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The vampiress bounded from tree to tree, her tattered dress fluttering like a black banner. Levi urged his horse faster and raised his heavy crossbow. Aiming at her back, he let loose a hawthorn bolt.

The vampiress leapt aside at the last moment, crashing through the branches and the undergrowth with a scream. Bursting out onto the road, her pale skin scratched and bleeding, she hissed furiously, but Levi's well-trained horse didn't spook. Whirling around, she fled down the road. He gave chase, winding up his crossbow.

The trees thinned out, and a grand mansion loomed ahead, its windows shuttered. The vampiress raced up the gravel path and practically crashed through the ornate front door. Levi rode up the path and sawed the reins, considering the mansion.

Her lair, then. The vampiress didn't seem very powerful, which meant she wasn't old enough to have built such a stately mansion for herself. Perhaps she had stolen it from some local noble. Levi was just passing through the town when he heard of the attack, so he wasn't well-versed in local history.

He dismounted, patted his heaving horse, and approached the ajar doors. Silence and darkness beyond. He loaded a bolt into his crossbow, patted the vials of holy water hanging from his bandolier, and entered.

Despite the gloom inside, he didn't light a torch, relying on his hearing until his eyes adapted. His steps echoed loudly on the marble floor. Paintings and gilded tapestries hung from the walls. Whoever built the mansion certainly didn't lack wealth.

A creak drifted from upstairs, then a muted laugh. Was she luring him into a trap? The nerve of the creature.

Lifting his crossbow, he walked up the stairs and down a hallway toward the source of the noise. A set of double doors barred his way, light filtering from underneath. He kicked them open and strode inside.

The large chamber beyond was furnished with silk settees, soft rugs, and piles of embroidered cushions. His quarry reclined on a couch by a large fireplace, and she wasn't alone. Another vampiress stood by her side, willowy and graceful, her long hair platinum blonde where the other's was raven black.

The first vampiress jumped to her feet and splayed out her taloned fingers, but Levi could see the fear in her eyes. The blonde laughed throatily.

"Is this the hunter who reduced you to this pathetic state, Eleanor?" she asked, looking him over. "He doesn't look like much. You must be losing your touch."

The other hissed. "Careful, sister. He has weapons I've never seen before."

"Indeed?" The blonde eyed his crossbow with distaste. "No matter the weapon you wield, you made a mistake in coming here, hunter."

Levi trained the crossbow at her chest. "We'll see about that."

Her beautiful face twisted, and she leapt at him like a bird of prey. He pressed the trigger, releasing a deadly bolt; the vampiress twisted mid-air, and it sank into her shoulder instead of her heart. Screaming in agony, she collapsed to the floor.

Levi didn't have time to finish her off because her sister sprang at him with a snarl. Winding back his arm, he walloped her with the heavy crossbow, knocking her back.

Trembling, the blonde pushed herself up and yanked out the bolt with a scream and a spray of blood. She exchanged a glance with her sister, and the two circled him to catch him in a pincer. He backpedaled and pulled a vial of holy water from his bandolier.

Suddenly the sisters froze where they stood. Levi glimpsed a fanged smile on the face of the one called Eleanor before both of them sank to their knees and bowed their heads.

"Father," they murmured reverently.

Levi whirled around and saw a third vampire in the doorway; even with his honed senses, he hadn't heard him approach. His heart plummeted as he studied the tall, well-dressed figure. There was a palpable aura of power about the vampire, the sort that came with centuries of not merely surviving but thriving.

Levi's fingers tightened on the vial, his mind weighing potential avenues of escape and discarding them one after another. This would be his last battle.

The elder vampire stepped into the chamber and considered his kneeling daughters. Then he heaved a sigh. "I'm really quite sorry for the trouble," he said in an embarrassed tone. "What have they done this time?"

Very clever! Now this is a good story; never seen someone put the prompt at the end of it, not that I can remember.

"Father," Eleanor whinged.

"Quiet," the elder said. "Let the man speak."

"A farmer from the nearby town was bitten," Levi said tersely. "His family hired me to investigate."

The elder clicked his tongue. "Eleanor, have you still not learned to control your hunger?"

The vampiress scowled. "Why should I restrain myself, father? I'm stronger than humans, better. Why should I not take what I want, when I want?"

"Then the least you could do is leave no trail, foolish girl," the elder said, a hard note entering his voice. "Not only you were overpowered, you also led a hunter to our home."

"I would've had him," she insisted. "With Fiona at my side..."

The elder eyed her tattered dress, then her sister's bleeding shoulder, and arched an eyebrow. The vampiress gritted her teeth and ducked her head. The elder chuckled.

"Neither of you is a match for him, as you could tell if you put aside your pride for but a moment." He clapped his hands. "But enough recriminations. Let's discuss the matter over dinner." He shot Levi a glance. "You will be our guest of honor, of course."

"I'd rather not," Levi said stiffly.

"Please, I insist," the elder said. "My daughters will serve you; perhaps the experience will teach them some humility. Hurry along and make yourselves presentable, girls."

Eleanor and Fiona rose to their feet, and glaring venomously at Levi, edged out of the chamber. The elder's lips curved up in amusement. Laying a hand on Levi's shoulders, he guided him out into the hallway.

"I am called Abraham. May I know your name?"

"Levi," he said curtly.

