>Idk if there’s any hope for me.

There is always hope. One of life's biggest lessons I've learned is, that you need to realize that making an ass of yourself (at first) isn't as huge of a deal as we all think it is. In the end the only one who cares about it is you. We're all scared and want acceptance. Confidence is incremental.

Two quotes I think of are "When you get out of your comfort zone your comfort zone gets bigger", and (Thanks to Adventure Time) "Sucking at something is the first step to being sorta good at something".