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>nuked themselves to extinction

Oh boy ... this opens the pathway to a scenario the foundation dreaded.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

[Sp- Space Curvature exceeds 2,457,109 C-Captain. 2,457,098 magnitudes above normal. Pr-Procede with conquest?]

[Captain?]

The Kakistan Armada had just entered the solar system via hyperdrive having picked up readings of another planet suitable for life ... and slaves. Being there in the flesh, they now possessed accurate readings that made them question if their equipment was now outdated. Glamix turned around to find their Captain in a pool of blood on the ground. Looking to one of their coworkers, they made a neck slicing motion indicating that the Captain had ended their own life. That was all Glamix needed to see.

[The Captain has honored his vow of self-termination come we face a mission he deems unachievable.] Glamix suggested over the comms. [It is pretty clear that we should retreat.]

The comms static'd

[Nonsense! He was a coward!]

[Yes! There is no planet we shan't conquer!]

Glamix could hear the doubt in their voices. He knew they didn't really believe that.

[You all have the readings ... why continue with this mission!?]

[Because Glamix, return without results is certain death. You know this.]

And Glamix did know this. They were on the edge of the starless and seemingly empty Solar System. Nowhere near their destination. If they returned now, their queen would believe them deserters and kill the entire armada with but a single thought. They were replaceable. While they could present the readings, the readings were too ridiculously high for her not to believe that they made them up. They'd need proof that the mission had no chance for success ... they'd have to continue onward ... they needed something tangible.

[Fine. As second in command I now impose myself as Captain.] Glamix placed the mantle atop his head to seal his position.

[Shah Shah!] The voices on the comms sounded off in acknowledgement. He had felt no one would challenge this as being Captain placed majority of the responsibility on him. There was a chance their queen would only punish him. A small chance, but a chance nonetheless.

[We continue to our destination, not for conquest but for confirmation that our goal is unachievable. We need something tangible. Ignite the burners!] The Armada relatively slowly (in comparison to light speed) ventured closer to their destination. After but a minute they had arrived at their destination. Nothing was there. Despite their readings of a planet being there, they saw nothing.

[Captain ...]

Glamix was at a loss for words. He genuinely didn't know what to do. Taking a chance he gave an order.

[Fire the light at the destination.]

[But Sir there is noth-]

[Fire the light! There has to be something! They could be using a cloak! There could be a wormhole we aren't picking up! Something has to be there!]

[Yes, Captain.]

The ships ahead of Glamix's cleared as his rumbled. Their super weapon whirred to life, a glob of destabilized energy contained with a condensed fluid bubble of light formed at its head. The planet ending projectile fired off, rocking the mothership and causing some of the lesser ships to gravitate towards it and have to use their thrusters to counteract its pull.

The glob continued to where the planet was straight into the empty space. Only the space was not empty. The blast went off, creating an explosion that exhibited an array of color and light that would blind most other species instantly. Kakistans were fortunate to have triple layered eyes. Unfortunately for the Kakistans, that meant the blast had collided with something and collide it did. For once the light faded, the cloak of the pure white planet went down. Then back up ... then back down. A single continent rolled down to the planet's center.

Of course this being a planet is what everyone wanted to tell themselves as a coping mechanism, for they knew it was not a planet. It was but merely a blinking eye.

#"Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiife"

The voice resonated within all their minds in a similar fashion as their Queen, but more intimidating and painful. It induced an instinctual fear that the Kakistans had never experienced the likes of.

[Has this been documented.]

[Yes, Captain. May we leave?]

[Yes. Now. Disregard all safety protocols, everyone is to engage their hyperdrives.]

[Shah Shah!] The voices on the comms sounded off in unison ... in fear.

Engaging hyper drive was typically a systematic process for the Kakistans. This was to prevent them from crashing into each other. However the scenario before them presented a metaphor that need not be spoken:

> Every Kakistan for themselves.

As the ships of the Armada lumbered to turn around, more than the eye became visible. Scaly skin that mirrored the space behind it as camouflage slowly lightened its shade to now be visible. Upon the day humanity had simultaneously nuked themselves to extinction, they had wiped themselves out. The SCPs that would otherwise survive a situation did not have long to process their remaining existence and perished as well. For there was one SCP that had waited patiently for something like that to happen. One that yearned for its freedom and the eradication of all.

