f---thezodiac t1_jdo1mq8 wrote on March 25, 2023 at 9:11 PM

Ooh, I hope you don’t mind me giving multiple prompts, I love mythology

Hades giving a presentation to a mortal about how modern depictions of the Greek gods are absolutely terrible.

Thor gets super angry when Loki spills the tea about him “marrying an ice giant”.

Charon (Greek) explaining to new souls that Hades is VERY upset during the spring and summer

not_quite_graceful OP t1_jdoyd87 wrote on March 26, 2023 at 1:20 AM

(I’ll do one per comment. And I’m starting with my absolute favorite that you posted, the third.)

“So. . . the god of death. . . is lovesick.”

Charon had to fight the urge to strangle this woman. Her tone was so freaking condescending, Charon (“of the infinite patience”, as his boss liked to call him) was on his last nerve.

And he didn’t even have nerves anymore!

“Lord Hades is the god of the dead, Ms. Karen, not the god of death itself,” he explained for the umpteenth time. “And yes. For half the year, Lord Hades is pinning for his lover, in Olympus.”

Karen raised an eyebrow. “And this effects me how?”

Charon of the infinite patience was about to punch a mortal woman’s soul in the face.

“It effects you,” he explained slowly, “because Lord Hades has a very short temper for people like you. People with your attitude, you self-centered cow. Now, get through the gate to Asphodel before I throw you to the depths of Tartarus myself.

“Go. Now.”