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Distinct-Ad5751 t1_ix3p2d5 wrote

Something in the milk ain’t clean.

My husband was granted 50/50 custody (previous marriage, 2 kiddos). We had them Monday, Wednesday and Friday overnights and every other weekend. As the kiddos got older the schedule changed according to their needs; sometimes they stayed a few months and etc. They’re grown now but one still lives with us full time and the other still has a bedroom here.

OP needs to work on the relationship with Mom. Co parenting is key to pulling off a healthy custody arrangement.

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Sad_Succotash_9347 t1_ix3x97c wrote

Did you fight it out of spite for your exs new found happiness?

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Distinct-Ad5751 t1_ix4355k wrote

What? I was a SAHM for 7 years - I did all the driving to school, Mom’s house, sports, music, friend parties etc. I helped with homework every night and tldr raised them the best I could. His ex wife took our son for 3 brights when my Mum died - she brought all the kids to the funeral.

We’re all good over here, we keep our shit together. Good luck, it sounds like you have some growing up to do.

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Sad_Succotash_9347 t1_ix44d3p wrote

Comprehension? I've done nothing wrong to have to grow up. She goes to court and wants to fight it because she still can't accept that I've moved on. What does this have to do with anything. Expand on where I should grow up? It's not like she went in and said let's split all time 50/50 and I argued it. Wtf is wrong with the people on reddit? My whole point was everything was smooth because you allowed it to be. If you went in bat's swinging trying to fight for placement then I'm sure it wouldn't have been the outcome it is now. I'm also very much moved on from our past and careless who she is with but sadly jt doesn't work on the flip side. Get me now?

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Distinct-Ad5751 t1_ix48nyt wrote

You sound really angry and bitter about all of it. I mean, that’s fair. You can be angry until you’ve moved on but you have to leave your feelings out of it. I don’t think you’ll like my advice but it’s worth a shot - talk to the ex. Acknowledge the problems in the past and tell her you want to leave them behind. Tell her you want a closer relationship with kiddo and want to co parent with her to make sure kiddo gets the best from both of you. Acknowledge there’s not a lot of trust but you’ll work on it and prove that you deserve to be there for the kiddo. Don’t fight about money. Ask how you can help. Show up.

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Distinct-Ad5751 t1_ix443jy wrote

It took me a moment to realize what you meant. My husband split custody 50/50 with his ex, not me. I don’t have an ex.

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Sad_Succotash_9347 t1_ix3xjqs wrote

I get cheated on. Move out. Get denied access to my child. Go to court to right this and I the father is somehow responsible to work even harder to co parent and establish a healthy level of communication? Maybe others need to change I've done all I can

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