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[EU] HARRY POTTER

Diary of [minister of magic 2026],

Day 318

The Canadian Magical Government Authority reached out recently regarding our ability to handle a 'cascade Veil/Mist failure scenario.' Paranoid as always, why should we worry about that? Still, they have made significant progress in the workings of complex spells, so I'll tolerate their useless efforts for now. At least it doesn't affect us.

Took the entire day, too, I was supposed to go to shopping at four!

Day 319

The CMGA clarified by stating that such an event is in progress and that we needed to activate our contingencies. I told them to go away, we know they'll share their progress anyway. No need for disturbances like that. Their representative freaked and left immediately.

I had a great tea meeting with Mithra, so that was good.

Day 320

Romania went under, got busted by Muggle authorities. 'special operations soldiers,' whatever that means. So the CMGA wasn't wrong, but I still don't know what 'cascade' means. They said that they were about to reveal themselves to Muggle governments. Go ahead, not like it affects us. God, why have they suddenly become the topic of the past few days?

In other news, I signed a new bylaw preventing people from wearing their cloaks inside out a weddings. Ridiculous that I had to do that to stop Cratus from doing it, but whatever.

Day 321

HOLY F*CK I KNOW WHAT CASCADE MEANS!!! HOLY FREAKING SH*T!!!

Day 321-2

So, a Muggle military team broke into the Office and arrested everyone there. People who didn't comply got hit by these things called 'guns,' basically injury wands. I have no idea how the Muggles discovered magic like that, it didn't show up on our radars. I managed to apparate away before they crammed me into one of their prison cars, but apparently they are aware of mages across the globe now.

Day 322

I called the Ministry Of Magic to war, only to find similar 'raids' had occurred across the country. Their cars are fast and silent, running on 'electricity;' They have flycraft! And so, so much more. The CMGA was right.

Speaking of, the CMGA got away scott-free, and was simply put under watch by the Canadian government. Their paranoia paid off, though given the number of long-held secrets and other elements of society falling apart, I suspect they knew this was going to happen. I wish I payed attention to their speeches.

Day 323

Our location was raided last night. We all ran, most of our number were captured. Around fourteen million wizards have been arrested, and another one million killed after they attempted to retaliate against soldiers.

The Muggles now have 'Portable Reality Anchors,' which essentially prevents magic in a certain location. This is getting worse and worse.

Day 324

There is nowhere left to hide, I have been running for ages now.

Day 324-2

Got caught. Well, turned myself in. I'm too tired to see straight, just wanted to write this down before going in....

Day 326

Was put in a muggle medical center for my injuries, I had sprained my ankle, apparently I had stage three cancer as well? Whatever that means, they have a treatment plan for it. Muggle society is so weird.

Besides that, Muggle prisons are stone cells with windows. Good to know, bad to find out the hard way. I got to keep my journal and a couple other things, but my want got confiscated.

Day 327

A muggle prison for wizards as a good place to drive everyone insane. We were each shown a 'video' on Muggle society. Apparently, it was a primer designed for 'aliens,' whatever those are, 'in case they found them,' but these guys have just as many contingencies as the CMGA! No wonder they intergrated their governments. Apparently, it saved 'Canada' a whole lot of paperwork as well, at least that much I understand.

In other news, we got reports that the Orks and Fey had teamed up against the Muggles. It did not go well. For our side. Those guns are more effective than wands!

Day 328

Radiation treatment for my cancer today, they had some other fancy word for it but I forget it. I don't understand a word the doctors said, and apparently even muggles struggle to get a grasp as well. Either way, I feel horrible, but they say rather feel horrible than feel dead. I suspect that the 'cancer' is fake, but it's not like I have a choice.

The CMGA is trying to scramble enough wizards to become lawyers faster enough to begin sorting through muggle court backlog regarding us magic folk from lack of representatives. The muggles won't let their own lawyers represent us because the societal differences are too large. So here I stay.

Day 329

The last of Fey resistance got crushed. Muggles have also taken Hogsmeade permanently after enough trouble there, they just built a military base next to the town.

I'm bored. Mithra isn't here to entertain me, why did this have to happen.

Day 331

Got my CMGA layer today, apparently my case takes less precedence than sorting out the Ministry's, of which I led. Makes sense. So, we, and every other magical government except the CMGA were charged with:

• Tax fraud over [highest penalty]
• Tax evasion
• Failure to pay taxes [highest penalty]
• Fraud
• Identity fraud
• Theft
• Identity theft
• Murder (come on, Voldemort, really?)

The list goes on. I swear, I hate lawyers. At least in the Ministry I didn't have to deal with that kind of thing!

Day 332

No defense, just plead guilty. Well. I saw that coming from ages away anyway. We're going to appeal to the murder, torture, crimes against humanity sapients (they renamed it), and the worst ones, but anything paperwork, time, or material related is done for.

Well. I doubt Harry Potter is going to help us get out of this one.

Goddammit, why did this go like this?