"This farmer you mentioned, Levi—has he died?"

"Fortunately not. He's still weak, but he will recover."

"That's a relief," Abraham said. "I will send appropriate compensation, of course—say, ten gold pieces. Will that settle the matter?"

Levi pursed his lips and nodded grudgingly. To a farmer, that was nothing short of a fortune. Besides, he could tell at a glance that this vampire was far too powerful for any lone hunter to defeat.

"Splendid. I always try to reach an accord with the locals. I find that it prevents bigger problems in the future."

Abraham led him downstairs and into a resplendent dining room with a large table. Taking a seat at the head of the table, the vampire motioned to his right. Levi hesitated before sighing and taking a seat.

"You seem strangely cordial given my profession," he remarked.

"Levi, please. You eliminate weaklings who give in to their bloodlust. A worthy mission if you ask me." The vampire flashed his fangs. "I personally ended more than a score of such failures. Not every Embracing is successful."

"Such as with your daughters?"

"Oh no, Eleanor and Fiona are purebloods. The apples of my eye, those two."

Levi's mind reeled at the revelation; such vampires were extremely rare. Before he could ask Abraham as to how such a thing came to be, the door into the dining room swung open. Eleanor and Fiona wheeled in a cart laden with plates of food and dusty bottles. They had changed into flowing gowns, the former's dark burgundy and the latter's midnight blue, and appeared rather peeved.

Their father coughed meaningfully and indicated Levi with his gaze. The sisters exchanged glares and hissed whispers, elbowing each other furiously. Fiona seemed to have won, because she grinned and approached her father to pour him what Levi hoped was wine. Eleanor's shoulders slumped, and she came up to Levi and practically shoved a plate of steak and vegetables before him.

"Where are your manners?" Abraham chided. "Pour our guest some wine too."

Eleanor rolled her eyes irritably but did as asked. As surreal as the experience was, Levi found himself enjoying it on some level.

"Thank you," he said, his lips twitching.

The vampiress huffed and looked away. Levi smelled the wine, then took a small sip. He was no expert, but it was damned good, he could tell that much. He eyed the steaming steak, then sent Abraham a suspicious look.

"Fresh veal from the nearby farmers," Abraham assured.

Levi carved off a small piece and took a bite, his eyes widening at the rich flavor. Even at the capital he didn't get to eat this good. Eleanor watched him eat with a hungry look on her face, but when he glanced at her, she quickly averted her gaze.

"Is the meal to your liking?" Abraham asked.

"It's sumptuous," he admitted.

"I'll pass your compliments to the kitchen staff." Abraham smiled. "Who are, of course, well treated and generously paid."

Levi nodded, a little frustrated at how easily the vampire had predicted his question, and took another sip of the wine.

The vampire leaned closer. "Tell me, has either of my daughters caught your eye?"

The wine went down the wrong pipe, and Levi broke into a coughing fit. Glaring at the smiling vampire, he wiped his lips. "Very funny."

"I wouldn't jest about this. You're a capable man; should you desire either of my daughter's hand, you will have my blessing."

"Father," Eleanor cried, stomping her foot. "Stop talking nonsense."

For once, Levi found himself agreeing with the bloodsucker. "I can't see what you stand to gain from this."

The vampire spread his hands. "My daughters are unruly, wild. Why, my younger still sneaks out at night to chase deer in the forest! They're not century-old fledglings anymore; it's about time they settled down."

Levi snorted. "And it doesn't bother you that I'm human?"

"I myself have married humans three times, and in the end, only one of my wives chose to be Embraced." A melancholic expression crossed Abraham's face, and he looked down at his glass, swirling the wine. "I find that building bonds like that helps us immortals stay... grounded."

"Well, thank you for the offer," Levi said dryly. "But my answer, begging your pardon, is absolutely no."

"Excuse me?" Fiona piped up, crossing her arms. "Any man should be ecstatic about an offer like that."

Eleanor rounded on her. "What are you talking about, sister?"

"He thrashed you even more thoroughly than Cousin Lyra when you insulted her dress. I can't help but be intrigued." She circled the table, swaying her hips, and laid her cool hand on Levi's shoulder. "Maybe I should take him for myself. See what he's made of."

Eleanor gaped at her in stunned disbelief, then seized her wrist. "Don't touch him," she hissed.

Fiona arched a manicured eyebrow. "I thought you hated him."

"Doesn't mean I'm giving him for you to play with," she retorted.

"If he's going to choose, it should obviously be me." Fiona grinned as she touched her shoulder. "He already penetrated me."

"Oh yeah?" Eleanor said, tapping her foot. "He ripped my dress and chased me through the woods!"

Had Levi been drinking, he would have choked. "That's quite enough," he said, looking warily from one crazy vampiress to the other. "As soon as I finish this splendid meal, I'm departing for the town to deliver the farmer's compensation."

The sisters frowned at him, then locked eyes with each other. Some silent communication seemed to pass between them. As one, they turned to their father.

Abraham laughed heartily. "Now now, Levi. It's late, and these old roads are treacherous. You simply must spend the night."

"Thank you, but I really can't—"

"Oh no, I insist," the elder vampire said, his crimson eyes gleaming. "I'll have the servants stable your horse and draw you a bath. It's the least I could do for the trouble my family has caused."

