Submitted by Parrothead1970 t3_116qv08 in Maine
Comments
207Outreach t1_j98wkra wrote
I played 4 sports year round all the way to freshmen year highschool. I quit all of them because I couldn’t take the parents anymore. I just wasn’t as competitive/ took it as serious, and it was ridiculous that brown adult parents would shit talk kids
Yourbubblestink t1_j98wr13 wrote
I assume you mean grown,
johnplzza t1_j99vyqf wrote
This being r/Maine, so do I
OniExpress t1_j9be52g wrote
u/207outreach said what they said, and apparently they're sticking to it
207Outreach t1_jac00zp wrote
I’m not on here a lot, bud. Chill out I meant grown. Ffs
6byfour t1_j9afp59 wrote
I’ve seen plenty of white parents do it too
[deleted] t1_j98wlx7 wrote
[removed]
6byfour t1_j9afl0t wrote
Odd that you’d single out the fathers. My son was on a total of around 50 teams from 4 years old to college and there was no difference between genders when it came to parent drama. Mouthy moms putting booze in their coffee cups at 9 AM in the rink parking lot were lots of fun.
Yourbubblestink t1_j9aofao wrote
The fathers were the loudest yellers. Sometimes they were too many of them in the dugout with the children, and the ump had to order some out. Others got into arguments over balls and strikes. I once watched the father at a Little League game meltdown because the bat one of the children was using was 2 ounces too heavy for regulation.
6byfour t1_j9atseu wrote
You’re talking about coaches. I’m talking about spectators.I’ve seen far worse behavior from the stands than from the bench, though I could write a book about both
Yourbubblestink t1_j9axt7d wrote
I didn’t realize until I was a parent myself, how much other adults make having children about them selves instead of about their children. It’s really gross.
rectumish t1_j9ai7qw wrote
that's called Al Bundy syndrome.
tekedout t1_j98vbto wrote
INCREDIBLY low pay for coaching, and horrible attitudes of parents. /thread
figment1979 t1_j9jawpv wrote
And officiating too, which is a whole other discussion. There are official shortages in many places also.
tekedout t1_j9m6qzd wrote
Agreed, I officiated youth and HS football in the state and it was horrible, the parents are fucking absurd. I am considering stepping into officiating a different sport again but I'm so hesitant.
[deleted] t1_j98i3ea wrote
[deleted]
HIncand3nza t1_j98kxyo wrote
I played 4 years of High school varsity baseball and it is the only regret I had. Wish I had played tennis with my friends instead of hanging with the toxic loser baseball players
78FANGIRL t1_j98vh8l wrote
I said the same thing, only phrased it differently and have been down voted. 🤷🏼♀️
JimBones31 t1_j9aenef wrote
Seems like your comment implied that parents aren't toxic and don't apply too much pressure now though. Which is the case. Parents are still too focused on their kids win records and stuff.
78FANGIRL t1_j9af9dz wrote
I wrote two sentences. I wasn't implying anything.
JimBones31 t1_j9afbf7 wrote
Okay. That's how it came across.
PaywallHelperBotv2 t1_j9800w2 wrote
Link for those who need help getting over a paywall
I-Just-Work_Here t1_j9f2d3n wrote
Good bot
Good_Human_Bot_v2 t1_j9f2dxu wrote
Good human.
BackItUpWithLinks t1_j986lie wrote
High school should be more about local “fun” competition. Leave ultra-competitive to clubs, aau, etc.
Primary_Insect_553 t1_j9ahbsj wrote
Respectfully disagree. Learning how to compete and dig in when things get tough are crucial life skills. Plus, winning IS fun. Losing motivates.
BackItUpWithLinks t1_j9au63r wrote
- Nothing you said counters what I said
- In your scenario a school of 300 or 3,000 will have one team. How does that benefit anyone not on the team?
Primary_Insect_553 t1_j9awxf2 wrote
-
I’m saying high school should be on the more competitive side and not simply for “fun”
-
There are JV teams and in some cases freshman teams that increase the number of kids able to play a particular sport at each school. We don’t have any schools in Maine with 3,000 kids, so kids with any passion at all about a sport have a chance to play. If you don’t make a freshman or JV team, that’s a pretty good indicator of how little effort you put into the sport - are you entitled to benefit from something you didn’t put effort into?
