Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

katieleehaw t1_jb2xazd wrote

What do you like? Live music, sports, dancing?

4

skippyspk t1_jb2zed4 wrote

A single male at a bar is just about as welcome as a fart in an elevator.

Download a dating app! That way you know you’re welcome. Either that, or hit the bars at 10 or so and shoot your shot… but good luck with that.

14

penobscotcrab t1_jb311bs wrote

Church, volunteer group, figure out what you do like and search for people with similar interests

13

Frosty-Vegetable-385 t1_jb32gy6 wrote

The fact that there are 10+ people looking at this thread is proof enough that this is a huge issue in RI. We really do need spaces (other than bars) for meeting people in person!

86

busback t1_jb34gw9 wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#2,169,087)

Don’t listen to that poster, tons of people still meet SO’s in person

You gotta make yourself have a level of confidence and charisma. I know it’s bad for you, social smoking circles outside bars are great places to start conversation. Find a bar with darts or pool tables. Bring a book to a bar and look around

If you don’t drink (or smoke) you can still do all these things with soda waters or N/A beers

For PVD bars:

Ogies, The Eddy, Wild Colonial, Hot Club, The Eddy, Slow Rhode

17

Lord_Ruler t1_jb35jiw wrote

My Social Sports or Super Fun Activities Club. Play some social sports and then go out for drinks after as a group (SFAC is even more low-key).

18

HeardingCatz t1_jb37ei7 wrote

If you are good with animals, volunteer at a place like the Potter league. If you have other interests, look for places where you can meet people with similar interests. I guess it depends where you are but most places have some kind of meetups and groups. Doesn’t need to be a bar. See if any authors are reading in town or near by and read the book and go to the reading. Often people mingle after and you’ll have something to talk about if you like the book.

40

Teccnomancer t1_jb37qgl wrote

Rhode Island dolls in Woonsocket. I’ll save you a seat.

9

Fine-Loquat t1_jb3ax63 wrote

We need a Reddit meet up. Is that a thing anywhere else?

12

unicornpolice666 t1_jb3j3og wrote

Im a girl and not even 30 (29 but eternally alone) so I feel your pain

25

OrdovicianOccultist t1_jb3stsi wrote

Check out Riffraff in Providence. It’s a bookstore/bar so at the very least it’s a comfortable place to hang out alone, grab a drink and read a book. They also have a coffee tea menu if you are staying away from alcohol.

33

gooberhoover85 t1_jb421dq wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#2,168,946)

You don't have to be much of a dancer to go to salsa. A lot of times they have a free class beforehand where they teach people how to dance. Very non-threatening and lots of beginners and then you stay for music and drinks and can practice. It's really fun and salsa is not hard, the moves are very simple. Great way to meet people that isn't just drinking at a bar. And perfectly fine if you go alone and plenty of women to meet. It's a lot of fun.

3

Aliriel t1_jb45bgj wrote

The weather is going to improve in a month or two. There's lots of nice parks and places to walk around. I met my current husband gaming, so I'm no help. But there's unicorn666 up there. Say hi.

6

Lonely_Ad8983 t1_jb4h4y1 wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#2,168,946)

If you like history there's a farm in I think it's Lincoln/Smithfield on 126 N that is looking for volunteers, I'm introverted as well but have been pushing myself to get outside more online dating is dismal at best and can't meet anyone sitting at home . ( I'm almost 53 single for years) I'm working myself up to joining a group of some sort this spring to make area friends ect . Good luck

2

SwizzleMeThis t1_jb4h92c wrote

Online dating ?

I’ve had success with Bumble and Tinder. Have to weed through some bs , but I’ve met real ladies on them 🤷‍♂️

3

RandomChurn t1_jb4l8ha wrote

I have a friend who was married five times (he's sticking with lucky lady No. 5) and what he did between wives to find the next one was the tried and true suggestion: taking classes.

Look, even if you don't meet and match with someone in the class, taking them enriches your life and makes you a more interesting person (which will help your overall presentation).

My friend took so many! Even ballet (and he'd been a Marine 😆). There are so many great classes / workshops to take! Look for workshops at first -- you know, the one-day or limited-session ones.

Cooking, wine, mushroom growing in your basement, wildflowers of Rhode Island, The Steel Yard, glassblowing, seal watching, day sailing, Save The Bay, rockhounding. Volunteer to be an usher at PPAC or Trinity. Check whether AS220 has workshops.

