"No ma'am, you cannot let your children climb the Sunqueen's spines to the top."

"What? Why not!? We paid good coin to visit this place!"

"Besides the fact the spine may come loose and cause damage to the cactus, the fall may also cause damage to your son." I took a deep breath as the noblewoman in front of me made all manner of complaint, having long learned to tune such things out. I heard her threaten to take this all the way to the captain and I was so tempted to snap, 'Yes, please, I beg of you! See what you could possibly have me demoted to besides looking over an oversized shrub!'

"If that is what you wish ma'am, my captain is in the purple tent." I just managed to cut her off from starting another rant when she took a needed breath, and she harrumphed for dragging her kids away to said tent. I didn't bother tracking her with my eyes, instead turning my focus back on the massive cactus others were gathered around, taking shade in the great pads of the Sunqueen or even having small picnics underneath. I could see across the way Neju relaxing in the shade of the stables, the lucky humped bastard. I had to stand around listening to entitled nobles and merchants complain about not being allowed to touch or take or whatever the Dark they wanted to pretend mattered.

For Gods' sake I'd gone from a manse in the capital to a personal tent watching over a tourist attraction. No matter how the captain tried to doll it up as "guarding the site of the Sun Goddesses' greatest blessing," it was just standing around and stopping people from being idiotic, all because I knocked over a single potted plant in the temple. I took another breath and sighed as the scent of blooming fruit on the Sunqueen's edges hit my nose, filling me with calm. I suppose there were worse options... at least I'm not scheduled to muck out the stables tonight...