Submitted by AmethystOrator t3_zgf3x6 in UpliftingNews
Comments
Miss_Speller t1_izgz2mu wrote
YukariYakum0 t1_izh1cxy wrote
Well now I want a baby rhino too.
PorkRindSalad t1_izhzujp wrote
No crocodiles
No rhinoceruses
WarriorSnek t1_izj3lc5 wrote
Iiiiiiiiiiiii WANT A HIPPOPOTAMUS FOR CHRISTMAS
stray1ight t1_izjs6kn wrote
I want a giant grey guy / about six feet high ...
jabba-du-hutt t1_izhtjsc wrote
I was gonna suggest someone get her a one horned baby goat. :)
turriferous t1_izjeb2y wrote
The bad news? HOA said unicorns are only allowed if they are beige and under 3 foot at the shoulder.
Polymersion t1_izky1s9 wrote
So, mutant goat
AmethystOrator OP t1_izgjris wrote
> Rules are rules. Animal control officials in Southern California have granted permission for a little girl to keep a unicorn at home, provided she follows strict guidelines.
> Los Angeles County Animal Care and Control this week shared a letter it received from a child named Madeline.
> The girl wrote: “Dear LA County, I would like your approval if I can have a unicorn in my backyard if I can find one. Please send me a letter in response.”
> Director Marcia Mayeda replied with a letter along with a pre-approved unicorn license, a heart-shape license tag and a plush toy unicorn — until Madeline finds a real one. Photos of the license and Madeline’s letter were posted to the agency’s social media.
> The licensing letter included five conditions:
> 1. The unicorn must be cared for in compliance with all animal caretaking regulations set forth in Los Angeles county Code Title 10.
> 2. The unicorn is given regular access to sunlight, moonbeams and rainbows.
> 3. The unicorn is fed one of its favorite treats — watermelon — at least once each week.
> 4. The unicorn’s horn must be maintained to be in good health. This requires polishing at least once a month with a soft cloth.
> 5. Any sparkles or glitter used on the unicorn must be nontoxic and biodegradable to ensure the unicorn’s good health.”
> Mayeda commended Madeline for her “sense of responsible pet ownership.”
janlaureys9 t1_izgjzns wrote
Feels like a PR stunt but it’s pretty adorable none the less.
Slevinkellevra710 t1_izgpsq4 wrote
Are you suggesting that unicorns don't exist? How dare you!
iiiBansheeiii t1_izic3l3 wrote
I think the implication is that Madeline doesn't exist. But I could be wrong.
3rdeyeopenwide t1_izijz64 wrote
Wow I didn’t expect a turn down that avenue of thought. I think it’s real. Public servants could be criticized for being poor stewards of tax dollars by making a unicorn license but they’ll be told to lighten up. If they concocted the entire girl and letter just to publicize their reply, it becomes scandalous.
masterpierround t1_izj3jkv wrote
There’s no way Madeline doesn’t exist. That would be way too risky. Most likely they get this type of letter a lot, and choose to publicize their response for a bit of good PR. More cynically, Madeline might have had a bit of help from her parents in crafting the letter.
SkyezOpen t1_izkcef7 wrote
>More cynically, Madeline might have had a bit of help from her parents in crafting the letter.
Could've been a lesson in reaching out to government officials. If Madeline has a question or concern in the future, she already knows to contact someone.
BaconSquared t1_izi0fcq wrote
I'm down for true feel good no negatives pr
BackwardPalindrome t1_izigoue wrote
The idea that there's something wrong with doing a sweet, good thing because it gives a company or government good publicity sucks. I understand many governments whitewash, but I just wanna feel uplifted every now and then.
Aether_Breeze t1_izj4nfk wrote
I mean they 100% knew it would be good PR for them, but the little girl doesn't know or care about that and it will no doubt have made her day/week/year.
Same way many people give to charity in order to make themselves feel good...but as long as that money is helping people what does it matter.
Asymptote_X t1_izjsef2 wrote
>Feels like a PR stunt
Lol what else would it be?
hexiron t1_izkwpwh wrote
A genuinely nice act. Animal Control and Department of Fish and Wildlife are generally really kind people that care about their jobs, not politics like other government departments.