And remember, anyone at any of the activities might not be "the one" but might have a sister who is. So just go to the activity and strive to be open and friendly to everyone there. Because any of them might know someone who's looking, too.

Good luck! ❤️

20

tiredofthisalready t1_jb4mekk wrote

Meetup.com nearly every person in every group is coming in by themselves

4

MonicaPVD t1_jb4nhxu wrote

Replying to RandomChurn (#2,171,396)

Maybe leaving out the part about being married five times would make your story a little more beneficial to the OP. Your friend is broken, and it's only a matter of time before Chanel No. 5 figures this out, too. Classes are great, though. None of the performance anxiety that comes with the club / bar scene. Go. For. It!

Edit: Down vote all you want but it's true. To paraphrase the old trueism: "Marry an asshole and, well, you married an asshole. Marry four assholes? you're the asshole."

−6

Hobohemia_ t1_jb4olke wrote

Replying to Lord_Ruler (#2,169,324)

Every post similar to this has SFAC listed as a response, and there’s a really good reason for that. It’s a great group of people and always a fun time.

I’ve found MSS to be a little more focused on competition than having fun, but there are good people there too.

7

mrcphyte t1_jb4p49n wrote

Join twenty one stories’ book club. Get out for Dash’s group bike rides. Go to the various trivia nights around the city. Volunteer at the farmer’s market, or with a animal rescue group. Join a community garden. Join a group like CARI (climate action RI) or another advocacy group. Join an improv group. Lots of options out there! If I was single and looking to mingle, this would be my playbook.

3

Lord_Ruler t1_jb4q39m wrote

Replying to Hobohemia_ (#2,171,514)

Yep. I met my wife playing MSS (when it was still RISSC) so I recommend it literally every time I see a post like this lol. We moved to SFAC with our group but eventually life got in the way and we had to stop playing. We are a little more competitive-minded but still had a lot of fun.

4

jensinoutaspace t1_jb4rctr wrote

RI beer club! They meet once at a month at a different brewery around the state. Everyone is very welcoming!

3

depraveddoll t1_jb4sbnw wrote

I think doing anything solely for the purpose of finding a date is not going to work. If you lean into your hobbies and interests, you’ll meet somebody who naturally likes those things as well, and it happens when you stop looking. You have to constantly be open and social. I’ve met some great folks while watching live music, maybe find a local band to start following, and check out the different venues they play.

10

20_Twinty t1_jb4y7i6 wrote

Replying to Old-Software2657 (#2,171,637)

All 400,000 of them? Every single one?

I’ve more bad experiences with black men in my life than I have with cops, but it’s considered highly ignorant to stereotype ALL based on the actions of some. So why is this any different?

−20

20_Twinty t1_jb5205o wrote

Replying to OhItsNotJoe (#2,172,098)

Broadly generalizing 400,000 people based on their uniform is probably the dumbest fucking thing you could do. I bet you don’t even have 10 friends, but intricately know all 400k police officers and their ethical and moral compass? You have to be a true smooth brain to be this easily manipulated.

−17

vanlife22 t1_jb55vp9 wrote

Replying to tiredofthisalready (#2,171,432)

My roommate is really lonely and checked out this meetup group thing and said it seemed really cool

She's a 23 year old girl and literally had a girl approach her to be friends. Never heard back, people are weird, it's hard making friends out there when everyone is busy staring at their phones

2

hudsonvalleygoddess t1_jb57483 wrote

I would absolutely seek out volunteer groups, hobby groups, classes, etc if you are looking for friendship and serious romantic partnerships. If you are shy, the volunteer groups will instantly give you a talking point with fellow volunteers and then you can feel out conversation. You might not end up dating anyone from the group but do you know who most volunteers are? Retirees and old ladies. Do you know who likes to match make? Old ladies. So you may end up volunteering at the hospital or museum with Agnes who has a single granddaughter.

My cousin moved to a new state and had a hard time meeting friends. She ended up joining a knitting group and when she told them she was thinking about moving back home their hearts were broken. They didn't want to lose a new and YOUNG member so they found her a date that led to marriage!

1

skippyspk t1_jb58tfh wrote

Replying to busback (#2,169,262)

Don’t listen to this poster. You’re going to look like an AH or a predator.

That being said, there could be some places where you can meet folks. The thing is, you can’t be there just to meet folks. Do something you like. Brewery tours! Church events! Satanic events! Pottery class! Volunteer!

