N'gzaaark blinked and stared at the Old God through the portal.

"Ten." he said. "The Hero is ten. Fucking. Years. Old.

The Old God grimaced as They gave a confirming nod.

"Yes." They said.

N'gzaaark took a deep breath, held it for a moment as he clamped down on his temper, and then exhaled slowly.

"And you want me to let him win, after he has stormed my keep, which is in the middle of the Endless Plains of Agony." he asked, getting another confirming nod from the Old God.

"Who's idea was this? " N'gzaaark asked.

The Old God pinched the bridge of Their nose. "Deplh the Wise.".

N'gzaaark's left eye twitched.

"I see." he said. "Alright. I'll let the Hero 'win'. But Delph is mine."

The Old God nodded. "Understood." They said before closing the portal.

N'gzaaark took a few minutes to formulate a plan before summoning his aide.

"Yes, your Maliciousness?" his aide, Della the Succubus asked.

"The Hero is coming, and he is only ten." N'gzaaark began. "I'm going to need everyone in on this plan, and if anyone fuck's this up, I'll hand them over to the Old God."

Della gulped in fear at the mention of the Old God and Their implacable wrath.

"Here's the plan: the Hero is going to 'heroically' brave the Plains of Agony...."

I sigh and put down the scroll.

Time to get ready.

This is the most fulfilling, but also the heart-rendering part of my job.

The kid who turns up in a bit doesn’t look a day older than 7, although I know he is 10. His frail body can barely hold up his oversized bald head.

Also, he is dressed in the most ridiculously colourful attire ever.

“Come out, Demolisher!” he shouts, with a confidence only little kids have.

I step out, dressed in my best.

“Prepare to meet your doom, hero! Tell me your name, so that I can put it next to your skull in the hall of the vanquished!” I thunder.

“I am called Aggo-prefect, and I will subjugate you and rid the world of your evil!” responds the little boy.

I take to the sky, sending out bolts of energy at the boy while taking care not to actually hit him.

The boy dodges (or thinks he does), and fires back at me with his nerf gun.

I pull the darts towards me using tractor waves (at this range they would never even come close to me otherwise), and make a show of dodging them.

This goes on for a while.

Finally, when the boy is down to his last few darts, I let one of them hit me.

I make a show of flailing about while I fall to the ground.

“Curses on you, Aggo-prefect! Not even the Gods can defeat the Demolisher!”

The little boy walks upto me, with great effort. He says, softly: “But I have defeated you.”

He takes out a pink coloured plastic lightsaber, a cheap thing, and pokes me in my ribs.

I stop moving and close my eyes.

Six weeks later, I receive a letter.

“Mr. Demolisher,

Jason passed away peacefully in his sleep last night. For the last six weeks, he couldn’t shut up how he was a superhero who defeated The Demolisher!

We couldn’t thank you and the Make-a-wish foundation enough for bringing such joy to our little boy in his last days.

Gordon and Bella”

I sigh. I have been lying low since the encounter with Jason, with no public appearances. All so that Jason can really believe he has defeated a supervillain.

I get up to make myself some coffee and get ready to make a public appearance. Maybe today I’ll rob a bank.

Being a supervillain does not come cheap.

When the charming, doe-eyed little boy in the cardboard armor approached the holy god, pumping one fist in the air and raising his toy sword triumphantly with his other hand, Dominicus found it hard to resist inviting the boy into one of his nearest guilds.

"I'm a hero! Do you know where the bad guys are?" piped the little boy.

Dominicus nodded and hoisted the boy on his shoulder, carrying him past the gilded doors of gold. He dropped the boy onto the carpet in his office and his secretary Glenda wheeled two chairs in for them to sit. He snapped his fingers twice and Glenda brought him a list of contacts.

"Nezirich? That boring lich already refused me once. Retired for millennia, he insists. At least I got a forbidden tome out of that visit." Dominicus frowned.

"Would you like to consider the Demon King Voragus?" Glenda offered.

Voragus it is. It was time he called in that favor when he had chosen to spare Voragus' life so he could live to see his daughter grow up.

"Greetings Voragus. This is Dominicus the Holy Blade, God-hero of the Holy Inquisition. I have a hero who wishes for the chance to vanquish evil..."

"Do I get to crush your hero like a bug?" asked Voragus over the line.

In the Holy Inquisition's office, the wannabe boy-hero had spun around so many times on the swivel chair he was emitting unhappy dizzy noises before he fell down with a loud thud. Glenda activated the on-hold music to cover for the noises, trying her best to hide from Voragus that there was a child in the room.

"Oh ho ho, is the Holy Blade of the Inquisition now babysitting?" Voragus let out a boisterous laugh.

