Submitted by OldBayJ t3_113bpzd in WritingPrompts
Not_theScrumPolice t1_j99z0ll wrote
Reply to comment by ruraljurorlibrarian in [OT] Poetry Corner: Fire! by OldBayJ
Hi ruraljurorlibrarian,
I really like the imagery of this piece. The words flow very nicely and create a sense of peace somehow, if that makes sense.
A little nitpick:
>each awake when tomatoes bloom
I found I lost my immersions with this sentence at the word 'tomatoes'. Might just be me missing it's meaning but for me, it broke the vibe of the poem.
My favorite sentence:
>each season a funeral procession
I find this sentence to be really powerful and an excellent ending to your poem.
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