Nice, thanks for writing

Kneeling at the first step of the throne, the captain of her rangers made report, and the star set upon the brow of the queen dimmed in the twilight that spilled across the court.

Captain Teguin was old, made of birch and rawhide and grit. As she spoke, she unwound the braid that held her ash-white hair. "Yes," she said, "they move at breakneck speeds across flat land. Our lands are hilly, so this is not why we should fear them." Into the silence, the leather of her quiver creaked.

"Yes, their arrows fly faster even than sound. But they are louder than shouts, and ours are quieter than whispers. When they come to our wood, it is our arrows that shall triumph over theirs."

And now the old captain turned her face to the ground. "No, it is this that we must fear about our human foes: their magics always work."

Confusion played across the faces of the assembled magi, the druids of the Circle, the generals of the Host of War. The queen gazed down at the ranger with a troubled look. "Their art is reliable? This is truly what to fear from them?"

"Yes, my queen, it is." Teguin scraped the dust from her face. "I'll say it more strongly: their magics always work no matter who uses them."

And suddenly, one of the Priests of the Moon understood, and his jaw fell in horror. Teguin turned to him and nodded grimly.

"You see," she said, "this 'math' and these 'guns' are descriptions and tricks of pure dead matter. They portray and manipulate the raw and lifeless stuff of the earth and cause it to act uncharacteristically, but at its essence, it is as simple and natural as a rockslide. That is what their 'guns' are: a tiny wildfire causing a tiny avalanche to fall within a fragment of a fragment of a moment."

"Which means," she continued, sadness weighting her words, "that even the most foolish, most base, most inept or evil or misguided amongst them can uproot forests or crack mountains asunder. They have condensed the knowledge of ancients and put it into the hands of children, of beings who are children until their short lives end. Their 'bombs' can bring down whole castles, yet not one of them will live longer than the time it takes for a single hearth-tree to grow. They commune with no spirits, heed no gods, take favor from no eternal thing. All that they are is contained in their own heads, and thus power is the only hymn they can sing."

The Elf-Queen's face had fallen from sadness to shock, and from shock to despair. "What may we do, in the face of such monstrosity?" she begged.

"This, and this only," said Teguin, and she took up her bow. "We flee. I will lead us beyond the Green Doors and into the wilds of our ancestors, into that land that is not a land but a dream."

The queen looked at her in dismay. "You propose we lose ourselves in a maze of endless mists, filled with the elder magics that once preyed upon mortals."

"I do," said Teguin. "For against this foe there is no victory, They will always be too many, too cunning, and too impetuous to share a world with us for long."

"And what of that world?" asked the Chief Druid. "When we go, the Green Doors will close behind us, and all that renews the earth will fail."

"They will," said Teguin. "And thus this world will begin to wither. The humans will cut down the mother trees, not knowing what they do, and the vast web of life that sustains them will start to fray. I believe that in a mere ten generations of elves, they will destroy the very ground they walk upon, and then their starving ashes will join the rest."

The Chief Druid's eyes fell. "We condemn the earth to save ourselves," he said.

"The earth was condemned once the humans learned that they could make caravans to cross the deserts by promising wealth that did not yet exist," said Teguin. "Their histories are clear: the great engine that drives them is the eternal promise of more and better in the future. They are unwilling to give what they have to one another, and so may only be bribed to share with promises of even greater wealth yet to come. They leverage the future against the past, and so, like ivy on a tree, they will grow until they suck all the air from the world and choke to death the very wood that holds them aloft."

"Come, then," said the queen, and as she rose, the war-host rose with her. "Our time in these woods has ended. We will go through the gates into the wilds of the Dream, together with our spirits and our gods and our eternal friends, and leave these humans to their self-made ends."

And so it happened that Teguin was the last hand upon the Green Doors, once all the host of elven-kind had passed into the dream-lands, where things and their opposites are one. It may have been that, once the doors closed and their sylvan light extinguished, some few humans felt the spark of the untamed wilds finally gutter and die. But, untutored children that they were, they knew not what it meant and simply wandered onward into the garden of their neverending, ever-growing desires.

r/EntelecheianLogbook

Layers -> lawyers (twice)

They can probably eventually appeal that, based on incompetent counsel. I can see one of these where a world class Johnny Cochran type takes it on on appeal.

Since wizard locations are distinct from muggle locations, there was no jurisdiction for the muggle government in the magical realm, so taxes would only be due on wealth repatriated to muggle Canada.

They really would have been far better off negotiating as a sovereign entity for establishing diplomatic ties.

But that would have required non-idiots in charge, and this is JKR-land.

Layers -> Lawyers fixed.

Well, the thing is nobody got permits to start mining the UK for gold for their coins. That's enough fraud and paperwork failures right there to throw the entire UK magical government in jail.

Now, there are magical people taking trains and doing whatever with counterfeit muggle money, etc.

Also, since when have countries just given their land to secret societies that break the laws of physics?

Loved this, thank you for writing. It was a great read.

Thanks much! Glad you enjoyed!