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alcobain1967 t1_iy5dpr7 wrote

Story time: I'm a retired cop. The last 11 years of my career I was a detective assigned to our crime scene unit. I was on day shift. Got a call for a dead guy. Guy was about 60 and was a farmer. Wife leaves to go shopping. When she left, he was working in the pasture.
She comes home and he's dead, naked, in their bed. He's got two huge rubber bands looped around his legs and then wrapped around his dick. The guy just wanted to have a little wank and died in the most embarassing way-at least for his wife. That was a memorable scene.

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nicokokun t1_iy65j08 wrote

>He's got two huge rubber bands looped around his legs

I'm both confused and horrified about this. What does this even mean and is it supposed to be kinky?

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happy-cig t1_iy65xie wrote

I think you last longer with no blood going to ur legs? Maybe he was going for a marathon wank.

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nicokokun t1_iy66ih8 wrote

When I'm old, I want to have as much stamina as this guy to want to cut off circulation just to wank for who knows how long.

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alcobain1967 t1_iy6aezs wrote

I believe it helped him achieve and maintain his erection. The wife was so embarassed, but I never got to talk to her. The medical examiner and another detective did that. I did go to the autopsy and collected the rubber bands as evidence just in case something suspicious popped up later. It was classified as a natural death as the cause of death was heart/coronary issues. But I guess he died doing something he enjoyed.......

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RedditWhenJoke t1_iy5ysob wrote

I sort of wanna work in some kind of law enforcement to see some Sherlock Holmes shit like this

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rmzynn t1_iy6ok47 wrote

I did too, until I read you had to be a cop to move up.

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Laser716 t1_iy6ou61 wrote

My aunt was a cop for 30-ish years (beat cop for most of her career, retired as a Captain). She tells the story of finding an older man dead in his chair and completely naked. When the heart stops pumping, the blood pools down in the body. Certain tissues expand when filled with blood.

The punch line is "there was a fly on it!"

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