The sisters turned to Levi and smiled eerily similar fanged smiles. He swallowed. Lord, give me strength.

Very nice.

[deleted]

Thankfully there's a part 2 that they wrote as a reply to the original! It's also really good!

Oh, I saw. Quite the marvelous read all around!

Excellent! I loved reading this. I do hope Levi can make it out!

That makes me think of Fist of Legend with Jet Li, where he pummels an entire school of martial arts students barging into his classroom. Their master comes in all big and imposing, then just looks around at the students and wags his finger at them, "I hope you've all learned an important lesson today.".

Very well written!

I can feel their hunger. The longing they feel when they see my pale skin reflecting in the moonlight. Their want glows through yellowed eyes, grows with every flash of their fanged teeth, and they think now only l how they will go about my demise. But what they do not take into account is that I think too. That I have played this game hundreds of times and never tasted defeat. That I am not the prey, I am the hunt.

And it will take a lot more than three fledgling girls to be my end.

From my waistband I draw my blade, long, thin, and silver coated. One of the three girls, the oldest it seems, backs up at the sight of its glow. The only one smart enough to now recognize the danger they may be in.

The leftmost girl jumps down from the rooftop, her face unchanged, cold and unfeeling. Ready to feed. The other two follow in suit, moving closer with every second. They close the gap slowly but surely until the distance between them and my blade is mere feet. I hold it up, pointing up passed my head and up into the sky like the temple of a church.

Ahead the doors of homes remind me of the reason I am here. The reason I fight. If I fall in this night then every light in the window becomes dark.

But before they can approach all three grow suddenly still. They feel something, and I think I can too. Something powerful. Something ancient. A chill shoots down my spine and I spin, following my blade in a wide arc. A shadow leaps back into the dark with surprising agility.

"Apologies" The shadow speaks from the darkness in a deep and sharp voice. "I'm really quite sorry for the trouble." It steps out of the dark and into the moonlight. A fourth vampire, this one much taller, larger and with a face that shows great experience. His reddened eyes are not filled with hunger, but shame.

"Apologies? What for." My words are demanding but my voice falters. I tighten my grip on my weapon.

"There is no need hunter. You may sheath your blade." I do no such thing though. I know the power of a vampires suggestion, any sign of falter and I will comply whether I like it or not.

"I see, you are a cautious man. There is no need though, truly, I am only here to collect my children. They can get...overzealous."

"I wouldn't call trying to drain an entire village overzealous. Id call it evil."

"Maybe, hunter. But then again you already think us to be so I am not here to change your opinion. Only to collect my children." At the gesture of his hand the three girls meet him at his sides.

"And if I don't want them to?" I speak, digging deep to sound as if I have intention, a plan.

"You have no say in the matter, Grayson. Though I'm sure that you would try. Now, sheath your blade." This time I can feel the suggestion fighting. Rooting in my brain as if normal thought. Though I struggle my hands move on their own, planting the blade back at my waist.

Across from me the vampire rubs his temples in annoyance. "Now was that so hard? Thank you, hunter. We'll be on our way now. Quite embarrassing the whole ordeal." He turns to the three girls. "What were you thinking, tomorrow you have studies! Sneaking out, what will I do with you three."

"Sorry, dad", one of them mumbles in shame.

And just as they came they left back into the darkness of the surrounding forest. I let out a deep sigh and fell back into the grass, knowing I'd just come into contact and threatened the most powerful father in existence.

Haha! Oh, Grayson’s quite the lucky hunter!

I feel like I'm missing an established setting reference here, but excellent regardless!

Good job.

The twist ending though xD

Don't do it Levi! Don't let these foul creatures corrupt you!

Very well written and entertaining story. Abraham seems like a very reasonable father.

Amazing, do you plan to continue it?

Doubt he will. This is the first 5 minutes of vampire smut.

More please! They are very engaging characters and Levi's struggles to avoid the sisters are bound to be entertaining!

I could see reading more of this. It could be a longer story, definitely.

If it's the usual type of smut, everybody will win there. I mean, he'll have a harem of tsundere vampires until makes a choice for one or the other...

He does insist, after all...

This is amazing. You are an amazing writer, and I hope you keep writing in the future.

..damn I fell for a reverse-twilight.

I’m saving this

Uhhh part 3? How does he get away, if at all?

This was really fun to read, thanks! Genuinely seems like it could be the start of a good novel.

Oh, He'll "make it out", if you know what I mean.

From Van Helsing to a harem anime. Neat, i guess.

Mission: Escape the old mansion

Secondary mission: keep the vampire sisters at bay

Difficulty: Hard

I may have to check this movie out.

[removed]

I'd love to read a whole book or short story like this - loved the characters, and the way the story went!

Edited word

Oh, something’s hard alright.

The way this is going you may need to read it on another website

As a software engineer would say: it's not the bug, it's the feature

Assuming cousin Lyra doesn't off one or the other for the family picnic in episode 3.

I hope Levi can handle the peril.

Honestly feels like this would be a great start to a novel or perhaps a serialized story. Would love to see what happens next :)

I loved this! Great job!

Well, I’ll be damned.

The ragged hem of her robe disappeared into the dark mouth of the collapsed hovel like it was swallowing a dangling strip of flesh.