"Look, the hero coming after you is 10, can you just play along and let him win?" Dominicus could already imagine the massive eye rolls Voragus must be doing right now. On all 12 of his eyes.

"No can do, Nicky. I have a reputation to maintain. I refuse to throw a fight with a dinky little 10-year-old kid. What will my minions ever think of me? Fuck off, I ain't playing games with your kid. Pick an older, sensible hero or something and I might reconsider."

"Mind your language, Demon King, I have the kid just nearby within an earshot. He just needs an illusion of winning. We can do it in neutral ground, a location where none of your minions can see you lose. I'll arrange something and my secretary will keep you posted with further details."

Glenda presented a proposal she quickly drafted while her god was on the phone when he hung up. Dominicus sighed and signed it off.

So it was agreed upon by all parties. The boy hero would barge into the church, the doors would open on cue for him, and he would run up to the Demon King Voragus, who stood upon the stage, defiling the church altar with his evil energies. All while two gods observed from the upper balcony of the church.

With a snap of the holy god's fingers, a bright light shone from the toy sword, blinding Voragus as he tried to dodge-roll out of the way, flattening several church pews in the process.

"You will be footing the bill for any damages to my church, won't you?" Elvari asked as he slid a plate of papal cakes toward Dominicus with a tentacle.

He clenched his fists and nodded solemnly, refusing to touch his cup of tea on the balcony's edge.

"Dominicus, I did not poison the tea. It is safe to drink."

Never trust an eldritch, Dominicus told himself. Especially one who has a million-dollar bounty he himself had placed. "Ironic", came a low whisper that invaded his mind. "You trusted me to provide the venue, did you not?"

"Do not mock me, eldritch horror. My monster slayers once successfully dismembered you and left your soul drifting in limbo for many years until your head priest revived you."

The boy kicked high in the air a few meters away from Voragus, who did an exaggerated backflip and flopped down to the ground dramatically, his heavy mass leaving branching cracks on the floor and shattering several floor tiles. Voragus picked himself up and did a running headbutt, only to miss by a mile and ram into a pillar, which creaked and cracked, before collapsing on the Demon King. There he lay on the floor helpless, "dizzy and winded" from the collision as the boy hero slowly approached his target.

"This is going to cost you." Elvari narrowed his eyes and Dominicus averted his gaze from the extensive damage that was taking place below the balcony. "You could have just asked me! I can play this game without breaking a sweat! Or any furniture. Voragus doesn't like losing to a kid, and he's clearly venting his frustrations on my furniture."

Dominicus took a deep breath and gulped. He couldn't argue at all.

As the freshly victorious boy-hero stood over the "fallen" Demon King and cheered, Dominicus groaned as Elvari gleefully swiped the former's credit card and keyed in an exorbitant amount that was going to take the Holy Inquisition years to recoup.

“You seek for me to merely, let a hero win?” I sighed, crossing my arms as my assistant sorted through the excess documents I had on another desk. Additional immigration documents from the Lust sector are requesting additional salary to take out unsatisfactory customers so I currently have my hands tied.

“That’s right” spoke a female voice from the other side. “I had spoken about the prophecy about the hero after all, they should be arriving soon. You will thusly, need to be ‘vanquished’ in accordance to follow the plan. You know like usual protocol”

The voice was from the Goddess Sophia, my wife. Even now, it was still an unprecedented marriage. A demon lord and a god, usually on opposite ends of the spectrum, now uniting together in hands. Though that is not really something I care about. I love her dearly, and she does to me too. That’s enough for me. Our own private quarters in our respective abodes links together to a private domain in limbo, so we may hold each other to our hearts’ content without having to spend time visiting each other.

Why do we not stay with each other? Aside from the world’s perspective seeing us as different, it’s also because we run…a business to be exact. I’m the great demon lord, some of the humans have named me The Morning Star. Sophia, my wife, is known as The Goddess, she told me some people have called her The Graceful Mother. As the heads of our pantheon, each of our pantheons have long since accepted our marriage. But now arises a new problem.

Previously our economies hinged upon warfare. Using humans and lesser demons as proxies, we gained our currency through winning the heads of minds. The more people who live lavishly under the realm of desire, the more power and currency we demons get. The more people who abides by virtue, the more power and currency the gods get. So my wife and I proposed a plan. The Hero plan. Instead of simply waging war, we have single proxies instead. Every 100 years, “The Graceful Mother” will announce a prophecy that “The Great Demon Lord” has resurrected and would thus need a “Hero” to vanquish them. She will then select the strongest Hero candidate, who also represents the holy virtues, to fight on behalf of the humans to “kill” me. The gods get paid through the people’s faith in the hero, and the demons get paid in spreading the Seven Deadly Sins throughout the land a few years prior to the prophecy announcement. And for about 1000 years now the plan has proceeded without a hitch.

