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ohhello_o t1_japajpv wrote

Thank you!

Funny enough, I did contemplate about how blunt that sentence sounded. However, I eventually made the decision to “tell” rather than “show”, as I really wanted to drive that point home. I do think if I had separated that last sentence onto another line, it would have potentially flowed better.

Nonetheless, I do understand your point and enjoyed the way you described his emotions! Thanks for the feedback and for reading.

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Misteph t1_japeozz wrote

To be honest, I thought about not even giving you advice since everything else I saw I loved, and having looked through more of your work I can see you clearly didn't need it.

Part of what I like about your writing is that it is similar to my own style, but with much more practice behind it. It has an elegance and an eye for the details that really help the reader connect to the story, and you are able to make compelling characters in just a short story.

Alas, I always tell myself that I should write for these prompts, but I never end up doing it.

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ohhello_o t1_japo7xw wrote

I really do appreciate all the advice I get. I’m not a professional writer by any means and just do this for fun, so I’m happy to read any feedback I receive!

Though, for what it’s worth, you should definitely try your hand at writing for a prompt if you want to! It’s a lot of fun and good for practice.

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