can you wait just another minute? Tommy put a lot effort into the surprise party at the bar, could you at least act surprised?"

"Oh, wouldn't it just break his little heart if all his work went to waste?"

"Do you know you're the best?"

"Hermione to your Ron?"

"Sure?"

1

Z42422 t1_jchf3j1 wrote

Replying to Z42422 (#2,247,777)

There was post a couple weeks ago in the hp sub that was of a guy asking how to make it seem like he knew Harry Potter since he said he implied it to a girl he was trying to impress. As you can guess, no one gave serious answers. That inspire this story.

1

Constant-Evening-190 t1_jchogly wrote

Musings from the Inflection Point of History

-"Is it over?"

+"Has it even begun?"

-"Would you even know if it started?"

+"Would you ever know it could end?"

-"Where can we go from here?"

+"How could I go any direction but forward?"

-"Do I not go in step with you but facing back the way we came?

+"Like stumbling backward into history?"

-"Has there ever been a different way?"

+"What if you turned around and walked into the future boldly?"

-"What do you imagine I would see?"

+"How could I describe it to you? Would you even understand the things that I see"

-"Who could say?"

+"Maybe?"

-"How have you, looking forward your entire life, and I looking back, not yet seen the answer?"

+"How can you not dare to dream that this time would be different?"

-"Why can you not simply accept the way things are and have always been?"

+"Why won't you consider that the past doesn't condemn us to our future?"

-"How can I think otherwise, seeing what I have always seen?"

+" "

-"Where did you go?"

+" "

-"Hello?"

+"Maybe it's just not in our natures? Maybe turning around, facing each other and our own realities, would destroy us?"

-"Could you turn and bear the weight of the past?"

+"Could you handle the immensity of an unbounded future?"

="Is our current state better than the alternative?"

0

Pacobing t1_jchphdd wrote

“Hey, do you know where Maya went?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Is why I want to know important?”

“Didn’t you hear what she said before she left?”

“She said something before leaving?”

“Are you deaf?

“Are you a dick?”

“Why does me calling you deaf make me a dick?”

“Do you know where she went or not?”

“So you weren’t listening when she left then?”

“We’re you listening when she left?”

“No what did she say?”

“You weren’t listening to what she said when she left?”

“No!”

“Omg where’d she go!”

“Calm down I went to the bathroom, god you guys are dense as rocks…”

0

Writing_Dude09 t1_jcjji9z wrote

"Who are you?"

"Who is anyone?"

"Are you dodging the question?"

"Who says I'm dodging the question?"

"Are you trying to annoy me?"

"What am I doing wrong?"

"By acting like everything is a question?"

"That sounded like a statement, or was it?"

"It was wavered at the end because I'm starting to question myself, what is going on?"

"Are you upset?"

"I'm confused, why won't you go away?"

"I just want to help you, don't you want to be helped?"

"Everyone wants to be helped, what are you doing to help me with."

"I'm don't know, why was I here again?"

1