However this year, there lies a problem.

“Dear, you know I have no problem in letting the hero win occasionally, you know I love theatrics” I pursed my lips as I looked at the map on the wall beside me, with the border cities crossed out as placed taken on the hero’s campaign. “The problem is the hero you’ve chosen seem to represent more as a person who’d ally with the demons than a hero”

“Well yes, they’re the best I could find” the voice, albeit regrettably, admitted.

“That’s the best?!” I shouted, startling both my wife and my assistant. “Ah, sorry, I didn’t mean to shout dear”

“No no, I understand, I’m equally as shocked as you are.” Sophia agreed, seemingly sighing over the call. “Raping conquered townsfolk, forcing them to convert to the religion if they had their own gods……it’s as though they completely forgot what it means to be a person of faith”

“If the best of humanity is like that, I don’t want to know what it’s like for the rest of humanity. Or the good people who are forced to lived under them”

“……” My wife stayed silent. “My love, do you think we should activate it?”

“You mean the drive for rebellion?” I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. “But that would essentially leave the demons completely free for a few decades, not to mention the impulse for rebellion is controlled by my hand as well, what would happen to the gods then?”

“My love, you have been slain so many times, yet you always came back, the same man I love all these time. It’s high time I suffered the brunt now.”

“But-“ I was hushed instantly.

“My love please” I could feel her gentle hands on my cheeks, as though she was here with me in my office. “You told me so many times that good and evil are but sides of a same coin, even if they flip, it doesn’t change what it means to be good and evil. Your people. The demons the humans have hated so much have noticeably helped so many of the lost who ran away from the kingdoms. I would be blind to not notice”

“But if you go through this-“

“I would be lauded as the demon instead. But I leave the decision to you.” She laughed, light heartedly. “I would gladly become a demon for you, if it means protecting the world you and I wanted to forge for everyone. I love you.”

She blew me a kiss, as she hung up.

I set the phone down, a magic apparatus that we worked on together so we can contact each other even at work. She asked me to let the hero win if possible, since their own evil tendencies will end up giving me more power than he has to even defeat me. But it also means letting someone like that stay a hero. If someone like that is a hero, who knows how bad the rest of humanity has become, or the how much of humanity has to suffer under people like them?

Yet if I do so, she……

I hesitated, before turning to my assistant. “Lilith”

She turned to me, setting the documents aside. “Yes my lord?”

“Call the 72 demons in” I adjusted my suit as I walked out. “I will be engaging the revolution”

…What? That was the only response The Scarlet said after hearing quite possibly the dumbest he ever heard of in his existence. Yura, The Lord of Light extended out his palm.

“So, Nix… do you accept our demands-

“Hold on, hold on,” he said. He took a deep inhale and a slow exhale through his nose. “You mean to convey… that you think SO lowly of me, that you’re willing to send a literal ten-year old to do your jobs for you AND have me be complacent in said jobs?”

“Whaaattt? No, what do you mean, Nix?” Said Yura trying to play this notion off, he was always so bad at playing things off. “I just want to extend an act of mercy upon you, we’ve been in this cycle of needless bloodshed and destruction for too long now, but you’re finally in a position where you cannot win! So as a sign of good faith, we are willing to spare your life if you so accept our terms.”

Nix raised an eyebrow at this clearly false notion.

“This is not about the kid at all, isn’t it?”

“Definitely not.” Yura replied quickly.

“Finally!” he thought, he was getting around the truth of this matter. The other gods around Yura looked at him perplexed and astonished, they thought that child was the one destined to slay The Scarlet God, but to see their leader directly state the opposite in such a rushed voice made them all turn heads.

“So then Yura.” Said Nix, “Why DID you ask for such an obvious stupid thing?”

Yura leaned back on his throne with his hand on his face and let out a deep sigh, whatever the genuine reason was clearly something of either deep regret or embarrassment to him, perhaps even both.

“Look… I won’t misconstrue this… my mother, Nyshandra, is coming to visit me here in a few years from now.” He said.

There was an audible gasp from the rest of the gods when this left Yura’s mouth, clearly this was a major shock to them as this was never mentioned to them before. Talanath, The Wind God, was the most appalled of them all and even in his drunken stupor was still comprehensive enough to know the true weight of Yura’s words.

“WHAT THE FCK DID YOU JUST SAY!?” shouted Talanath at Yura. “YOUR MOTHER IS COMING TO VISIT AND YOU TOLD FCKING NOBODY?!”

