Submitted by No_Sir_3600 t3_zv8hm7 in RhodeIsland

This will be a weird post, sorry in advance. When I was an underaged kid, the Diocese of Providence basically exploited me for free labor. Well, one school anyway: Msgr Clarke in Wakefield.

My mother, a drunk, fell behind in her payments to the daycare there. My sister was at the daycare. She cut a deal with the principal, that I (aged 12) would work in the daycare (unpaid) to cover my sister's bills.

This is clearly pretty illegal: I was 12 and the minimum age for most work was 14. You needed a permit at 14, too. Obviously they also did not background check me, they didn't train me either. I did not receive compensation of *any* kind for this. It was not, for example, a work-study situation. I didn't get "Christian service" hours for my religious ed classes. It was just, like, humiliating exploitation. The daycare kids didn't listen to me because I was also a kid. I had to take the bus there from my school, all the kids and even some of the drivers made fun of me when I'd get off the bus. Like it really took a toll on my self-image and social standing.

The biggest issue I have with this, though, is that the principal should've noticed that my mom had a target child for abuse (me) and a golden child for private-school perks (my sister) and reported her to the state. They're supposed to be mandated reporters who notice & call when there's abuse. But that didn't happen. Instead, my mom went on to abuse me even further. I ended up homeless for a time, like I had to leave home to be 'safe.' I faced really serious consequences because of her abuse, no individual or agency ever tried to hold her accountable. Catholic Charities, Msgr Clarke, my parish, no one returned my calls when I was homeless and needed help.

I'm an adult now. Over the past 2 years, I've been trying to find out if the Diocesan schools have progressed. I spoke to their superintendant over a year ago, he laughed when I was describing the abuse because it was 'like Charles Dickens.' He admitted to the abuse basically, but couldn't provide assurances that they were doing better. I asked about teacher training, mandatory reporter stuff, he couldn't give me any concrete examples of programs or trainings helping them to do better.

I believe that if they were able to be held accountable, they'd put their house in order. The lack of statute of limitations around sex abuse has forced them to pay large settlements and implement safeguarding. I want them to do the same for other forms of abuse, like bog-standard exploited and abused by your mom. They don't take any of this seriously. Again: the superintendant laughed at me. The RI DLT has a statute of limitations of 3 years on back wages. I think the DLT should not have a statute of limitations when it comes to this kind of exploitation.

I'm just asking people: can you take an action like calling the Governor, or a state legislator, or the Diocese of Providence and asking them to do better when it comes to abuse? Because if they did it to me, they have done and are doing it to others. They treated me like an easy mark, not a kid who needed help. I left RI as a young adult, my Mom was basically stalking me, hanging out in the parking lot at my job, etc. So I'm not a voter there anymore. I've written to politicians in RI but never received a response. I've reached out to ProJo, the Boston Globe, the So County Independent, no one has responded to me. I think if I was still an RI resident it would carry more weight. But it's kind of not safe there for me, as I said I had issues with my mom following me and lurking outside my work when I was there.

Thanks for reading this. I know I will not recover the wages they owe me. It's not even really about that. They have non-profit status. They are a school: they should be safeguarding children. The hypocrisy also grates. They tell people you have to apologize for wrongdoing if God is going to absolve you. They would tell anyone in the confessional they have to say sorry and pay the wages to make it right. But they are not doing that. They avoid apologies and restitutions at all costs. They are also not able to tell me they're able to identify abused students or offer them help of any kind. So it's unacceptable to me.

I called the lawyer who handled the RI sexual abuse case, he tells me the statute of limitations has only been removed for sex abuse cases specifically. I think that's wrong. I think they should at least need to pay for therapy for kids if they participate in or cover up their abuse.

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Comments

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Unique-Public-8594 t1_j1nret5 wrote

I am truly sorry you were taken advantage of. You spelled it out very clearly for us, even though this write up must have taken some time. I’m sorry too, that you have tried to get help and support without luck. I know you said that you contacted the attorney who was on the sex abuse case without any luck there. Just trying to brainstorm: I’m curious what kind of response you might get in r/legal. Since it’s the internet, it’s normal if some might not be helpful but there might be some good advice there too.

I don’t know if it’s any good but there is a way to get legal representation for a relatively cheap monthly fee through Legal Shield. It gets mixed reviews: some people very pleased, others not pleased. If you go that route it’s good to check on the contract terms (is there a length of contract, especially).

Good on you for surviving all this. You seem more competent than I think I would be if I had endured this treatment.

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DuckiestBoat959 t1_j1nroh9 wrote

Former Catholic student here, we’re rooting for you!

