Me weapon flailed from hand to hand. Two sticks connected by chains.

"Are those, Nunchucks?" Count VanGray asked, puzzled.

"Yeah! The thinking man's whip!" I said, florishing my deadly weapons.

"Look my daughter's are young and they get out of hand sometimes. Pardon did you say whip? Youre not a-" he was cut off, as I kicked him in the solar plexus, the vampire's third weakness. "Oh hell!" he said falling over.

"Hell is right, you fucked up and they called me! The last of the Merlon family line, vampire hunters extraodinaire!" I tried to kick him again but he turned into fog.

"Ugh, you know you're all the last of your line. Have you tried exogamy? It does wonders" VanGray said as I tried to beat up the misty form he had taken.

"I'm going to whip the shit out of you!" I said, and that wasn't working out, because of the mist. "Crafty bastard!" I cried into the fog.

"Look I'm just going to pay for the damages and leave. Your tribe of homeless reprobates need to stop showing up whenever we get ten feet from out front door. I mean it's been a thousand years" He gestures to the mall around us. The shopping center his demonic spawn had looted in a frenzy of consumerism "Don't you think it's time we stopped playing good-guys and bad-guys and got real jobs?".

"My job-" I said, cut off by heavy breathing. It's hard to continuously roundhouse kick thin air for an extended period without getting super tired, that's the first thing they teach you at vampire hunting school "My job is to kill Vampires, even if there's only like four of you now".

"Alright" he said, becoming corpus and catching my foot. "Here's five hundred dollers. Get yourself some help" he bemoaned.

I threw it in his face "I don't want your blood money! I want the money the townspeople will pay me to spill your blood!"

"That's the exact definition of-" VanGray put his fingers to his temples and closed his eyes "I truely forgot how much of a headache you people could be." He took his leave in a scattering of bats.

And that's how once again I saved the day. No need to thank me.