Mad Scientist (pouring doubleshots of Bacardi 151): "He's not an alcoholic, I made him that way because I need a drinking buddy because if you drink alone you're an alcoholic but we drink together so we're not alcoholics. And also I hate your face."

Robot: "Fuck your judgements pal.  We're hard livers with hard livers."  *belches flames*

Narrator: "Okay, cool, but why does your robot also shoot heroin?"

Mad Scientist: "Because his band is having creative differences and not everything he does is my idea.  This little bitch became self-aware after like, what, six shots?"

Robot: "Existence is pain."

Narrator: "Fair point.  Pass that bottle."

Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

Reminders:

>* No AI-generated reponses 🤖 >* Stories 100 words+. Poems 30+ but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* [RF] and [SP] for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

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Hi u/Jam-Man1, this submission has been removed.

Simple Question / Simple Answer: You asked a simple question and you're likely to get a simple answer. Responses must be at least 100 words. Prompts should encourage a story or poem.

When prompts ask questions, we get responses that just respond with answers instead of actual stories.

• This was removed based on the comments it's likely to attract, specifically via Rule 1

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This action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things.