Every town from here to the coast is filled to the brim with a mob that’ll trip over themselves to tell you what’s wrong and even more ecstatic to tell you who’s the cause. Credit to the people of Folwood — it’s not so often that they manage to get it right.

I gave a gentle tap and a soft click to Sally’s nape before stepping off. He was used to quiet jobs and long waits and seemed to have more patience than even me. He folded up nicely, with the sliver of the moon reflected in his dark eyes.

The faint moonlight lit the hovel just enough — from any further it would’ve been indistinguishable from a pile of wood and a simple tarp. Maybe you’d think, “I wonder what happened to that carriage, collapsed way out there?” as you rode on by. Who knew it was home to vermin. But that’s par for the course in the desert.

I like to think I don’t dress loud — but the soft clink of the tools of my trade were probably like church bells to them. Maybe she knew I followed her. Maybe she didn’t. But as I grew closer to the den — they’d damn well know now.

I had one last look at its face; a few boards nailed into a doorway leaned over the ground, tracks following the earth in at a steep angle, before drawing my revolver and driving the heel of my boot into rotten wood. It caved in easy and I followed through like a landslide.

Everything I saw my revolver saw first, followed by my feet and then me. Low ceiling. Gradual slope. Straight path to the heart. Faint light down the end. Practically a dirt tunnel. No noises. Deathly quiet.

I had to cant my head to the side and buckle my knees to get through evenly but I’ve shot clean in worse.

The tunnel opened up into what looked like a cottage if it sank six feet into the ground. Wood beams and the lot. Two doorways with dirty cloth curtains. A tiny hearth built into the side, a small table in the centre, an old rug racked with dirt.

And in the corner — a pair of eyes and fangs, glowing white in the dark, bending low. The girl I’d been tracking. Another pair of lit eyes a foot to the side, peering out from behind one of the curtains. Younger. My hammer was already pulled back, could have ‘em both marked in a heartbeat. The one behind the curtain less so, don’t know how far back that goes. But I wasn’t about to fire blind without knowing how many more were down here. My left hand kept at the ready for either knives or vials.

“Hunter — perhaps you might first wonder why a vampire den would keep a light on for their guest who has come to harm them.” Came a voice from behind a curtain. Male. Older. “Might I emerge so that we can converse, preferably without any gunpowder involved?”

Three. I’ve had dogfights with twice that. Though, this might be the first time they wanted to talk first. It’d be easy enough to just pull the trigger and pick up my bounty. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was different here. He was right. The light was on, flickering softly in the dark.

“Alright.”

A dark figure pulled itself out of the side chamber — a broad heavyset man with a beard and unkempt brown hair that came together like a lion’s mane. He would’ve looked like any other farmer except for his black eyes, and pale skin — like moonlight.

I could feel the electricity of his presence in the back of my neck. Sally would understand. Horses scatter for any reason at all, sure, but sometimes they scatter for the right reason. I had to fight the urge to scatter myself.

“I’m going to take a seat at my table. Would you mind taking a seat yourself, say at that stool and lowering your gun?” His voice was like if a beer cask could talk.

There’s a voice that tells me when to fold, when to push, when a simple drink at a bar with a couple of fellows is the precursor to a bloodbath. I tried to listen to anything it had to say, but it was quiet. I was on my own. I should’ve been terrified. But something about him made me want to listen.

I gently eased up on the hammer and put a crook my arm as I sat down. Wasn’t about to holster it, but I can concede it ain’t much fun talking to the end of a barrel.

“My name is Sieger. These are my daughters,” he said motioning — slowly, for my sake — to the one in the corner, “Mary,” and the one behind the curtain, “Lyssa.” “We’ve lived here 8 years. In peace.”

Hrm. 8 years, huh?

Not exactly a newly stricken blight that’s the cause of all Folwood’s woes.

“You might not be in the profession of understanding, but we truly desire not to cause any problems. We fed from our very own cattle as long as we could but — ”

“Certainly not a surprise it died.” I threw one out there to see how he’d react. Maybe not my sanest move.

His thick brow twitched. “ — Not true, hunter. She fed us for years. But Lyssa — she’s sick. She needed twice the blood just to make it to the next morning. We took too much from our cattle, I admit, and so I sent Mary to take only fractions from the farmers in Folwood. She blends in more than I do — and I would never allow for us to take from the folk. Never, you understand?”

Maybe it was just the light finally adjusting. Maybe I hadn’t really looked at Mary until then. A vampire, sure, but she was a young girl. Maybe 16. Dark hair like her dad’s. Wrapped in a tattered brown robe that might as well have been a potato sack. Smudges like left-over coffee stained her bare feet, hands, and knees from where she’d been crawling. Fierce dark blue eyes shone above another smear from where she had tried to get some mud off her face. I couldn’t help but think back to her hissing in the corner — she would’ve gladly gone out swingin’.

“It’s alright Lyssa. Come out.” Sieger turned to her.

The smaller pair of eyes glinting in the dark hesitated. Mary turned and whispered something. No fangs out now. Lyssa pushed through the gap in the curtain. She was a child, probably 11 or 12. Long dark hair down to her ankles and wearing a similarly grungy white dress.

Vampires are pale, sure — in the dim light of their home I could see neither Mary nor Lyssa were quite as stark pale as their dad; muted red tones dotted the edges of their ears, the knuckles on their fingers, the fronts of their knees — but even I could see something was wrong with Lyssa. Her skin was greenish and a thin yellow crust marred the edges of her mouth. The bags under her eyes were pallid and thin.

