"This is an outrage!" shouted the Belgalack senator through hefty shaking jowls. "This goes against all precedent!"

The four humans sat awkwardly in their seats, all in a row, in full view of the entire Galactic Parliament. Their admittance as a group hadn't been received well, as it flew in the face of the oldest council's most stringent tradition. Each species was allotted one senator to represent them whereas the humans had been allowed four. It was headline news across the galaxy and was the hottest story being followed. Cameras rolled and snapped as the humans exchanged glances.

Their names were Sanjay Singh, Li Chen, Klaus Jäger, and Charles Turner. All four of them had been collectively chosen by the human race in what had amounted to the first thing the entire world could come together on in all of human recorded history. For reasons the intergalactic community was about to understand, each one had been specifically chosen for the task.

"Why, I ask you," the senator asked, his eyestalks at full length and trembling with rage. "Are my people not allowed four senators? Do you think that's fair?"

The speaker moved to the mic, but one of the humans was quick to intercept the question. "Mr. Draupnaughtl," spoke Senator Chen. "Did I pronounce that correctly?"

"... You did," the senator grumbled.

"First of all, I'd just like to say that I find your people to be beautiful, kind, warm, and welcoming, and I'd be happy to address any concerns you may have about our admittedly puzzling appointment."

The senate hummed. The Belgalack senator's eyestalks noticeably receded– a sign that he felt at least a smidge of humility and shame.

"My name is Li Chen, and I am one of planet Earth's senators. I believe you'll find that among all of the many species present, our human intellect is far inferior in terms of problem-solving, communication, arithmetic, and policy understanding. We humans would not want to slow down your senate proceedings. We respect your time, and your status as the most important people in the known galaxy."

The Belgalack senator's eyes were hugging his face at this point. The many gathered species murmured and looked around at one another. Finally, the speaker leaned into her mic, "Thank you very much, Senator Chen. Senator Draupnaughtl, did he answer your question sufficiently?"

The slug-like creature leaned into his mic and answered softly. "... He did."

Senator Chen leaned back in his seat and smiled at his partners. "Appear weak when you are strong," he whispered.

"Sun Zu," Klaus responded with a smile.

"Well read, as expected, Senator Klaus," Chen bowed slightly in his chair.

"That was a non-answer!" came a voice from across the room. Everyone turned to find the Klkikuc senator standing in her seat. She looked like a blue lobster with larger eyes and her claws were in the air as she commanded attention to herself. "The senator from Glek-9 wasn't asking about timely proceedings. He was referring to your ability to tip the scales in your favor with four votes. You have quadruple the voting power than the rest of us have. Explain why that's fair."

The crowed yet again murmured. She had a point. Senator Chen had successfully answered the first question, but this one was more pointed. The speaker was quick to attempt to restore order, but Senator Singh was quicker.

"If I may," he glanced at the speaker, who gratefully nodded back. "Friends and family, my name is Sanjay Singh, and I am a senator representing my planet's best interests the same as all of you. So why should our planet be allowed four votes? That doesn't seem very fair, does it?" he asked, his eyes passing over the crowd. "But I think you'll find that four votes, when weighed against the collective weight of seven hundred votes is... Hmm, would somebody help me with that percentage?"

Singh smiled and Chen. The senator stifled a laugh.

"A little over half a percent," answered the speaker.

"Wow, they are terrible at arithmetic," said the Klikikuc senator, laughing and snapping his claws as everyone joined in to ridicule the humans. Singh bowed gratefully and took his seat next to Senator Turner.

"You dog," Turner smiled.

"Only following Chen's lead," he replied humbly.

The speaker pounded the gavel to restore order. The laughter died down and the humans had successfully made themselves a laughingstock. All four of them figured they'd persuaded the chamber when another rose to their mic. A mess of eyes and tentacles with no mouth of note took half the mic stand into its body before it spoke.

"I am Blbltipth, and I am the senator from Slthlthp. You are a meager people. But we Thplpips are cautious by nature. I think I speak for everyone when I say that the real fear, is that this will set a precedent. That any smaller or inferior nation may be allowed four representatives should instill fear into all of us, for what if they, the small, become the majority? What then of us? Would we bow to them should their interests align?"

Sensing a pattern, the speaker simply looked to the humans to find Senator Jäger standing in his seat. He leaned forward and tapped his mic twice before introducing himself. "You may all call me Senator Klaus," he smiled and waved. "I believe I may answer this question easily. Make for no other exceptions."

The room rumbled as everyone spoke among themselves. "Why make it difficult? Everything has an end. And a sausage has two! I have brought for you all something from my homeland."

At his cue, several silver platters began to be passed from one end of the chamber to the other, each with large bratwursts cut into segments, a toothpick in each one for easy consumption. "Please, my friends. Accept this gift from us on earth."

He took his seat as sounds of surprise and delight lifted from those who had tasted the kindness of the earthlings. It had become apparent in the chamber to everyone that the earthlings were little more than kind, humble, monkeys whom the galactic senate had little to fear from.

All but one.

"Hold on, hold on," spoke a more human-esque alien from the far end of the chamber. "There's no way you're this nice. No way you're this dim. You're playing us."

The three human senators looked to Charles Turner, who stood up and fielded the final question. "Excuse me, Senator?"

"You're lying!" he accused. "All four of you! You're not fooling me. I've seen footage of your world wars. You're all a bunch of savages."

The crowd murmured in disapproval. They'd come to rather like the humans, and the accusation felt too pointed.

"Mr. Eulyd," the speaker spoke sternly.

"Now, now," Turner interrupted. "I hear your worries. I honestly do. I have only one question to ask you... what world wars do you speak of?"

The alien's jaw fell open. "What world wa- the three of them!" he shouted incredulously.

"Hmm, nope, don't recall," Turner answered flatly.

"Yes you do," the alien looked around as though hoping for confirmation that he wasn't crazy. "There was genocide, a-and–"

"Nope, I have the documents. Fake news, you lose," Turner said before sitting down.

The alien simmered with rage. "Now, see here!" He continued speaking, but his mic had been cut. The speaker slammed her gavel and announced that the day would be moving forward without further comment as the enraged alien threw his hands around in the distance.

"Incredible," Singh whispered. "I can't believe how well that works."

Klaus grinned, "Only children and fools tell the truth, my freund."

"And that, dear Klaus," Turner said as he adjusted his suit by his lapels. "Is the only truth I need."

r/A15MinuteMythos