[deleted] t1_izirur7 wrote
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Erinalope t1_izk15f2 wrote
“California” “RAINbow”, wow way to set this girl up for failure. Only thing rarer in Cali than a unicorn. \s
[deleted] t1_izgukdx wrote
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doihaveto9 t1_izj8kau wrote
What's a moonbeam?
Rick_the_Rose t1_izkmry2 wrote
A silvery beam of pale light shines down in a 5-foot radius, 40-foot-high Cylinder centered on a point within range. Until the spell ends, dim light fills the Cylinder.
When a creature enters the spell's area for the first time on a turn or starts its turn there, it is engulfed in ghostly flames that cause searing pain, and it must make a Constitution saving throw. It takes 2d10 radiant damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.
[deleted] t1_izkesuq wrote
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DancingYetiCrab t1_izjwwt8 wrote
Animal control doesn't get to determine what animals are allowed in CA. That falls to the CA Department of Fish and Wildlife. A cute story nonetheless. Good job LA animal control.
Todd-The-Wraith t1_izkerab wrote
Let’s wait and see if CA DFW sends a cease and desist letter to animal control and a letter explaining to the child why her license is null and void.
shogi_x t1_izgs8ou wrote
Plot twist: the little girl becomes a biologist and genetically engineers a unicorn.
not_that_rick t1_izgtgpe wrote
That's a rhino in wig, she's not fooling me.
ZSpectre t1_izgwpo8 wrote
I remembered that once I learned about HOX genes in undergrad biology (genes that more or less determine where an appendage would be located), I wondered how feasible it would be to splice a narwhal's tooth genes onto a horse's forehead. If it would ever get that far, I could imagine there being a need for some trial and error to make sure the tooth/horn wouldn't get too big for the horse's neck to support the extra weight.
iLikeCatsOnPillows t1_izhwkba wrote
Probably easiest to just start with a cow though, stronger necks and already have horns.
djdefenda t1_izhympr wrote
Seems like it would be a lot harder for her to get a license for that?
Primordial_Snake t1_izii7te wrote
Why ? Anyone can own cows right?
[deleted] t1_izjd36f wrote
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jtnxdc01 t1_izjdk4y wrote
Definitely not a Giraffe.
EmilyU1F984 t1_izhyjpr wrote
Hox genes determine head to tail positioning of appendages, they are not responsible for front to back positioning in bilateral animals (us).
In short: taking an insect as an example: they determine which segments get which appendages (antennae legs pincers) but they don‘t determine where in that segment the appendage appear Rotationally.
Additionally why not just use Rhino horn genes on horses? Doesn‘t say unicorns have tooth based horns.
Also: the narwhal ‚horns‘ (horns actually) are just their canines turned to the front. Usually just one grows outside their head, but two happens as well.
To transpose just canines… from within the box that make up the whole mandibular structure… seems like it would be harder than just creating new life at this point.
Oh btw the Saola, is a deer with a single horn, that is most similar to how unicorns are portrayed in contemporary art.
Just grab one of those for your research.
quipcow t1_izid413 wrote
Never heard of a Saola before, but I just looked them up and they appear to have two horn's.
Not the best unicorn replacement IMHO
[deleted] t1_izh42rj wrote
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Molehunter2022 t1_izkp2h6 wrote
When I was working on my Masters we used HOX genes to make feathers grow out of a mouse’s eyeball. So yeah…
djdefenda t1_izhyksa wrote
Are CRISPR kits still legally available on Amazon for like $70?
Vakr_Skye t1_izgrnih wrote
Scotland's National Animal
pizzacatstattoos t1_izgvw0g wrote
They're Rampant you might say! i'll show myself out...
Adorable-Ad-3223 t1_izhz7aa wrote
... Reddit didnt have enough heraldry and vexillology jokes. Now it has 1 and it feels overburdened with them. Well done.
YukariYakum0 t1_izh1a6h wrote
Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland.
id2d t1_izgykif wrote
Which shows why these officials are fools!!!
It's not the national animal for sweet reasons.