“I’m sure you’ve noticed it. My daughters aren’t pure-blooded. Lyssa has some strange disease we’ve never seen before. It’s already been four months since my wife left to meet our contact in Avalan. Please, hunter, I need your help.”

Wait.

I had to blink deeply. “Now, hold on, I can admit I ain't exactly unempathetic to your circumstances—but you do realize I’m a vampire hunter, right?”

“And I, a vampire. And yet here we are, sitting at a table. You may have killed many vampires but that too means you have seen our kind. You might not have understood us, but perhaps now you might at least try.”

I opened my mouth to respond but he was quick to point to my side.

“I don’t mean to ask you to do this for free. There’s $500 in that bag right there. You get to my wife, she’ll give you another 500.”

I glanced down. A satchel sat at the base of the stool. I pushed it with the tip of my boot and heard the clatter of coins. Definitely money.

A thousand dollars from a vampire living in a hole in a ground. Guess he had ample time to save.

“I would go myself, but as you might understand, it is not so easy for me to travel unnoticed.” His head tilted and one blink lasted a little too long. I could feel him crumple, even if he didn’t show it. Not to mention, he was the real deal. Sunlight? Bit of an allergy.

I sighed maybe the last sigh I’d have as a bonafide vampire hunter. I didn’t even realize I had made a decision before my revolver was already in its holster. Mary and Lyssa were bunched up looking at me like a pair of barn owls. I opened my mouth again but Sieger was quicker on the draw.

“Thank you, hunter. Lyssa, Mary, get your things.” The two scurried off into their rooms.

“Wait—”

“Lyssa won’t make it waiting here in this tomb. You have to take them to their mother. They’ll surely have a treatment for her in Avalan.”

Christ. “Sieger, I—“

“Hunter, you may not trust me. You may not trust vampires. But I trust you.”

I took a look at the man. He could’ve been a crazed lumberjack, but instead he was one of the most eloquent and polite people I’d ever met. Maybe the most trusting. And he was a vampire.

Lyssa and Mary were back with boots at least this time and a small bag each for their things. I gave them some distance as Sieger said his goodbyes. Some quiet words and a deep hug that lifted both his daughters off their feet. Lyssa buried her brow in his chest.

“Don’t worry, he’ll keep you safe.”

Maybe he said that for them. Maybe he said it for me.

Maybe I didn’t understand vampires. But it looks like I was going to have to try.

Vampire Hunter no-fap run <impossible> (insert weird YouTuber making a blowjob face)

Is/was Abraham’s last name Van Helsing by any chance? It is an interesting name for a Vampire

You somehow made navigating social niceties far more tense than any fight against creatures of the night.

Me weapon flailed from hand to hand. Two sticks connected by chains.

"Are those, Nunchucks?" Count VanGray asked, puzzled.

"Yeah! The thinking man's whip!" I said, florishing my deadly weapons.

"Look my daughter's are young and they get out of hand sometimes. Pardon did you say whip? Youre not a-" he was cut off, as I kicked him in the solar plexus, the vampire's third weakness. "Oh hell!" he said falling over.

"Hell is right, you fucked up and they called me! The last of the Merlon family line, vampire hunters extraodinaire!" I tried to kick him again but he turned into fog.

"Ugh, you know you're all the last of your line. Have you tried exogamy? It does wonders" VanGray said as I tried to beat up the misty form he had taken.

"I'm going to whip the shit out of you!" I said, and that wasn't working out, because of the mist. "Crafty bastard!" I cried into the fog.

"Look I'm just going to pay for the damages and leave. Your tribe of homeless reprobates need to stop showing up whenever we get ten feet from out front door. I mean it's been a thousand years" He gestures to the mall around us. The shopping center his demonic spawn had looted in a frenzy of consumerism "Don't you think it's time we stopped playing good-guys and bad-guys and got real jobs?".

"My job-" I said, cut off by heavy breathing. It's hard to continuously roundhouse kick thin air for an extended period without getting super tired, that's the first thing they teach you at vampire hunting school "My job is to kill Vampires, even if there's only like four of you now".

"Alright" he said, becoming corpus and catching my foot. "Here's five hundred dollers. Get yourself some help" he bemoaned.

I threw it in his face "I don't want your blood money! I want the money the townspeople will pay me to spill your blood!"

"That's the exact definition of-" VanGray put his fingers to his temples and closed his eyes "I truely forgot how much of a headache you people could be." He took his leave in a scattering of bats.

And that's how once again I saved the day. No need to thank me.

There's a very similar story to this in one of Terry Pratchetts books.

Bullshit, this is Reddit. Have you seen some of the more... elusive subs? This is positively mild compared to what I'm sure is out there!

"We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril."

I stood shocked but quickly regained as I thought it was a tactic to catch me off guard. I’ve been purging these woods since I was old enough to walk. Surely they would know who was before them, my reputation went farther than the tree line.

But no they stood and noticing I wasn’t about move continued on. “Don’t worry this is new for me too” the vampire shifted to his other leg but held a firm gaze with his ruby red eyes.

“I infact need your specific help-“ “Don’t waste my time with a spun up story. You know who I am, what I do” I interrupted quickly. There’s no telling if a vampire is spinning a spell or distracting you for the shadows to pounce unsuspectingly.