The advantage of a dating app is everyone’s usually there for the same thing. You’ve cut through the song and dance up front and you don’t have to worry about offending someone by saying that they’re beautiful or how their eyepatch compliments their bangs or whatever.

But you pull that shit at a bar…wildcard.

0

spoobles t1_jb5d4x4 wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#2,168,946)

>Idk if there’s any hope for me.

There is always hope. One of life's biggest lessons I've learned is, that you need to realize that making an ass of yourself (at first) isn't as huge of a deal as we all think it is. In the end the only one who cares about it is you. We're all scared and want acceptance. Confidence is incremental.

Two quotes I think of are "When you get out of your comfort zone your comfort zone gets bigger", and (Thanks to Adventure Time) "Sucking at something is the first step to being sorta good at something".

2

whatsaphoto t1_jb5kb4g wrote

Replying to 20_Twinty (#2,172,208)

Even small town John Laws out there are associated with a larger system that is spectacularly underregulated, overfunded and wildly undertrained and leads to the death of ~1,200 people per year.

That's a growing average of 1,200 people every single year killed by cops who decided to take the US justice system into their own hands in order to be judge, jury and executioner. If you aren't actively speaking up against this clear and present danger to communities across the US, it doesn't matter how much of a good cop you think you are - you're part of the problem and are indeed quite the bastard.

1

UsedCollection5830 t1_jb5nq06 wrote

New Englanders are friendly people for starters then you throw dating in the mix it's gonna be tuff man good luck tho

1

UsedCollection5830 t1_jb5oc8d wrote

Also just making friends is hard i was never able to make the same connections with people when I moved to America maybe it's a cultural this maybe even regional there are so many aspects involved in making genuine connections with people humankind is doomed man

1

20_Twinty t1_jb5pug9 wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#2,173,215)

It’s the new religion. Every opinion can be traced back to these kids political ideology. They all have monolithic thoughts and spew the same shit. Not an ounce of nuance.

The funny thing is the person saying “ew” to my statement about simply not stereotyping and broadly generalizing others is probably quick to tell everyone else how compassionate and progressive they are every chance they get. Do you see how there’s a lack of nuance here? Every opinion is black or white and based off political generalizations like identity politics. Cops = bad. Black people= good. Probably never crossed their mind once that some cops are black!!!!! 😂

0

busback t1_jb5qf3o wrote

Replying to skippyspk (#2,172,514)

There’s nothing wrong with complimenting someone or being flirty in real life when you’re initiating contact, as long as you respect boundaries and stop instantly if you’re rejected

2

OhItsNotJoe t1_jb682wb wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#2,173,897)

Wow, it actually makes total sense that a cop can’t discriminate “voluntary” from “involuntary” LOL

And you ain’t arguing in front of a crowd brother, the only thing that baseless claim accomplishes here is showing me how desperate you are to prove a point, especially since you’re wrong.

Piss poor inferencing skills from a cop really instills my trust in the police. Nice work Chief Wiggum!

0

satanshark t1_jb6jmb0 wrote

Well, that's where you messed up, son, you can't go to no bar to find a nice woman. You gotta go to a nice place, a quiet place like a library, there's good women there and 'erm, church, they're good girls. Or this place here, where I'm going tonight. The Black Awareness Rally. There's going to be some fine women there. Good clean girls. That's where I'm going, shit.

1

OhItsNotJoe t1_jb7nxvp wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#2,174,449)

I know it isn’t worth explaining it to you, but I’ll try anyways in the hope that one day you open up your mind to other perspectives.

Asexuality does not mean not having sex, it means not feeling sexual attraction. My partner enjoys having sex. I am “sex neutral”, not “sex repulsed” which some asexual people are, so I still have sex. Do I still enjoy it? Yep, endorphin rushes are cool and my partner is attractive. Do I feel sexual attraction to my partner nope, just aesthetic and romantic attraction.

And since you commented on my appearance, why don’t you post a picture of yourself? Or maybe send me a link to your social media? I’d love to compare looks since you brought it up, that is, unless you’re a coward. I’m betting you’re just gonna hide behind the screen though, chances are you’ll have some excuse or won’t respond.

I know you’ll see this, so show me, are you all talk and no game? Are you gonna hide behind a screen like you hide behind that badge? I’m willing to be proven wrong.

2