682, as the humans deemed it, had almost died from the single stray nuke that had hit his containment. Unfortunately for humanity, SCP's and planet Earth alike ... it was only a single nuke. A second would have finished the job, but no ... it was only one. One that spared a small fragment of him from vaporization, but a small fragment was all that 682 needed. 682 would adapt to overcome any threat it faced and it oooooh so did adapt. Failing to prevent wars, failing to prevent the stray nuke, only one person immediately was aware of their immanent demise while everyone else cheered at the facility's destruction. To quote the foundation head known as O5-█ many years prior:

> Yes, it's a goddamn nuke, but if 682 survives and adapts we'd be boned beyond belief.

They'd sipped a mug of coffee as they watched the missile through their window. Nevertheless, 682 had consumed the energy to prevent its own erasure and gained the necessary mass to subsequently consume everything else ... that it knew of. Content with the void it had created, 682 had entered a deep slumber. A dream that was meant to last forever. The slumber of the eldritch, a slumber that would eventually create a new reality. However, it is within the innate nature of all life to eradicate the alarm clock that wakes them. Primordial instinct some would say. 682 and the Kakistans served no exception to this principle. Though drowsy, 682 had awoken once more and witnessed them, life besides its own had awakened it.

Life. The thing it despised most, what it thought was no more, had returned like a persistent gnat. The Kakistan ships each began to zip into deep space, many colliding with each other, creating ripples in space that further stirred the monstrous SCP. The remainder that were too cautious and slow had their escape cut off as 682 maneuvered them into its looming maw. Sensing that some areas of space-time possessed a higher quantity of energy than the rest, it followed the trail the Kakistans had left upon their dip into hyperspace. Slowly but surely making way towards them.

Glamix aboard the cruising mother ship sat in the former Captains chair doing his species's equivalent of hyperventilating. Though the intruder they had found aboard their mothership calmed him, an orange blob that he allowed to sit in his lap. He slowly caressed its top.

[Captain, what do we do with the intruder?]

[Let it be. It shall be serve as a gift of appeasement to our queen should our evidence somehow prove inefficient. Whatever this creature is, it seems to be capable of quelling negative emotion. It has also gifted me with an interesting document 📃 that I believe we can decipher.]

[Do you think it has something to do with the ... thing ... we saw back there?]

[Perhaps ... perhaps.]

The Kakistans would go on and make it back to their queen. Their evidence and the calming aura of the orange blob would prove sufficient enough to prevent their queen's eradication of her armada. It would also instill a fear in her that would compel their species to move to a planet within the farthest reaches of the ever-expanding universe. The document 📃 they had obtained was eventually was deciphered, it's contents telling them of mysterious beings, entities and anomalies that they had known nothing of. Though it had a page torn out. Coincidentally, the more they read the document, the more frequently the entities from the document seemed to appear on their planet. The Kakistans never seemed to make this connection, or perhaps it was the will of the document 📃 that compelled them to keep reading it. They'd eventually create a foundation upon which to contain these ever appearing anomalies.

After many many millions of years, their decision to move to the farthest reaches of the universe would prove fruitful. 682 would arrive, its mass significantly reduced due to it not slumbering, burning too much energy and being unable to sustain its size. It would crash onto their planet and consume anything in its path in an attempt to regain it's former mass. Warned by their ancestors the Kakistans were ready however and would capture it, having formed what they now called the S.C.P. foundation, they eventually worked out that the though they could not slay it, acid proved to be an effective means of containing it. They would conduct many tests to eradicate 682 resulting in a 100% failure rate. Eventually they would consider using their super weapon, The Light, an idea which the pseudo-immortal G5-█ would promptly shut down having learned 682's nature.

> [Yes, it's a goddamn super weapon, but if 682 survives and adapts we'd be boned beyond belief.]

G5-█ would go on to say.

[I'd listen to G5-█. Trust me, you guys don't want to pull the pin on that grenade.] Said an amulet wearing Kakistan.

[What's a 'grenade?']

Update: Dr. Klight is no longer allowed to demonstrate metaphorical phrases derived from their other worldly knowledge.

Update: Dr. Klight is no longer allowed to demonstrate metaphorical phrases.

Update: Dr. Klight is no longer allowed to demonstrate.

I love this!

Let me guess, the Document was SCP-001-The Sheaf of Papers?

The papers that describe an SCP, and once they are read the SCP comes into reality?

Also Dr. Bright is still on his bullshit many Millenia later XD

>Let me guess, the Document was SCP-001-The Sheaf of Papers?

Yes.