“Yes, yes you’re a bane of my existence. Yet a babe to reality. You’re compelled to kill me and my kin here as duty demands. I would ask though you give me a common courtesy before falling my head” the leader tilted their head upward exposing their neck. Two holes still visible where their artery would be. If they were alive. “He won’t listen to you” one of the daughters whispered in a hiss. “They never listen- ahhhh uhhh!” Her sentence was cut short as the leader dropped his hand and she stuck to the earth.

I pulled my silver sword from its sheath and the light it caught from the moon beamed at the pack before me. They winced and covered their eyes while hissing at defiantly. “Oh please put that away, im not going to kill you and you’re not going to catch me if we ran. So uncivilized”

“No enough with the word play.” I spoke sternly prepared for a fight rushing towards them.

The vampire let out a sigh and released his daughter lifting his hand towards me and I froze. A simple but constricting spell using tangles of shadows around them to hold their opponent. I twisted my wrist and the reflection of moonlight revealed the strands that held me as they withered away. I spun my sword around and pulled to the left as the leader used this to rush forward and pull my sword from my hand. The smell of burnt dead flesh and the sound as he held it at his side staring down at me.

“There’s a cure.” He said blankly and powerful. He dropped the sword and looked at his hand as the burns glowed orange. Returning his gaze back to me he resumed “but you’re not going to like it”

“There is no cure. It’s why my family for the past 1000 years died hunting you and others like you. We would’ve found it by now. “

“Sasha come here” as he looked over his shoulder the brown haired daughter stood up with her eyes at the ground and slowly walked up to us. “Look at him and show him your humanity.” She glanced to the side and pulled her hood tightly slowly raising her eyes up to me through her ragged brown hair. Green eyes. “So you kidnapped a girl”

“Oh shut up boy” he snapped and picked up my sword again. His hand burning he swung it around fighting an imaginary foe. “It’s clear with your experience and my dance that you wouldn’t have stood a chance against me. This weapon, it burns but it would not harm me. We’ve long since evolved to handle light. This metal would not pierce me. Why do you think you’re the only one. Why did most of your family not live to see twenty? That’s why I need your help”

“What do I have to do with the cure.” He stopped swinging and walked back to me pulling his grey greasy hair back revealing the two holes. “It’s a bite. We’re all bitten. You know this. Vampires were humans once. Still are human, but tainted with a curse of insatiable blood lust. None of us like what we do. No one sees us in our darkest hour covered in blood standing over our victims. We ever wanted this. But you killed with out mercy to protect those around you. I am now doing the same.”

“Your blood” he finished. I stepped back “we tried that it didn’t work, we tried everything.”

“Yes I know you tortured and experimented on those you could capture. Using every mundane tool available to poke and slice desperately trying to find a fix.”

“So than how did YOU figure it out” I argued. “Sasha show him your wrist.” She pulled back her sleeve to reveal multiple bite marks. Than she pulled the other up revealing the same. “She was turned and returned. Because I wanted to make sure before I walked towards my death.” “How’d you do this without our.. my brother” “All is fair in love and war. You tortured and experimented on my brothers and sisters so I did the same. I’m not asking for forgiveness for me but life for my family”

“You don’t deserve this. I’ll kill us all here you won’t get a chance to use me!” I yelled in furious anger as flashbacks of my little brothers smile rushed through my head. “LIGHT OF SALVATION HEAR ME. PURGE THE SIN OF MY BODY. LET THE FLAMES OF FORGIVENESS CONSUME ME”

My eyes burst with flame as fire began to creep around my armor. But I felt a hand hit my forehead and push me down. As a language I never heard echoed over my chants. The flames disappeared and my eyes left burnt. “I figured you’d try that. “ as I felt cold steel down my forearm. Pain was no consequence to me or my family. We spent years in the basement of the chapel honing our bodies to attune with god. But I felt the blood and I felt the blade. As mouths clamped around the open wound. “You’re foolish beliefs lead you here. There was more humane ways to do this. But we deserve to not be slaughtered as gods sport no longer. Not when there is a way to fix this. He held me by my forehead as more and more cuts were made and more lips were felt on my skin. In a way I thought this was fair. I would die anyways and being the last they would win eventually. If my death ended then as well than I did what I set out to do. I smiled up at them not in defeat but a final stand against my enemy “ it’s finally over then” A laugh entered my ears.

Why would he laugh.

Maybe he was happy to finally die a human.

Maybe this sick game we’ve played for centuries had finally had its winner. “One final secret for the hero.” “What do you mean” I said. Moving my head side to side but only darkness no matter where I would perceive to look.

“You just made us resistant to light. Your blood is blessed with your god. Now we have it too. At the end you failed. But we are cured. We will be able to live amongst society yet again. But rule it in the shadows as we deserve. Enjoy your death little one. For it was you who gave us our greatest weapon.”

This was really creating! Is there part 2?

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man, you're fucking good. you've got very evocative prose but i think you're skewing a little too minimal. give me just a little something more to chew on when you throw out stuff like "whatever I saw my revolver saw first" and ON THE FLIPSIDE ease off on the physical descriptions.

describing how the character had to angle down to get a shot into the tunnel was just a little clumsy but when you're working metaphor you're fucking golden.

your style is very meta so focus on your slick ass voice and dense prose and let the reader fill in more of the "mechanics".