They wanted an animal that was known to be so dangerous it would f*** up a lion - the national animal of England.
In ye-olde times they didn't think the Unicorn horn was for fun. Basically it was to murder everyone and thing it came across.
Gremlinintheengine t1_izhi3rd wrote
Ya it's a horse with a Sword on its head!
kouteki t1_izipmbl wrote
Since swordfish is a thing, I feel they dropped the ball when the chose the name unicorn
Sketti_n_butter t1_izizq6c wrote
Sword Horse
Primordial_Snake t1_iziick5 wrote
Once again modern storytelling misses the point and ignores the brutality of Ancien tales
Green-Cat t1_izl2l73 wrote
"The lion and the unicorn
Fought about the crown.
The lion beat the unicorn
All around the town."
Children's songs are brutal.
WarmAppleCobbler t1_izhagbz wrote
> Its five conditions for unicorn ownership also require that any sparkles or glitter sprinkled on the animal be nontoxic and biodegradable, and that it be fed watermelon at least once a week.
Ok so someone on that board REAAAAAALLY likes watermelons
SeigiNoTenshi t1_izhelot wrote
must be a watermelon farmer!
humaninthemoon t1_izku1tt wrote
Big Watermelon weaseling their way into prominence via unicorn ownership.
sunflowerastronaut t1_izhxm25 wrote
> a girl named Madeline, with a vivid imagination and remarkable awareness of how bureaucracy can dash dreams,
Lol
AsyncUhhWait t1_izid41g wrote
These fuckers are gonna ruin my fun before I even get to have any. Gonna need that in writing Big Brother!
Shawna_Love t1_izhfsud wrote
Is everybody ready for unicorns? Because this is how you get Unicorns.
luminous_beings t1_izh611u wrote
Yes! You go find your unicorn girl.
punchheribthetit t1_izibjx4 wrote
Has no one in this sub ever met a little girl? This is how it went down.
Little girl: “Mommy, can I have a unicorn?”
Mommy: “Hahaha, oh sweety, of course you can, if you can find one.”
Indulgently grinning Daddy: “Better ask the local government. They’re sticklers for that sort of thing.”
Little girl: “Thank you, mommy. Thank you, daddy. BT dubs, stay outta the garage until I hear back from Animal Control.”
JennLynnC80 t1_izgu6wb wrote
We have a leprechaun running around Crichton Alabama if she wants to get her one 😉😆
AlberGaming t1_izhzuwn wrote
It's all fun and games until she actually discovers one
MadeFromNews t1_izhkhx2 wrote
thinkfast1982 t1_izguzjj wrote
[deleted] t1_izhhm0f wrote
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Free_Deinonychus_Hug t1_izi7csn wrote
What is the subreddit?
Drakotrite t1_izlcz25 wrote
I can't tell if this is a joke, but the third member of a poly relationship is sometimes called a unicorn, and an undue amount of r/polyamory is about discussing unicorns. That's probably what they meant based on the structure of the comment.
Free_Deinonychus_Hug t1_izlsdyi wrote
Ahh, I know what that is but I just didn't make the connection.
I was imagining a group of lunatics hunting for unicorns like people hunt for Bigfoot.
TenDollarSteakAndEgg t1_izi2zpi wrote
rhinoceros unicornis
djdefenda t1_izhypwn wrote
I'm keen to see how this turns out as my actual lease agreement says I can have 1 unicorn and up to 2 dragons.
Cheeseknife07 t1_izik4f9 wrote
Thisis gonna be a dangerous legal precedent if unicorns are discovered!
cgtdream t1_iziu57s wrote
I can see this being the plot of some wacky 90s era show.
Little girl is walking down the street with mom, and sees a guy dressed up in a unicorn suit.
Says "hes mine" and the guy gets "comically arrested"
Fast forward to court, and the guy has no lawyer, but tries to defend himself with the ol "it's just a suit!" And takes off his helmet. He still looses the case, and is ordered to live with the family and can never take off his costume.
Family turns out to be rich and lives on a mansion, and now this guy goes around acting like a really miserable and disgruntled "unicorn"......but occasionally gives out great life advice to the members of the family.
