You damn kids today don't know how good you got it with your Xrodents and Crimsontubes and all that, bringing all sorts of filth flarn filth right into your homes and to your phones for free at any second of the day or night. Back in my day, you had to put on your trenchcoat and your hipwader boots (and only your trenchcoat and hipwaders), trudge out to the porno theatre at a set time, pay a seedy looking guy who looked like he'd sodomize you for a half-eaten sandwich for a ticket to a movie you'd only watch 10 minutes of, tops, find a seat equidistant from the other 4 pervs in there, openn your trenchcoat just enough that your cock & balls were breathing the sweet air of freedom but not far enough to remove plausible deniability should the vice cops raid the place, and rub one out at the same time those other 4 pervs were, all the while hoping you'd time it just right so you'd come while there was a flash of titty or some minge onscreen and not a hairy bobbin' man ass.

AND YOU LIKED IT!