Hot diggity damn, you had fun with this prompt I see!

You summed it up nicely.

Well done writer, you had me completely absorbed. I wish there was more.

Ok, ok, ok, ok... But.. Do I understand right that I just read what is quite literally a stereotypical intro to vampire smut, laughed at the funny parts, enjoyed the action parts and honestly would buy a book of just this funny back and forth even without the smut part (Okay maybe even with the smut part, who knows, if it's written this well.)? Am I okay? Is the one who wrote this okay? How did this happen, we're better than this, is right? RIGHT?

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Top-notch writing! You have talent.

Rejection spurring competitiveness.

How….. Human.

It’s only a little bit perilous…

Thank you!

Thank you, that's very good feedback.

My ego wants to say it's a first draft / I was rushing / the sun was in my eyes -- but no, I totally get what you mean. I'll definitely think about that a bit more when I write.

good, cos i say it cos i wanna read more!

How dare you insult such masterful narrative by comparing it to that drivel

As the glow of the moon shined in her eyes as it reflected from my silver sword. I had been tasked with slaying this vampiress for attacking the village's livestock.

Her cold, unwavering gaze struck mine as equal. We were ready to kill one another, but for some strange reason, she fled! It was a chase on foot. Even though I was merely human, I could keep up after decades of training. The woods were running thinner and thinner until we ended up facing a castle that expanded farther than I could see. From a window leapt a shadowed figure and landed infront of me.

"I'm guessing you are her sister", I exclaimed.

She smirked and answered; "Who might you be?"

"Constantine the Eastern, vampire hunter for sport, baker for a living!"

Before I could say another word, they froze in place they were frozen by... fear! Was I that well-known?! For a moment I was flattered, but then I realised, I felt a cold stare and I couldn't even tell where it was coming from.

In an instant I witnessed two vampiresses kneel before me, as I thought. A looming figure exited the mansion, a sharply dressed man, taller than any I have ever seen steadily approached us. Both the vampiresses turned their look to the ground, trembling with fear.

As I was preparing for the battle of my life, the huge vampire spoke; "I am really quite sorry for the trouble, could I help with your task, if I may know what it is?"

I was in shock, I didn't know what I could say in this situation, and I didn't need to speak yet, because He spoke again.

"Oh where are my manners excuse me for my rudeness, I am Jonathan, you may address me as John. In my understanding you are Constantine, right?"

I... fainted from shock, I had no option but to collapse, the first vampire is infront of me and he is... polite?

“I’m so sorry for the trouble…”

“What…”

“The massacre of your cattle is my daughters' doing. But as their father, I, too, had my part in the responsibility for not looking after them. We are all held accountable for the losses we have caused you.”

I'm thoroughly confused by the vampire's manners, and the way he spoke to me was unexpectedly polite. Wasn't he supposed to attack me? I never thought that nocturnal beasts are also capable of civil interactions without the need to draw blood first. Or was this a trap?

He then turns towards his children, “Girls, what have I taught you when you are out on a hunt?”, he asked them in a lowered but stern voice.

The eternal young girls bowed their heads in shame. Finally, the eldest spoke, “We must not all target the herds of a single farmer and attack all at once.”

“We are sorry for… killing your cows”, the middle peeped, daring not to look up from the ground, her bangs covering half her eyes.

“We were too hungry”, the youngest weakly protested, but as soon as she met her father's gaze, she zipped her mouth.

After hearing what his daughters had to say, the vampire turned back at me, “They killed ten dairy cows and four newborn calves from your farm. Each livestock is worth 80 to 100 coins.” Just as I was wondering how he could know the exact number of dead cows without siding a glance, the vampire raised a hand and summoned a heaving leather bag tinkling with pieces of metal inside.

He steps forwards to set the bag on the ground at a safe distance from me as if to not cause any fright.

“I hope this money covers all of the losses your farm had to endure from my daughters' mistake”, he told me, “I will make sure this incident will not happen again. My girls have learned their lesson, and I hope we can settle this once and for all. Thank you, and good night.” With a blink, they all vanished. I look up to see four bats spread their wings and fly away into the veil of the night.

I then tilted down and walked over to the leather bag the vampire put ahead of me moments ago, carefully untying and opening it. I knew there were indeed coins in it, but it still shocked me that the vampiric man was true to his words.

What a strange night.

Mall cop?

what's your subreddit

>Mission: Escape the old mansion
>
>Secondary mission: unmarried
>
>Difficulty: Hard

There, fixed it for you.

Don't have one.

This is wonderful! Thank you for posting it.

Boys drool girls rule

I request a bit more of this story

Yes

Bloody Misunderstanding

Ulaf's silver sword glinted as the torchlights flickered, disturbed by the sudden change in the room's atmosphere. Holy water dripped from the tip of his sword like a bead of golden mead, freshly prepared for what he had set out to do for nearly his entire life. Finally, would he face the cursed creature that has taken so much from him, finally, he would slay the bastard responsible for his beloved's death. The cost of his miserable life was a pittance to him; Ulaf would have his revenge.