All of this happens in the intro, to some upbeat music.
bibbidybobbidyboobs t1_izivx4l wrote
She definitely already had one hidden somewhere prior to this
dalnot t1_izjbsgm wrote
Meanwhile I can’t have chickens in my own goddamn backyard
SpaceManSmithy t1_izibauh wrote
Happy hunting!
Defected_J t1_izj28rs wrote
My daughter now has a rival.
YeshilPasha t1_izj30nn wrote
So what is the definition of a unicorn by law now?
DonBot95 t1_izjbkz5 wrote
Kyle told Cartman he would suck his balls if Cartman found a leprechaun and look how that turned out
DangerMacAwesome t1_izki6ls wrote
What a nice article!
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[deleted] t1_izhg6qq wrote
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IMeanIGuess3 t1_izhh0j0 wrote
Does a rhino count as a unicorn?
Dransvitry_De_Medici t1_izhq44l wrote
Isnt rhinos latin identification one horn?
Kendota_Tanassian t1_izjz16a wrote
Rhinoceros is basically "nose horn". Greek for "one horn" is monoceros, the Latin equivalent is unicorn.
The German equivalent of unicorn is "einhorn", the Mandarin Chinese version is Qilin.
The Indian Rhinoceros, or Greater One-Horned Rhinoceros, is indeed "rhinoceros unicorni".
If this girl finds an Indian rhino, she has permission to take it home now.
Speaking of India, Honda sells a motorcycle known as the Honda Unicorn there, so maybe she could take home a motorcycle.
bofh000 t1_izi8e2f wrote
Haven’t we learned anything about bringing into our lives species we’re not supposed to share germs with?
In any case the girl can join that lady who claimed ownership of the sun or some such kiddy stuff.
GrindsetMindset t1_iziaxif wrote
It’s a horse… one of man’s best companions
bofh000 t1_izib42u wrote
It’s probably carrying pixie coodies.
Libertyprime8397 t1_izihxhd wrote
Imagine the disappointment if she found a Pegasus instead and could keep it because it’s technically not a unicorn. That or she finds Voldemort drinking it.
BlackFoxx t1_izimndq wrote
So you're saying she can just have that rhino at the zoo? For free?
Thistlebitters t1_izir8ic wrote
Seems reasonable
[deleted] t1_izis0ye wrote
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Foodispute t1_izj2bmx wrote
I wish it wasn't illegal in the first place
garylapointe t1_izjia73 wrote
That’s awesome!
[deleted] t1_izk135s wrote
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RestrictedX93 t1_izk3nr1 wrote
Been asking my wife for the same ability for years. She just gives me this look of disappointment and disgust.
ShapeyShifter t1_izkllez wrote
The unicorn is Scotland's national animal
focus503 t1_izkwonr wrote
The unicorn is the national animal of Scotland.
Fast_Enthusiasm_6655 t1_j00f5mm wrote
The only “unicorn” she’ll have to find is a very generous, steadfastly happy, loving-hearted, and caring friend that she knows.
WutWhoSaidDat t1_izj8sii wrote
Slow news day.
Tokyo5o t1_izk3pl0 wrote
They are going to let her kidnap a pro labor politician?
coronaflo t1_izk6oja wrote
How is this uplifting?
HappyHighwayman t1_izimz9t wrote
Waste of government time and resources. Positively ;)
Kind-Tourist463 t1_izinbkr wrote
We actually paid somebody to discuss this …. This was paid for and then reported on….
juriettochan t1_izhv2ft wrote
Don’t they have better fucking things to do with their time? Are they getting paid by tax dollars?
CanuckNewsCameraGuy t1_izhxos6 wrote
Jesus dude, take a deep breath and chill.
This probably took all of an hour to pull together, can be paid for out of the PR/advertising budget, builds goodwill with the community and made some, probably most, people laugh.
Ashura77 t1_izi5a5n wrote
Oh come on now, really? This is a sweet and hilarious story that probably made them work better since it brightened up their day. All the tax money wasted for nonsense, this isn't one.
chaosglory626 t1_izgpybf wrote
This girl is going to steal a baby rhino from the zoo and get away with it.