The trick is quantity to achieve quality. Not every single one is gonna be perfect. Some will be downright sad where you both look at each other like…. C’mon. You can do better. Some will be great.

Every now and then, there’ll be the ones where you can spot perfection. All the conditions will be right. Yoga pants, check. Back turned towards me and not expecting this, check. Ass lookin’ PHAT, check. Going into it will be like lining up a 3 point shot, or hitting that perfect golf swing… achieving it will feel like scoring a goal off a corner kick with a sick curve. Your hand will land, quick and hard. Her ass will ripple like having dropped a stone in a koi pond. It’ll sound like you just cracked a whip but it’ll not feel so painful… it’ll be just at the threshold where any harder would’ve gotten you that “ow, why did you do that” reaction but this is just right. Like hitting a bullseye in darts but intentionally rather than by accident. Your hand will stay planted and you’ll shift into cupping that cheek, swing around her body and plant a kiss on her lips. She will kiss you back and you will know the perfection of that ass slap. It’ll make up for all the lesser ones. These will be the ones you strive to recreate, every fucking attempt and these will be the ones you remember as you lay dying.