The heavy double doors creaked as they opened, announcing the arrival of the familiar sounds of clacking heels on the marble floor. Ulaf stared as the ornate metal doors opened to darkness, where nine creatures divorced from the shadows within. Their skin was pale, like corpses drained of life. Eyes dyed a deep succulent rose red. And a beauty beyond imagination, forever outside the father of time's clutches. They were seductive creatures who gave pleasure and pain to those who were foolishly brave to walk the nights alone. The spawn of the impaler himself, lord Tepes, the accursed vampires.

The sound of leather squeaked as Ulaf tightened his grip on the hilt of his sword. His body tensed as he felt the rush of blood coursing through his trained body. The number of spawn he brought was unexpected, but Ulaf had no complaints. He said his goodbyes already; his death this night was assured, this he knew. But one thing he would accomplish at any cost is taking the head of the long raven hair man before him.

"I'm really quite sorry for the trouble, dear guest."

The raven hair man said as he gave a courteous bow to Ulaf. Prompting the eight women evenly flanked his sides to curtsy. Ulaf expected the vampire to laugh at him and call his efforts vain. Ulaf stifled his surprise and sniffed dismissively, casting disrespect upon the vampire's greeting. In return, the raven-haired man grinned, his pale lips ever so slightly.

"I care not for the greetings of creatures such as yourselves."

Ulaf spat, his words dipped in the simmering juices of his malice. The raven hair man sighed as if exhausted. How he did such a thing illuded Ulaf, for he knew these creatures could not breathe. They were, after all, the undead.

"Oh, dear god, not another one."

"You're boasting will not sway my actions tonight, vampire! However many you felled before me ends here!"

Ulaf yelled as he glared at the man who stood before him, his simmering rage overflowing within his body.

"Vampire?"

"You have no room to deny it! I've slain your kin on my way here, monster!"

"You what?!"

The raven-haired man exclaimed in shock, his jaw slacked and mouth gapped as he stared the Ulaf, who relished in delight below the stairs. Simultaneously, the women who stood aside the raven-haired man also cried out; their wails rang throughout the majestic room. Although Ulaf was glad this creature felt the pain of loss, he thought it strange that he would mourn his lower ilk. The vampire lord was notorious for his cruelty, yet this display bugged Ulaf.

"Do not try to trick me, vampire! You care naught for your kin but don't worry, I'll send you to the same place soon. I'll have my revenge for my beloved!"

"How could you, monster!"

"You vile demon!"

The women cried as they Insulted Ulaf, who stood waiting for the vampire lord to make its move. The women's blatant provocations mattered not to him. The vampire's brides are but a minor inconvenience.

"You're beloved?"

"You acknowledged it?! That you, Dracula, killed my beloved?!"

"Dracula? I am not Dracula, you fool!"

The raven hair man roared back to Ulaf.

"Lies, this is the manor of Vlad Dracula Tepes! I know this to be a fact, vampire!"

"Do not call me a Vampire! I am Alucard Tepes, a Dampyr!”

"More lies again? Enough, come at taste the blood of your kin on my blade!"

Ulaf prepared to charge but stopped when the vampire raised his hands.

"Stoooop, stop, right there, stop. There seems to be a grave misunderstanding here. Did you not receive the news from the church?!"

Ulaf knew of no news. The church was filled with religious fools who did nothing but pray to their god whilst tragedy befell them. Ulaf did not need to hear anything from people like that, even when his friend urged him to join him for a sudden gathering before leaving the capital.

"Your face tells me you don't know, then. Dracula is dead. I killed him myself. His head was sent to the church weeks ago."

"Enough! If he was dead, how are you alive? His kin should have died along with him! Yet I find you creatures drinking the blood of your victims out of bowls and cups as if you're human!"

Ulaf spat again, unwilling to allow the vampire to continue spouting lies.

"Vampires are extinct, you fool! As I said, we are Dampyr!"

"It doesn't change the fact that your kin killed and drank the blood of the innocent!"

"Again, you're incorrect. Those poor fellows are not my kin; they are Upir! What is it the westerners call it? Pilgrim vegetarians?"

"Pilgrim Vegataerians?"

"Yes, while Dampyr is half vampire, we are also half human. We eat human food as well as blood. Upir are even less so; they are three forths human and part vampire! They do indeed drink blood, yet it of only animals!"

"Y-you lie."

Ulaf faltered as he struggled to keep up with the Dampyr's explanations.

"Let me ask you, did they attack you?"

"Of course!"

"Then, was it only after you attacked them?"

"Y-yes, they~."

Ulaf faltered again, his memory hazy as he tried to recall what had happened during his encounter. The upir's settled near fires in order to escape the cold, but it seemed to Ulaf that they were trying to pass as humans. They warmed and drank blood as if they were having tea. Ulaf knew the smell of blood, he could never forget it, so when he noticed what they were, he sprang into action and cleaved them all in two.

"You're face tells me all I need to know, human. You murdered them based on your ignorant preconceptions, and now you seek to come here and do the same to my daughters and me. While I pity the loss of your beloved, I cannot allow you to hurt my family! Here, you are the monster you claim us to be."

Ulaf stared at the man, now for the first time noticing he stood in front of his daughters protectively. He saw the fear in their eyes as they stared back at him, his sword, and the blood-stained clothes.

Twilight is ok

I cant wait for someone to link 6 numbers and refuse to elaborate xD

> Your tribe of homeless reprobates

that one cracked me up.

You have a promising career as a romance author.