FMLA - Family MEDICAL Leave Act, and PFML - Paid Family MEDICAL Leave. Do you notice the M is for MEDICAL in these acronyms? I was a labor union president and had to address this issue frequently. The acronym can have slight variations from state to state, but the language is pretty cookie cutter.

Are you in a labor union? If you are, locate your CBA (Collective Bargaining Agreement) and read up on FMLA (PFML) requirements and see what the requirements are.

If you are not in a labor union, ask HR for a copy of your EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK. Read up on FMLA (PFML).

GOOGLE Family Medical Leave Act for Federal Guidelines, and specifically look for Spouse being deployed. Take that relevant information to your employer.

Off the top of my head, without looking up and refreshing my memory on FMLA:

• YOU would not be entitled to FMLA for a spouse reservist going to training for 3 weeks
• Your Spouse would be entitled to FMLA as a reservist and her employer would not be allowed to fire her or permanently replace her during her training periods
• you both would be required to make other childcare arrangements during her US based training activities, no FMLA needed
• FMLA only requires an employer to hold her job, it does not require her employer to pay her anything beyond accumulated vacation or PTO (Paid Time Off).
• 12 weeks is the maximum FMLA allows if it is a qualifying event, in any given year
• if your employer granted you 12 weeks for "childcare hardship," and your wife was killed while deployed, they legally are not required to grant you another 12 weeks for "death in the family" since you exhausted all available leave, so consider all scenarios when decision making.
• IF you had a SPECIAL NEEDS child who is "medically fragile," (leukemia, autoimmune disorder, type 1 diabetes, etc) you would qualify for FMLA to take time off from your employer, to care for the child while his/her Primary Caregiver is deployed and School is not in session. There would be some assumptions that you and your spouse would work with a social worker via your doctors office to line up qualified in home back up care so that all of his/her care needs are met during this time, should you become injured or ill (i.e. car accident, Covid, barbecue grill fire, etc.)

Have you researched all of your available options for adequate kid care? Does your or your spouses employer offer onsite kid care you can utilize? Have you asked their school about before and after school programs? Summer Programs? YMCA? Boys & Girls Club? Do you have a grandparent that can stay with you during the kids summer break and help with the kids while you are at work? These are legitimate questions I would ask an employee when counseling them on their options.

Employers need bodies to perform tasks. They offer incentives to perform these tasks, such as pay, vacation and sick leave. Some things they offer are because they value their employees, some are because the laws make them comply.

You are asking your employer to give you money so you can stay home and play with your kids. Now legally prove/debate why they should honor your request.

And I really want to hear back on how this turns out. You have piqued my curiosity. (I have 2kids in their 30's who were Active Duty Navy and both were deployed. Neither were married and neither have kids so this was never an issue or discussion at our dinner table)