“Mike, thank you for sharing. I want you to follow Mike’s lead and spend this week writing in your journals about one positive thing that has happened each of the 7 days. It can be something as simple as getting a good night’s…or good morning’s rest, to something major like starting to accept who you are. Next week we will share one positive thing with the group. We need to try and push out the negatives like Mike. Be like Mike. Mike has spent three years with us, and each time, he would introduce himself as a “bi-clops” but today, he finally had the courage to see that he is a Cyclops, despite him having two eyes,” I told everyone.

Some of them nodded.

“But Dr. Rose…,” Gary shyly said.

“Oh, I would like to apologize. I’m sorry to Gary and others who may be incorporeal and unable to physically lift up a writing tool to write something down. I need to be more inclusive in my wording and the way I speak. You can ask a friend or someone to write it down for you, or if you don’t want to share something personal, just be sure to remember it. Repeat it three times to yourself in the morning, afternoon and night so it really sticks in your head…er…in your thoughts.”

“We have time for one more speaker. Do any of our new participants want to share for the first time?”

Ashley slowly raised her hand.

“Yes, Ashley?”

“I would…like to talk about my situation,” she said.

“Okay, first introduce yourself, tell us a little about yourself, then open up as much, or as little, as you want.”

“Okay. My name is Ashley of the Baltic Sea. as you can see, I’m a mermaid,” she said. Her tail lifted up and splashed down in the pool we set up for her.

“Hello Ashley,” the group all said in unison.

“This is my…fifth or sixth week coming here, but my first time talking. I know some people are talking and wondering what my whole issue is and it is embarrassing to talk about and…”

“Ashley, I’m going to jump in right now and say everyone here has felt that way once upon a time. But I assure you, while there may be some natural curiosity about who you are, it comes from a positive place, one where people want to help you instead of ridicule you,” I told her.

“I…I can’t swim,” she said. She winced, anticipating laughter or shock or something. But the group was silent.

After a moment of bracing for the worst and not getting the reaction she thought, she opened up a little bit more.

“Mermaids are like birds, in a way. We have to learn how to swim. We leave our little caves and jump in the current and try to swim…but the times I did it, I just couldn’t do it. I would flop my fin back and forth but I wouldn’t go anywhere. I had to be rescued several times by my siblings, all of which are younger than me. Each time they would take me back to the cave and I’d sit there. And I’ve sat there for sixteen years now. I can’t swim. I know other mermaids talk about me. I know they laugh and I’m an embarrassment to my family. And I wish I could swim. But I just can’t…” she said.

She waited for someone to speak up and jump in with their own trauma, but again, the group was silent.

“My dad used to tell me he can’t wait to go out for our first swim, and I was so excited whenever we talked about it. He never pushed me, nor did my mom, they told me when it is time, it is time. So when I began to swim a little on my own in the little cave we lived in, I thought it would be just a matter of days before I’m in the big ocean with my dad and family and friends. But days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and months turned into 16 years. I’ve been stuck in that damn cave for 16 years. I tried, I really did. I tried every day. I still do sometimes, when no one is around. But it just…it just doesn’t work for me,” she continued.

“I don’t know what is wrong with me. Am I broken? Am I a defect?” she said, tears now welling up in her eyes. “Why me? What did I do? I just want to swim with my dad. I just want him to be happy. I know he is embarrassed that I’m never at family gatherings or functions. I know he is embarrassed when he introduces his five children, then has to explain where the sixth one, his oldest, is. I don’t want to be like this. But I just don’t know what is happening or why I can’t swim. I’d give anything to be out there in the ocean with them. I know my mom wanted to see me date and get married and start a family of my own. Who wants to get married to a defect? Who wants to get married to a mermaid who can’t swim?” her tone was getting angrier and louder.

“Ashley, I want to stop you right there. You are as you are. You are not a defect. You aren’t broken. I know it is a huge ask of me, but I want you to stop referring to yourself as one. And your feelings are normal. Everyone here, every single one, has felt the same thing you felt one time or another. Everyone here felt out of place. Everyone here felt like they didn’t belong. But slowly, we realize we are the ones that put up the walls that separated us because of the way we think. You are still a mermaid. We have a lot to work on, a lot of trauma to unpack, and I want to have a few private sessions with you in the meantime. I think you made a tremendous breakthrough today. But this is the first step in a long and difficult journey. But we are here with you,” I said.

She nodded and patted her eyes dry. “Thank you Dr. Rose.”

“Thank you Ashley for sharing,” I said. “It looks like we are out of time. But I just want to let you know we will be saying goodbye to Hector tomorrow. He isn’t here with us, he went back to his family to tell them the good news, but we will have a going away party tomorrow for him. When Hector came to us, he was a lost gnome who had really bad allergies and couldn’t stand, literally, in a garden. But! We worked with him and while we weren’t able to solve his allergies, we did find a place where Hector can live a full and happy life. He is going to intern and possibly become a gargoyle! So that’s big exciting news for him. Instead of standing guard in a garden, he will be high up in the clouds on top of the largest buildings in the world. Hopefully he’s not scared of heights,” I said, jokingly.

The group laughed a little. “And in his place, we will have a new face. My sheet tells me her name is Sonya and she's a harpy," I said.