“I told Kyra to relay the message to everyone! Did you not get it?!” responded Yura.

Talanath looked at Kyra. Who was sleeping on his throne. As always.

“AGAIN, F*CKING NOBODY!”

“Wait, wait, wait…” frightfully stammered Listra,“Nyshandra is coming here? In three years?! Oh my goodness no. You still know what she did last time she was here, correct?”

“Of course I do, I’m not daft Listra! So imagine how she will react when she discovers the existence of that one!” Yura shouted while pointing at Nix. Calgarogo, The Smithing God was in a mixture of both shock and disappointment at the entire situation.

“…So you mean to tell me that the only reason we’re negotiating with The Lord of Demons to throw a fight against our chosen one is because your mother is visiting you?”

“Don’t you dare downplay the situation, Calgarogo! The last time she was here, she destroyed an entire continent because a mortal stepped on her favorite flower, keep in mind… this was the first time she ever saw said favorite flower. We’re STILL repairing that continent even today.” Said Yura, pointing out the last encounter with Nyshandra.

Yura was right, of course, but Calgarogo still felt like this whole situation was ridiculous in every feasible way, negotiating with their most hated enemy because Yura’s mother was visiting again.

“I understand that sir… but you’re her son right? Surely you can convince her to not destroy all we have built correct?”

“Convince? CONVINCE? Calgarogo, you try convincing an entity that is OLDER THAN TIME ITSELF, has ZERO sense of morality, AND can do literally anything to NOT do something. I may be her son but I am NOT in any position to either convince nor prevent her from doing something I dislike. She just doesn’t care!” Replied Yura.

Nyshandra, Lady of The Dark. Since before the existence of well… everything, only Darkness was around. No light, no time, no matter or space, just an ever permanent expanse of darkness made up everything, which means that she made up everything. Even after meeting the Primordial One in the void and giving birth to creation itself, Nyshandra still remains the only constant in the universe. Death will eventually overcome life, destruction will eventually triumph creation, and light will eventually burn out. Only she would remain as she has done multiple times over.

Nix heard many legends and stories about the “Night Lady”, how she would visit certain realms that interest and gave civilizations a great boon to further their lives, but since she was unbound by any and all laws or punishments, she would do anything she so desired and despite being mostly passive, she would alter or destroy anything that mildly irritated her as she did with that continent. Nix knew that his existence would undoubtedly irritate her but in this moment… he was too busy laughing at the bickering of the gods even care.

After awhile… the fighting ceased and the gods now had faces of either worry or anger towards Yura. The God of Light was now tired and looked at Nix once more.

“So… do you now accept my offer, Scarlet God?” He asked.

Nix had to gasp for air and pick himself off the floor to respond and after laughing, again, much to the annoyance of the gods, he calmed himself and gave his response. He wanted to jab at them a little more.

“No.” He said. “I instead have a counteroffer for you!”

“Oh really? What is your counteroffer Nix?” Tiredly replied Yura.

“This a simple one really. If I do lose to this kid, you gotta promise me that after 10 years have passed… I’m allowed to kill him in any way I do desire.”

"Ten. Years. Old." The Crimson Lord thought at his elevated chair, looking at his apprentices in shock, disbelief and a splash of pity. "Yes, Matsuta-sama.", one of them confirmed. "The Council and especially Ms. Violet asked us to relay their request, that you let the so-called hero BrightSaver2013...best you."

Union of Superpowered Beings knew him as Crimson Lord. Already regarded as a mostly harmless local villain from the past, now even the villain society wanted to make Jack Matsuta a mockery. "Well... Since Ms. Violet asks, we don't have much of a choice, do we?" His apprentices nodded in terror, Crimson Lord nodded back in anxiety. "We would sooner take on entirety of the Union than to draw ire of Ms. Violet, Matsuta-sama." One of the apprentices said. Matsuta formulated a plan and gave orders to his time displaced clan of assassins.

"Contact Mira to rent her robot army, modify the weapons to reduce their strength, paint my helmet in bright red and enclose it. Contact my accountant to finance a new secret dojo. Contact our PR to rebrand us, for the eternal shame in this is already unbearable for me. I will arrange other matters."

After orders were given, Crimson Lord gestured everyone to leave him alone. Then he opened a drawer near a library of books and pulled out a black, analog phone that looked like it was from 1940s. He called a Temporal Manipulator. "Mr. Silver Watch, I request another localized space-time displacement."

He’s just a child.

Can you please just let him win?

We will compensate you.

