Submitted by v3xpunk t3_125mhk6 in Showerthoughts
Comments
Owenrat t1_je4x2ow wrote
But then that wouldn’t be your death certificate anymore
wildadragon t1_je5tzh8 wrote
Sure it is, has your name on it and says certificate of death.
Owenrat t1_je66k7p wrote
Fair
wildadragon t1_je67uoi wrote
Power move, if you hate someone have a prefilled out death certificate (you can provably find a template online and print it out) then hand it to the person.
Luqas_Incredible t1_je7ea66 wrote
With a post-it "just in case"
illessen t1_je7wqyw wrote
Add in location so they avoid it like the plague.
BlightFantasy3467 t1_je8omin wrote
And time of death as well,
Maybe a cause of death, if death certificates have one.
youcancallmescott t1_je86z9y wrote
Haha damn. I like it.
yor_ur t1_je7nfgd wrote
I would rather see that than my obituary if I was an asshole all my life and knew it.
I believe that’s why the Nobel prize was invented.
Nobel saw his premature obituary and said “fuck that. I’m not being remembered as an arms dealer”
Redditardus t1_je4xcf6 wrote
Well, kinda true, kinda not. I see your point.
spaceship247 t1_je7gbfm wrote
Would be an invalid death certificate
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Ok_Dog_4059 t1_je83441 wrote
Maybe I am going to be a ghost.
Mashedtaters91 t1_je8eukv wrote
Worse yet, there are those that have been marked dead by social security
www.cbsnews.com/news/social-security-identity-fraud-scott-pelley-60-minutes-3/
exbingoz t1_je8ufmi wrote
you have just been invited to r/trainthoughts
Icecream-is-too-cold t1_jeb3qfe wrote
Morgan Freeman is a world champion.
darkpenguin_ t1_je71hqc wrote
I decided enough is enough. Time to prove some random internet stranger wrong. I write up a plan and put everything in place over the course of several years. Next, I enact my plan. Sell my things, catch a bus to a cheap area, and grab my documents. Upon arrival, I make a few purchases and grease the palms of those that would be useful. Through a carefully formulated psychological warfare strategy, I simultaneously get rid of those who stand in my way and gain capital through my venture. The factory is printing death certificates on the cheap for the whole of my country. I watch every single certificate as it's being made. It's at this juncture that I know that I will have seen my own death certificate for sure so long as I never sleep. I realize I could just have gone to a single coroner's as I was dying and taken a quick glance at their blank death certificates...
TLdR: I have too much free time and manufacture death certificates, but that backfires
wildadragon t1_je5u8i8 wrote
Peoole who have been missing for X number of years and then presumed dead also have death certificates, then the person is actually found or returns can see their death certificate
Mr310 t1_je7cd8a wrote
Someone out there who's faked their death well enough surely has.
Pulse_163 t1_je7ebk0 wrote
Except for that romanian guy that moved from Romania to Turkey and after a while there was an earthquake in Turkey and his wife back in Romania declared him dead (they were separated and not in contact). After about 10 years he came back and he wanted to renew his ID Card and he was presented with the fact that it is impossible due to him being dead. Afterwards he contested in front of a judge, the judge denied it based on the fact 5 years passed and because, watch this, there was no proof he was alive. It was a meme for a while. I dunno if he is alive now lmao.
On another fact he called his wifes clitoris "enlongated, shaped like a small penis"
bobhand17123 t1_je7z835 wrote
Like when my wife and I announced her first pregnancy to a friend (not family FFS) by casually setting out prenatal vitamins, someone could announce your impending murder by leaving your death certificate where you will find it.
funnystuff79 t1_je6xtmp wrote
Get yourself a death sentence and you could get them to fill it out in advance
szczurman83 t1_je7pk22 wrote
Well, if you are someone who is certified to write one as well as a physician who can designate the cause of death, fill it out with cause of death being gunshot wound to the head, make the time of death a minute after you sign it, and then follow through, you will have seen it.
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DaylightChampion t1_je7pn0l wrote
You could just crash your own funeral
Showerthoughts_Mod t1_je4q5sn wrote
This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.
Remember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not "thoughts had in the shower!"
(For an explanation of what a "showerthought" is, please read this page.)
Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.
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Ibwitchu t1_je7dff1 wrote
Mindblown. Because I honestly thought I was at least kind of smart until I read this and realized I had never thought of this.
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Nowraidond t1_je7gll8 wrote
Eh. Just one more opportunity for someone behind a keyboard to mess up my name.
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HypnoticKitten t1_je7xo0g wrote
Nah imma be a ghost and come back and haunt these fuckers so maybe I’ll catch a glimpse of the paper
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nxcrosis t1_je80ufj wrote
This reminds me of the news article where a Romanian court tells a man he is not alive.
Basically, the man was presumed dead in 2003 and couldn't renew some of his documents in order to set up a business because the prescriptive period within which he could have contested the death certificate had lapsed.
Sideways_X1 t1_je810wl wrote
You don't know my plans! How else would I know my plan succeeded?
Loreathan t1_je81sek wrote
What if I fake my death and one night sneak in to the building where they keep my record, take a photo of it with a grin, appear during my funeral and shout "I did it!" Holding my phone in the air while guests fainting and screaming.
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halfashell t1_je83gfp wrote
Or your obituary. I’m going to write my own demanding it to be what everyone will read in my will.
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DragonSlayer-2020 t1_je86qyr wrote
Unless you die for a few hours and come back and see it. There's a loophole.
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Wonderful-Avocado-45 t1_je8jx93 wrote
Jokes on you. I have at least 7 certifications and degrees on my wall that equate to my death in public accounting.
Firesondiego t1_je8kvz7 wrote
Alfred Nobel read his own obituary after it was erroneously published after his brother’s death. The obituaries referred to him as “The Merchant of Death” and the realization that his invention of dynamite would be his legacy caused him to create the Nobel Prize.
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Aggravating_Zucchini t1_je8mfqs wrote
Except if you want to take a new identity and kill the previous identity.
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KANGladiator t1_je8r86e wrote
But pretty cool if you do, meaning faking your death and funeral and looking at it from afar.
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drdavidjacobs t1_je90oju wrote
You won’t, I’m gonna roam the subways like that guy in the Ghost movie
Memethant t1_je95cak wrote
Not until everyone gets really cool about necromancy we wont.
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rzyn t1_je9hmfg wrote
Reincarnation though. Depends on who you consider to be you though. Debatable.
bisector_babu t1_je9n144 wrote
That's for your spouse or kids to show you're dead and get the insurance money
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nostopthere2 t1_jea38ew wrote
This made me cry cuz my dad just died and we’re waiting on his death certificate to finalize everything
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TheSkewsMe t1_je7j9a5 wrote
In 1975 a bright kindergartener with dad in Defense wanting to be James Bond when I grew up, I spearheaded the develop of cyborg technology for a multinational task force mapping the brain per Jesus in Matthew 20 telling us to get our lazy butts to work building heaven, so there's a good chance my new sleeve would be able to see it.
In the meantime, if you ever woke up in Sunday school thinking you fell asleep, you might want to add #MeToo and #WhyIDidntReport to your hashtag campaigns.
Redditardus t1_je4sk4f wrote
Probably not. Some people have been assumed dead and then have reappeared alive though.