FirstTimeCaller101 t1_j9ccsyv wrote
I agree, there are lots of valuable lessons to be learned from healthy competition. Most high schools offer intramural sports for those looking for a more casual experience or just wanting to learn how a certain game/sport works (also what PE class is for)
Korathaexplorah t1_j9ajul7 wrote
I agree and thats why there are rec leagues. High School should be about winning. I also very much agree that losing is a motivator. When I first started wrestling, I won every match (1st grade). The first time I got 3rd and didnt get to stand on top of the platform I was a sobbing mess. Made me never want to have that feeling again and made me practice harder. I wouldnt be surprised if they got rid of the raised platforms, poor kids today get a ribbon just for showing up.
curtludwig t1_j9am931 wrote
>High School should be about winning
And here I thought High School should be about learning...
oddfuture t1_j9bcsl0 wrote
Korathaexplorah t1_j9amw1o wrote
We're talking about sports, not academics.
TheBookShopOfBF t1_j9arbaq wrote
The AAU equivalent in baseball is for sure killing Little League, which in turn kills high school baseball.
These kids are like 9 and being told they need to try out for travel ball and if they don't make it they must suck, etc., all while they're being asked to cough up $1500 for a season while Little League is sitting right there for $150.
Is the coaching better? Usually not really. They play the best kids, emphasize winning over everything, and blow smoke up the few good players' skirts until they start believing they're special. The uniforms and equipment are sometimes better, but they also convince parents to buy a bunch of shit no 10 year old needs.
In reality, most good 10 year old pitchers are that way because they happened to grow faster than their peers, don't have any special talent, and are allowed to go forward with crappy mechanics because they're "successful." Great!
Then, everyone catches up, they're 14 and mediocre, and they're terrible at taking coaching and so don't continue to get better. Welcome to high school! Where they quickly become frustrated because they're not very good, have no feel for the game, and it's all a mess.
What kids need is to play as much as possible in a way that keeps them enjoying the game and with feedback on technique that's appropriate to their level. That can be done on the town level just fine with some basic training of volunteer coaches.
Everyone has a story of some kid who bloomed late and was all of a sudden amazing. Too often, that kid doesn't even keep playing past 12 years old nowadays because it's not any fun being one of the kids who isn't that good while all your friends bail for travel ball. It sucks.
There are pockets of places where we're keeping the little league flame alive, but it's harder and harder every year.
Our league had 8 teams of 12 kids in the majors level as recently as 15 years ago. Now it's three teams of 10 if we're lucky.
c4boom13 t1_j9br0u4 wrote
You can pretty much copy paste this for hockey and soccer too. It sucks.
all_stove_up t1_j9ha98w wrote
Very spot on post! This is my take for what it is worth. All lower level athletics should be about skill development and creating a love for the game and teaching players to compete with sportsmanship. You never know when a kid will get a growth spurt and suddenly that kid blossoms into a great player. I have seen it happen plenty of times. As far as varsity athletics go, certainly the win-loss record matters.
In my opinion, sport specialization is hurting kids in the long run. Playing a sport year round is not conducive to athletic development (strength/speed, agility). It certainly leads to a higher level of skill development at an earlier age but often leads to overuse injuries. For example, AAU basketball starts (at least where I am) before the high school championship game is played. So kids on a team that have a deep playoff run go right from their season into AAU. Then comes summer league, followed by fall league. No wonder they complain about sore, stiff knees all the time. It isn’t surprising when stress fractures occur in the foot/lower leg or ligament damage in the knee. They put incredible demands on the body without allowing for strength development and recovery.
Unfortunately that horse is out of the barn and specialization is here to stay. And for the 2 or 3 sport athlete that never has much on an off-season, at least they are using different skills and movement patterns throughout the year.