I picked my teeth with a femur and dislodged a canvas sneaker out of my molar. They’d made a compelling argument. I’d especially enjoyed the offer of them ceding the western temples to me. All those worshipers, all those sacrifices, all that sweet sweet adoration. The western lands were bountiful in the summer, people became complacent and less came to me with their offerings and pleading words. Even one summer as reigning deity in those temples and I would be set for decades.

A young hero with the experience to become a formidable foe to engage your sunset years.

Let the fellow cut his teeth on your sword, you will be doing him a favor.

Three summers with the western temples.

I’d sent them away without a formal answer. The small hero would be to me by his next afternoon. I had to admit to languishing in boredom for several eons now. One does get tired watching the same show year after year: they are born, they discover hormones, they freak out about retirement funds, they trade their souls to make the remainder of their lives comfortable. On and on it goes. A hero did provide a measure of entertainment.

I flossed out some over gelled hair from a canine.

God answers all prayers, just sometimes the answer is “no”. Same goes for demon gods.

Really they should force feed kids less sugary food. My own blood sugar was going to crash and the mighty demon king would need a mighty demon king nap.

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When I was first alerted to the plot unfolding in the mundane world, the villain trying to unmake both his world and mine, I was amused more than anything. These puny humans think of something every few centuries, don't they? It was then that my father came to me, informing me of the hero who had risen up to oppose this maniacal human. She was his chosen one, he said. The successor to the one he had chosen last time, and I had to admit, she looked very similar. This meant it was time for us, his children, to walk among humans once more as a showcase of her power. I was honestly looking forward to it. My body looks and feels so different in the mundane world. The different gravity does strange things to me.

When the foolish human trying to undo my father's creation in the temple ruins attempted to bring his plan to fruïtion, I was called forth by the Lake Guardians, who share the minds and hearts of humans, and I interfered. I tore open a portal in space and time and saw my siblings, shackled by a crimson chain. The same chain that was used last time something like this happened. It was a good effort, but not good enough. To his credit, the villain stood his ground and did not seem frightened by my shadowy appearance. He seemed to study me for a moment, but then proceeded to blather on about the Lake Guardians' "rash and foolish effort" to stop him.

"I, Cyrus," he proclaimed haughtily as I spread my claws to snatch him, "won't have any more interferererererere...!" I relished in his screams as I dragged him back to my realm.

I dropped the villain off on a desolate rock, and watched as he studied his new surroundings. I would love to have imprisoned him here, but my father had different ideas. In the distance, I saw that his chosen one had crossed over into my domain as well, guided by the Lake Guardians, and accompanied by a blonde-haired human who looked very similar to one who had attempted to abuse my power a few centuries ago. I waited patiently, lurking in the ever-present shadow of my realm, observing this human child progress downwards through it, towards the villain. As they met, I couldn't help but overhear their conversation.

"It abandoned me here, then disappeared somewhere farther down... Was it content to merely interfere with my plan...?" the villain spoke, before addressing my father's chosen, "Incidentally, do you understand the concept of genes?"

"I do!" she said, and I could sense that she spoke the truth. What a precocious child!

"...If it's true, you've impressed me," the villain spoke, "genes can be considered the blueprints of all life-forms, and are contained in a DNA strand. A DNA strand consists of 2 chains of opposing characteristics in a spiral. If one of the chains were to be broken, the other could replicate it. One or the other cannot exist without its opposite. Do you understand where I am going with this? This world is the opposite of our world-- our world I wish to change. It is like the two chains composing the strand of DNA. The two worlds must be balancing each other to remain in existence."

I chuckled. How incomplete the human understanding of my father's creation was! Their conversation petered out quickly, however, as both the villain and my father's chosen sent out the monsters they had tamed. Looking into the heart of the hero's team, I could sense their trust and loyalty to her. Before long, the villain was defeated, leaving but one loose end to tie up.

As the hero approached the ledge of the desolate rock, I rose from the shadows, appearing before her in my full glory, ready to do battle. Instead, she hurled a small, purple orb at me. I could sense that it was an intricate machine, and it would certainly be enough to capture and contain any of my father's creations, but as it tried to do the same to me, I immediately felt how inadequate its design was. I could have smashed it to bits with the least amount of effort. I could have atomized it with but a thought. I could have altered the natural laws of my realm and caused it to fly off into the distance, never to be seen again. But I let it contain me. It was going to be fun, being this kid's Pokémon for a while. As I sat inside of this new kind of Pokéball, I reached out and tore a hole through time and space again, a small one to let these humans back to their world.

"Giratina seems to have understood us!" the blonde-haired human spoke. Of course I did. These silly humans do something like this every few centuries, don't they?