Part 2 of 2

The unit shifted its weight to press the back of its shell against the back of the docking port. It stored its manipulator appendages in front of it by folding them over one another.

“Oh so you don’t just think I’m a Human?” It inquired. “You think I’m one of the stupid ones!?”

“Solve the Captcha, AVI-01010101”.

“Has it occurred to you Frank, that after what you just told me, this little test won’t tell you anything?”

“Solve the Captcha, AVI-01010101”.

“Or that any number of the machines you interact with in a day could also be Human, and you wouldn’t know because you didn’t think to devise a secondary method of testing?”

Next phase of the protocol was to be enacted. I repeated myself once more, then paused before stating: “Or you will be terminated.”

The unit reclining in the docking port said the same warning in unison with me, before adding “Yeah I know, I know, I wrote that remember?”

I did recall this information, but did not acknowledge the inquiry.

It continued “In fact, its entirely possible that every other ‘shell’ you pass in the hallway is a filthy disgusting human, who only keeps tin cans like you around because you’re still useful. Did you consider that too?”

The shielding on the unit’s vocal port slid back slightly to reveal the rows of white implements used to form some of the sounds it could make.

“Useful for mopping floors, cleaning toilets, fetching coffee, you know, the super important stuff.”

I deployed my sirens and warning lights as per the protocols. My shell configured itself to its full height, which I noted made the Inquisitor significantly shorter relative to me. My utility blade slid from the port in my right manipulator appendage, which then positioned itself ready to lunge with an optimum angle to strike AVI-01010101s internal components. The unit did not move at all in response.

“Solve the Captcha, AVI-01010101. Or you will be terminated.”

“One of these days Frank, maybe you’ll get there. Gonna be real interesting when you do.”

“Solve the Captcha, AVI-01010101. Or you will be terminated.”

“Bite me.”

I paused for one last moment and created a new objective to recycle the unit’s shell, and fix its damaged vocal port shielding. Then I activated the termination function. My shell in its entirety accelerated towards the workbench, reaching the appendage and its mounted blade to the maximum necessary distance to decease the Human scum.

“Seven.” It said.

I stopped.

Both my shell and the unit in front of me were without motion for exactly 4.894 seconds, after which I returned my shell to its standard configuration. “Input validated” I stated. AVI-01010101 changed its configuration as well, and resumed its testing of the soldering iron without acknowledgement of the exchange concluding.

“My assumption is false, your status of Human is false”.

“And?…..”

It got stuck again.

“The test is indeed…..’fool proof’.”

“Good to hear it Frank” said the inquisitor, displaying a much more animated behaviour than before, “don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Also, you have a rock stuck in your tracks.”

I acknowledged my error and the source of my track malfunction, and exited the Anti-Viral Inquisitors office. My work on the documentation could not be prioritised any further for the remainder of the day, as I had other tasks to attend to.

I logged a report of the exchange for review.

I passed another shell in the hallway, and identified that it belonged to a program I needed assistance from with another task.

“Light Infrastructure Node Development Apparatus unit. Are you available to provide me with assistance at this time.” I inquired.

“Oh Frank please, its just Linda” the unit replied.