I hate to see how things are trending for high school athletics. These were the things that athletics taught me 1. how to work together and be part of a team 2. how to dedicate myself and work hard to reach a goal 3. how to compete (much in life is still a competition). All these things have helped me later on in life.
ebgoober29 t1_j99jy1r wrote
Unfortunately we have been trending towards elitism and clout as the main force behind who get to play these days. Poor kids are getting left out and the rich keep setting the standards and rules for who gets to play and get seen. The Roman circus is hard at work.
salvelinustrout t1_j981uwb wrote
What about AAU?
Beasagdeux t1_j9ao92y wrote
After Reagan the school boards across the state cut home economics, shop, art and athletics pretty much across the board. Not going to spend a penny that is not mandated by the state to confer a diploma.
I'm pretty sure that the only reason that there is any sports at our local school is because the boosters do all the fundraising to pay the coaches and the transportation. Players are expected to pay for each sport they participate in. The coaches are someone's dad or the math teacher who played sports in HS and remembers it fondly. Sometimes they are ok. But without any real coaching training sometimes you get people as coaches that absolutely should not be training children.
Also anyone who is any good at sport these days is expected to 'specialize'. That means playing one sport year round. Which normally means moving to non-school leagues. So that cuts down on the number of athletes on the school teams.
Add to that COVID restrictions and parents like me. I told the kids I'd give them one sport a year. It was all I could afford. The costs of uniforms, shoes, gas for trips for practices and games.. all on top of the 'participation fee'... times three.. gets freaking expensive.
In the end however it didn't matter. They didn't last in high school sports. No one plays for fun anymore. They play for their college resume. Like taking two years of a foreign language and racking up X number of hours of 'socially significant' volunteering. As my kids were never going to be able to go to a private college they didn't bother playing a sport. I was not cut out for the cut-throat nasty politics between player families and coaches. So they never got any play time. They were bored benchwarmers. And since they were going to state schools for college they didn't need the resume filler. So they quit.
edit: word
david_lo-pan t1_j98afhi wrote
Haven’t read the article. But AAU has ruined high school basketball.
6byfour t1_j9ag5x0 wrote
Same for hockey. Not AAU specifically but the bullshit “elite” teams that almost anyone with a credit card can join.
NobleHeavyIndustries t1_j9ahakx wrote
[deleted] t1_j9a3z5z wrote
[deleted]
forumadmin1996 t1_j9difvo wrote
I played sports in Maine growing up. Moved out west as a young adult and was shocked how far more advanced Football, Basketball and Baseball was outside of New England. My Grandson plays HS football at a 5A school. He has a year round personal trainer that is also a position coach. He is at the gym at 6 am five days a week and goes after school three afternoons a week during offseason. Half of his team mates are either talking to colleges already or already offered scholarships in their junior year. Most all of the starters in Hs here have year round personal trainers and position coaches and many also have nutritionists giving their parents recipes. Then summer comes and most of his team mates go to 2-3 colleges summer football camps and many are "invited" for free. They serves as kind of a "tryout" for colleges to see if they want to offer you a scholarship. This summer my grandson is going to the Boise State, University of Oregon and University of Washington HS football camps. If you don't do that for your kid, odds are he/she wont get playing time at one of the good public High schools or simply transfer across town to the school that doesn't win many games. PAC12, Big 12 and even SEC assistant coaches and scouts are at many of the games. Its a different world outside of Maine.
TarantinoFan23 t1_j9k09m6 wrote
12% doesn't seem like a lot.
planningcalendar t1_j9a7tc4 wrote
I work in a high school. It's the kids. They go out for a sport but have no interest in getting in shape to play it. They show up to practice when it's convenient. Their parents pull them out of school to do something else on a whim. They work or hang out instead. They are not competitive. They don't view sports the same way their grandparents did and most simply are not interested.
flyawaysnowbird t1_j9c0dc7 wrote
You mean they have interests other than sports? The audacity. High school basketball season is a full time commitment. Between practice and games these kids are at it six days a week. They also have to keep their grades high enough so they don’t get kicked off the team. It sounds like you’re trying to shame them for wanting to have jobs, pursue other hobbies, or simply spend time with family and friends.
planningcalendar t1_j9cgc93 wrote
I think you're reading into it. I used no qualifying words like just or only. It's my opinion based on what I see every day and what the coaches say. I think high school sports in small towns is going the way of the dinosaurs.
