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NextEstablishment856 t1_j9p7659 wrote

"Oh by George, he's dead. He's dead, isn't he? Oh, I killed him, oh Bant and Lung, I'm a killer. Oh, please, what do I do?"

"Nyugodt," Sinter called, gently strumming his mandolin. I could see the arcane energy reach out to calm the beast. It's breath slowed and it's muscles relaxed. Then it began sobbing.

"What are we looking at?" I asked Dorcas. She was a cleric, our healer. And right then, she was handling Kingsley's idiot corpse. The moron had rushed in, shouting, at the poor beast. It had tried to scramble up the wall and escape, but he caught its tail with his axe. Looked like a reflexive swipe that sent him flying across the cavern.

"Don't think there's an unbroken bone in his body. If I try to bring him back now, he'll be in pain, which he deserves, but he'll also probably die again, which makes it a waste. We had a plan, what was he doing?"

"No idea," I replied, knowing exactly what he was doing: being as big a prick as usual. "So we cart him back to the temple."

"You carrying him to the cart?"

"Hey, Sinter, you wanna—Oh COME ON! Where are your pants?"

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Zagreus7777 OP t1_j9p7ida wrote

Fantastic work! And also I assume the bard rolled a 20 lol

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jagdpanzer45 t1_j9pyi4z wrote

Bard: I rolled a 20 to seduce the dragon.

DM: Good, now roll a con save.

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Zagreus7777 OP t1_j9q2wqm wrote

As a DM myself; Yes

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MarsupialMisanthrope t1_j9qlcm8 wrote

It’s a male dragon. He’s a top. Better ask the wizard for a polymorph.

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Zagreus7777 OP t1_j9qqnkv wrote

Nah, just have 'em roll a life saving throw every few turns lmao

And add a permanent -2 do dex throws

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Starwatcher4116 t1_j9rjp4y wrote

This is why one of my bards is happily married, and the other is far too insane to even consider this.

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BadDragonBottom t1_j9twzl7 wrote

According to this research site N!S!F!W! that bard could be in for a really good time. So long (ahem) as he doesn't mind a good stretching, some of those dragons are kind of big.

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prisp t1_j9whqtv wrote

And here I thought it was going to be either this (marked NSFW primarily for implications) or that S(?)lay the dragon comic that I can't find right now.

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VictheQuest t1_j9pyk2j wrote

Sinter come one! Not the time or the place!

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NextEstablishment856 t1_j9q0hld wrote

Sinter: There's a dragon, here and now. What better time and place is there?

Dorcas, poking Kingsley's eye: I mean, he's not wrong.

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Yuriy116 t1_j9py1fp wrote

>"You carrying him to the cart?"

"But I don't want to go on the cart!"

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