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BigTedBear t1_ius4s92 wrote

Panda diplomacy is one of China’s most successful programs everyone loves pandas.

Hopefully they can help the Bear in question.

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BigTedBear t1_iusqsuh wrote

Panda just wants you to know Natural Selection isn’t always black or white.

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PM_ME_C_CODE t1_iusjuje wrote

>everyone loves pandas

I don't.

They're lazy, stupid, and they eat food with almost zero nutrient value.

They're Chinese koalas, and I hate those little fuckers too for the same reasons.

It's like evolution said "if you're inefficient, you'll die out!" and pandas went, "hold my beer".

You want a real animal? Try the African Cape Buffalo. There's a real animal!

Run around in massive herds, and work together to make sure you don't fuck with 'em. They've been known to circle back and ambush hunters when the shot doesn't kill them in one. And they're so good at it they've been nick-named "The Widowmaker" and "Black Death".

If you piss off the herd and try to escape up a tree, they'll just camp out until you either die of dehydration or come down and get what you've got coming. Also, if they knock you down, they'll wait for you to get back up. Then they'll knock you down again. And they'll keep that up until you're dead.

They've been known to surround lion prides and wipe them out before the lions attacked.

Or you can be a fan of a living bean-bag chair.

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chocolatemilk9 t1_iusq8hb wrote

Sounds like ur jealous of the panda’s life mate.

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PM_ME_C_CODE t1_iusqye3 wrote

^(I am...)

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Heliolord t1_iuuewxm wrote

Fair enough. Fuckers are cute and rare so they basically get luxury digs, free food, porn, and guaranteed sexy times. Fuck pandas. I want that!

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BJs_Minis t1_iutfbfy wrote

Are you a ten year old? Do you think the value of pandas existing is zero because they're not "badass" enough?

Why the hell do you get mad at an entire species of animals? What did they do to you?

And lastly, who ISN'T lazy, stupid and only eats food with almost zero nutrient value? THOSE ARE MY FAVOURITE THINGS

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WrethZ t1_iut8nhk wrote

Koalas and Pandas were both surviving just fine until humans destroyed their habitat.

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DaSh4You t1_iusox0t wrote

I’m sure you have a punchable face if you hate pandas.

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Resafalo t1_iutbzd0 wrote

You’re right but your logic fails when you see how cute Pandas are

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simulacrum81 t1_iutu0t7 wrote

To be fair to koalas they were perfectly evolved for their niche and quite successful and plentiful before we came in and radically altered their environment. They suffer from the same problem as a lot of native Australian and NZ animals - over the millennia they became hyper-specialized for an environment with no agriculture, few predators and limited contact with humans. Ground dwelling flightless birds, to take another example, are well adapted to a life of foraging on the forest floor, but it takes the introduction of a handful of rats or feral cats to wipe out the species.

Whereas pandas, it seems, have always been very rare. We have ancient Chinese drawings of all sorts of animals that are native to China.. even non-native animals like lions and elephants, but there are no surviving depictions of pandas.. They were bears - fully adapted carnivores with the muscle mass, claws, teeth and digestive system for meat eating, who for some reason decided to go vegan.

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senzox t1_iutqjni wrote

yea, i like buffalo wings as well

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SatansPrGuy t1_iutwhiz wrote

He just wanted to teach them the dangers of sexual harassment

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