I never understood the fascination over soylent green.

Most people go ga-ga over it, but I have always found it suspicious. A plant-based alternative to meat? If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Not to mention the place always gives me the heebies. Call it instinct.

Most of my friends and family have tried the food there already, but they haven’t been able to persuade me. Unlike the sheeple, I do my own research. And I believe the commie liberals in the government are in on a vast conspiracy to turn us all vegan, so that we turn docile.

It was my son who finally persuaded me to try out Longpig’s diner, atleast for research so that I can expose them on my blog (unfortunately all the social media platforms have banned me; and the judge threw out my case on what is clearly an unconstitutional violation of my first amendment rights). I now sit waiting for my plate of soylent green, while secretly broadcasting to my friends. If I go missing, know this: the lizard people are programming us to become vegan so that we all turn into sheep!

Well that was delicious! Tasted almost like bacon, but better! And I was definitely not turned into a vegan! I was able to enjoy my steak (rare) for dinner just a while back!

Will definitely recommend this place on the blog! Looks like this is one place the government doesn’t have its hands on!