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Pdmnt t1_j1o5t1v wrote

I was in catholic school in RI and was bullied every fucking day. When I'd stick up for myself, yep, suspension. Every fucking day I was bullied, and all they'd tell me is "ignore them". Eventually left for public school and the same shit happened but at least the tuition was free? I don't know. But fuck catholic schools

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deadl0ckx2 t1_j1o99h4 wrote

It’s sad, but nothing will change. No RI politician in their right mind is going to fight the Catholic Church (heck, half of them are Catholics in the first place). It’s probably the most powerful non-government entity in the state.

You’re probably being ignored because all the people in power don’t view your situation as abuse - they probably see a bitter Catholic kid pissed off they had to be an altar server, even though that’s far from the truth.

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SaltyNewEnglandCop t1_j1oe2iq wrote

Why would anyone at any private school tell you anything about their practices, alumnae or not?

Based on this somewhat rambling rant you’ve posted, I’m inclined to assume there’s a bit more to this story, and I say this as a former Monsignor Clarke and Prout student.

This doesn’t seem legit in any shape or form.

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Syncope7 t1_j1ogz1y wrote

Shouldn’t you go directly after your Mom? It seems like the school in question will just slow down the whole process.

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bambooboi t1_j1ornzl wrote

The Diocese deserves to pay for this

As the graduate of a parochial high school in rhody, I say fuck the system

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No_Sir_3600 OP t1_j1ossss wrote

Principals are mandated reporters, they are supposed to notice and report abuse to the relevant authorities. That's kind of the issue at the heart of this to me. If they're a school and have non-profit status, why are they able to get away with doing zero safeguarding of vulnerable kids?

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SaltyNewEnglandCop t1_j1ot1ol wrote

I look down on everyone.

Especially someone who I have reason to believe is full of shit and telling a fairy tale.

You’ll notice, this person hasn’t actually said what the purported “work” was. Nor has he given a time frame for reference.

He states these people were mandatory reporters, which hasn’t been around forever, nor is it absolute and obvious.

For all we know, this kid was told to do something kids in the school did already.

I highly doubt the validity to this story from my personal experience within the school which was many years ago, back when schools were very, very different and kids still got spanked.

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Syncope7 t1_j1ou97a wrote

So let me get this straight. You’re going after the school because they failed to report the abuse you suffered… that’s your mother caused?

I feel like you’re holding up your own justice, if you have a case at all.

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SaltyNewEnglandCop t1_j1owl35 wrote

Sounds like backbreaking work.

Also sounds like a role many kids used to fulfill when I was there. Every “senior” student, or whomever was deemed responsible and wanted to, on the bus was delegated to be the watchful eye on the younger kids. Something we all did to foster responsibility and being good kids.

Also, I don’t know who the “rest of us” is, considering the Catholic Church is still very much the prominent religion within RI and even non practicing are still supportive.

So maybe you, and some other weird non social friends hate the Catholic Church, but that’s far and few in between.

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No_Sir_3600 OP t1_j1oxgvo wrote

It took 3 hours of your day to "keep a watchful eye" on kids on the bus? Where were you being bused from, because I had to work until 5ish. The driver and the other students mocked you? You had to go and meet with the principal of Msgr Clarke, who told you your mom couldn't pay your sibling's bill, so you'd have to do it for them? When you were *12*? You think that's not a scary, pressurized situation for a kid who already knows their mom's a mess with a lot of money problems? You think that's not like hearing, "Well clearly you'll have to help parent your little sister because no one else is doing it."

You sound like the typical spoiled Msgr Clarke/Prout kid who was born on third and thought they hit a triple. I hope someday you have an actual problem, it might teach you some compassion for others. You absolutely should not be a cop, you should not have any job where you come into contact with vulnerable people.

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5XTEEM t1_j1oxxya wrote

The world is changing. Some people think for themselves these days. It's ok if you don't want to but it doesn't make your way the right way and it doesn't make it ok to force upon people without their consent.

I don't care if you report me for my language but I do care if you support abusers. Catholics have failed repeatedly to oust the pedophiles and abusers within their organization and have knowingly and willfully harbored them instead. Your repeated attempts to dismiss this story show that you're willing to protect these people and I think that's pretty abhorrent.

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acfun976 t1_j1p2kee wrote

No one had responded to you because you have no case. The school took pity on your family and gave you a small tiny job to paper over the money owed. There's real abuse by these schools and the diocese, your case simply isn't one of them. That's why no news outlet will call you back and no lawyer will take your case.

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Sparkleshart t1_j1q8a74 wrote

Principals/teachers/etc aren’t psychic. Did you report the abuse to them and they failed to mandate? Or did you expect them to notice something you didn’t report? Nothing that you specifically mention in your post falls under mandated reporting.

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jackassjimmy t1_j1q8ep7 wrote

You can’t fight the crown. Do yourself a favor and let it go. Easier said than done, I know but, this type of shit will kill you. Seek legal advice but it’s also not a bad idea to look into some counseling. Being able to talk about the pain and trauma this seems to have caused you, it’d might help a great deal to talk it out with a professional. I wish you only comfort and peace.

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