I have worked at the Hell House for 22 years. Sounds scary doesn’t it... It terrifies me, I have spent half my life working here.

Hell House is a fun fair attraction at Happy Land Park. In it’s hey day it was a belter, with brand new animatronics and a whole cast of actors. Now the Day-Glo paint is flaking off in great big chunks and the only actors left are me, Peter and Patsy a 40 a day habit ex-glamour model.

I am the vampire. My costume has not exactly stood the test of time. You could say my body has outgrown the garb somewhat. My stomach protrudes over the belt of my black trousers and the buttons on my red waistcoat are straining. My hair is not what it once was, I have a bald spot where once was a mop of curly brown hair.

Since Julie left me, I do not have much and stay in a caravan on the grounds of the fun fair.

Today we have a bus load of kids coming in on a school trip. I am not the best with kids to be honest, the youth of today are unruly and have no respect.

12.30pm comes and the kids have exhausted the other attractions and the last one on their list is Hell House.

I stand at my appointed spot behind the coffin suspended from the ceiling. I am meant to jump out and shout “I want to suck your blood”. The tracks rattle as the cart containing the teenagers makes it way.

I hear a crash and see Patsy stumbling towards me. She is dressed in her usual nurse’s uniform, as the assistant to the animatronic crazy doctor. I notice some thing is off, she has fake blood spattered across her throat. “You have gone all out today, Patsy!” I shout to her. She tries to reply but all I can hear are wet gurgles. Patsy falls at my feet. I notice this is no sfx make up. Her throat has been slashed, the blood spurts in an arc onto my trousers. Patsy’s nicotine-stained fingers claw desperately at her throat to try and stem the flow of blood but there is no stopping it. Her breathing sounds like she is blowing bubbles under water, then it stops and her head drops. Her bleach blond hair falls across her face, it looks as if she has dyed some parts crimson.

I scream and scrabble away from Patsy’s body. Patsy’s stage was the one before mine, that means whoever did this must be coming my way and will kill me too. I do not want to die in a crumbling old fake haunted house.

I have to get out of here. I turn to run towards the safety of the lit-up sign of freedom, when I pause. The voices of the children still in their carriage carries to me over the creaking of hydraulics.

I cannot leave the children here, can I? There is a murderer...but Julie always said I was good for nothing so maybe I should just mind my own business.

“Oh, for effs sake” I whisper and go in search of the kids. I climb over the terrain of cardboard werewolves and under some real and artificial cobwebs. The children’s car is in front of me. There is a man in an overall, armed with an axe. I curse my bad luck, I have no weapon, no way out so I scream for the kids to run.

I see them escape just before the axe splits my head in two.

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