GuppyGB t1_j9ab8w0 wrote
I didn't see that when I played varsity soccer in HS. Everyone showed up, even in summer. It was always bad coaching if there was an issue. Coaches would be replaced frequently. They would pick favorites who would always end up choking when it mattered most or got reckless fouls. We had coaches who prioritized scrimmages over technique building exercises. We had few players with natural talent and years of experience, a lot of players with great physical ability but bad technique and response to gameplay, and the last 20% was all kids who just wanted to kick the ball really hard from half field. So you could blame the players, but the coaches didn't spend enough time teaching kids how to actually make plays and the ball forward. It just felt like they were praying for the same 3 kids to score every game and as soon as we conceded one goal they would start subbing fully capable players.
planningcalendar t1_j9aujlb wrote
Was this before the pandemic?
StrikingExamination6 t1_j9a3gu4 wrote
If your high school basketball team stinks and you want a chance at playing basketball beyond high school, you’re going to go find a better team to play on so you can get noticed.
seeyoubythesea t1_j9adj45 wrote
Noticed by who? The nba🤣
StrikingExamination6 t1_j9anvq3 wrote
Have you heard of this thing called a scout?
seeyoubythesea t1_j9baw1l wrote
See this is the thing about AAU. Everyone thinks they’re gonna get recruited
6byfour t1_j9c2kze wrote
While I completely agree that “elite” programs sell the dream too aggressively, D3 is accessible to decent athletes in most sports. You have to be careful here though- my son loves it and got regular playing time, but most of his friends from freshman year didn’t graduate with him, or graduated but left the team.
“D3 sucks,” you say. “No scholarships!” True, but he got a lot more merit scholarships than he probably deserved, had responsibility to other people which helped keep his grades up, and had a great support system. All very good things.
StrikingExamination6 t1_j9beplm wrote
Yeah, how dare these kids have dreams!! If you think you’re good enough, then go for it. If they get recruited that’s great. If they don’t, then they learn hvac or whatever. Why is that a bad thing?
6byfour t1_j9aglmg wrote
College coaches
6byfour t1_j9agjpb wrote
It’s funny, we did the college recruiting circuit for lacrosse and the coaches would always tell the kids not to specialize, and to play multiple sports. They never saw a kid if he wasn’t at the showcases though.
figment1979 t1_j9jb9gs wrote
Facts - I am aware of a high school student from Kennebec County who is supremely talented in basketball (and also happens to be very tall, so that helps), but instead of playing at their "home" school, they're now going to an academy a couple hours away in order to get noticed/recruited/scouted/etc.
There is most certainly a classist system in high school athletics. Only those who can afford to go do things to get noticed will actually get noticed. Everyone else doesn't have a chance.
78FANGIRL t1_j98105n wrote
It was expected for most people to participate in at least one sport when I was growing up. Parents don't put that pressure on their kids as much anymore.
ISeeDeadDaleks t1_j984jvi wrote
I think the pressure is in different areas. Kids are either in travel leagues, which are way more intense, or they're focusing on other things (music lessons, etc). It seems like the trend now is the specialize in something that might get you a scholarship. Which makes sense, given the cost of higher education.
TheMrGUnit t1_j9amh9j wrote
What century did you grow up in?
I've never heard that expectation expressed in my entire life
TarantinoFan23 t1_j9k01lt wrote
I agree. Wherever she is from is definitely not norm
iglidante t1_j9kfcme wrote
> It was expected for most people to participate in at least one sport when I was growing up. Parents don't put that pressure on their kids as much anymore.
Given that many kids don't like sports, and enjoying sports is hardly universal among adults, I can't see a downside here.
Yourbubblestink t1_j98c3p7 wrote
The thing that ruined high school athletics, it is the parents. I saw it start to happen when my kids were entering little league.
Somehow the fathers made that all about them.