Drake: Okay, come on guys let's do this! Brian: hey man, I don't know if this is a good idea, besides this is like a huge scientific discovery, we should, you know, maybe preserve a vampire. Drake: shut up Brian! you don't know what you're talking about, do you want me to take away your Tesla? I mean kind of, I really can't afford it. Drake: whatever, just take the camera. Brian: fine. By the way, how did she even find out about Dracula? oh, so you know that Nigerian prince that was going to get me Rich? Brian: yeah. Drake: well when I was going to that Alleyway to meet him there was other people in the alleyway, it turns out it was like a whole secret market area and one guy was selling an ancient map so you know your boy had to buy it! Brian: you don't have money though. Drake: oh I stole your money. Brian: of course you did. Drake: what!? it's not like it could help you pay to keep care of your Tesla. Brian: Jesus, man. Drake: but anyway, I followed the map into the forest and found a little bolder, moved out of the way and there is a secret stairway to Dracula's cave! Brian: what if he's just like a guy that lives in the woods, underground, like that would explain the pale skin you know? Drake: shut up! first you say "Drake those kids are just anemic, don't stab them through the heart with a stake" and now this! Brian: whatever just buy me Cheetos after this. God, I want a fucking Cheeto so bad! Drake: ooh did you get sponsored by Cheetos? Brian: what? No, I'm allowed to like stuff without it being a sponsor, man. Drake: lame. okay here's the place, let's sneak down the stairs. Brian: hey, I'm starting to feel like this is just breaking and entering. Drake: what? but we didn't break anything. I just pushed a boulder. Brian: fair enough. Oh damn, this place is fancy looking. Drake: quiet, he's right there. Okay he left for the bathroom. look he has his food out. Brian: should I start recording? Drake: yeah, yeah, hurry. WHAT'S UP GUYS!!!? Brian: whoa dude, shouldn't you be whispering? he's going to hear you. Drake: what!? this is my whispering voice. Brian: we're so fucked. Drake: anyways, WHAT'S UP GUYS!!? TODAY WE'RE GOING TO BE PULLING A CRAZY PRANK WHERE WE'RE GOING TO BE PUTTING GARLIC IN THE REAL DRACULA'S AT 3:00 a.m. SUSSY AMONG US FOOD IN REAL LIFE!!! MAKE SURE TO SMASH THAT SUBSCRIBE BUTTON AND BUY MY MERCH SO I CAN MAKE MONEY BECAUSE I'M ADDICTED TO BUYING MY OWN MERCH!!!! Brian you got anything to add? Brian: well I'm pretty sure the reason why people think garlic harms Dracula is because back in the day you it be used as medicine. Drake: wait? so he's just allergic to Medicine? Brian: yeah I'm pretty sure some cough syrup would have had the same effect. Drake: oh man, the garlic was more expensive than cough syrup! I didn't have to waste all your money. I mean you didn't have to waste it regardless but whatever. Drake: oh quick hide he's coming back! Dracula eats food Boo get wrecked, you just got pranked bitch! Dracula: what the!? oh my God! you really give me a heart attack! what are you doing in my- oh God, did you put Garlic in my food!? Drake: hell yeah! Dracula: why would you do that!? Drake: because you're Dracula! Drake: I haven't done anything you fool! I'm the last of my kind- oh my I'm dying! Brian: dude, I think we should call an ambulance. Drake: what!? No! I'm going to get arrested and then I'll have to make an apology video! Brian: I don't think that's going to be the worst of your problems. Drake: but then how am I going to make money to buy my own merch! Brian: I don't know man, but that isn't important! Drake: how dare you say my merch is important! Dracula: please shut up! you're talking is torture, put more garlic in my mouth and put me out of my misery, I can't stand you are talking! Brian: Jesus. Drake: okay bitch, here! Pours garlic and his mouth Dracula: gggggaaallluuuuuuuaahhhgge!!~ dies Drake: well at least we can do "Burying Dead Body Challenge" video. Besides, the guy was anti-medicine, probably an anti-vaxxer. Brian: dude I don't think that's how it works, pretty sure he's just a allergic to Medicine. Drake: well we got to get something positive out of this. Brian: so what's the moral of the story here? Drake: don't put Garlic in random people's food. Brian: yeah, I was kind of telling you that from the beginning. Drake: great we got a moral :D

John’s anxiously peering through the curtains of the Shady Oaks motel, sweat dripping from his brow, frantically scanning their surroundings.

-“I can’t believe you dragged me into this”- said Chris as he sat on the bed, rocking back and forth trying to calm down. -“what is even the point to all of this John?!, they’re going to catch us any minute now”

-“Fuck, Chris, stop being like that, they’re going to realise that it was nothing more than a prank and all of this will blow over, I promise”

John barely has a moment to finish his sentence when the door comes down in an explosive flash, the room fills with smoke, revealing multiple figures that encompass the room.

-“Hands on your head. John Knocksville, Chris Pontius, you are under arrest for the murder of Vlad Smith. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say or do can be used…”

The sound of sirens drown out everything as our two suspects get apprehended, infinitely screaming: “How was I supposed to know that Dracula is a registered citizen with rights? It was just a prank!!!”

Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

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>* No AI-generated reponses 🤖 >* Stories 100 words+. Poems 30+ but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* [RF] and [SP] for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

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"You motherfuckers!" Dracula screamed, pushing the table with enough force that it flew across the space, shattering against the wall. "It doesn't make any sense, I don't even appear on film!"

"Wonders of the digital age Draccy," Peyton said, adjusting their grip on the iPhone. The vampire was out of the chair and was a blur of darkness as he fled the room and entered the bathroom. Soon the sound of an immortal, retching, swearing between heaves in what might have been Old Turkish, echoed down the narrow hallway.

"It was bad enough," Dracula gasped, collecting himself as best he could, "when you ground up pieces of the Host. I was stuck in the bathroom for a week."

"Honestly, we thought garlic would be the lesser of two evils," Bill said, brushing an auburn strand away from his right eye (the green one). He mirrored the gesture less than a second later with the left eye (the blue one).

"You were wrong," the vampire moaned. Peyton winced, but kept their phone aimed at the door of the bathroom. Another stream of Old Turkish profanities came followed by the distinct sounds of a vampire curling into a small ball on cool tile flooring. "I'll have heartburn for a month."