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SmellsofElderberry25 t1_j2c6fu1 wrote

Reply to comment by dedoubt in Feel safe by Kazbob48

You’re just a good human being.

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MaineBlonde t1_j2cemjc wrote

This is so unsafe. Please don't make it sound like women should be stopping to help strangers, as that can be tremendously dangerous.

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dedoubt t1_j2chiq1 wrote

I'm 52 years old, I've lived all over the place and have helped a lot of people. Please don't make it sound like it's never safe for women to use their best judgement about whether they should help someone in need. (Or accept help when it's needed.)

And I'm coming from the perspective of someone who was brutally abused growing up, but I still choose to believe most people are good. I'm also not an idiot, I don't endanger myself. Women are capable of taking care of themselves and don't need to go through their lives feeling like potential victims. That's some bad juju to draw to themselves.

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vgallant t1_j2dhzbl wrote

Same here, I've picked up so many hitchhikers in maine, and it usually turns out we have mutual friends or know the same people. One guy was walking from the lobster boat in Thomaston to bucksport, he was walking in searsport when I picked him up and took him to the Verona Bridge.

I've never had a single issue with any of them. I'd say maybe 20 people over the last 15years. They have all just been so happy to have a ride and get off their feet. My husband hates it only because I'm a woman, but he also knows I'm perfectly capable of handling myself and survived before he came around.

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MaineBlonde t1_j2diweo wrote

I'm sorry, but this is wildly naive. I'm happy that you've never had a problem, but its still incredibly dangerous. There are ways to help people without inviting them into your car or putting yourself in a vulnerable position.

You can have great experiences for years and you only need one person who isn't a good person to hurt you, potentially irreparably. And if you want to risk yourself then fine, but don't romanticize it for other women. There's a difference between being scared and smart, and it's good for women to be smart.

Also, being a woman who can hold her own in daily life doesn't mean you can fight off an attacker with a weapon. I get a lot of "sassy Maine woman" vibes out of a lot of these posts and you're likely screwed if someone pulls a knife or gun on you.

Make yourself an easy mark, but please don't encourage other women to do so. And im sorry you were abused, but that won't save you either it someone wants to hurt you now. Over-trusting is not a badge of honor.

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dedoubt t1_j2dz4do wrote

>Make yourself an easy mark,

That's just a gross thing to say.

You're so sure you're right, you've made a bunch of assumptions and insulted me repeatedly. Try to understand that people have different ways of living their lives, and being different from you isn't being wrong.

>but please don't encourage other women to do so.

Nothing I wrote is encouraging other women to do the same. I'm talking about my life, my experiences and using my judgement in situations. I have many female friends who go through life the same way I do and they also have no problems.

I'm sorry you feel so much fear in your day to day life, but most people are good and I'm going to continue helping my fellow humans.

>And im sorry you were abused, but that won't save you either it someone wants to hurt you now.

??? Eeeww. Who said anything about the abuse I went through "saving" me in any way? I mentioned it to point out that even though I have good reason not to trust people, I still am able to recognize that most people are not a threat to me.

>I get a lot of "sassy Maine woman" vibes out of a lot of these posts

What a shitty way to put down the women of Maine.

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MaineBlonde t1_j2f22kq wrote

Nah, just putting you down. Most Maine women aren't stupid enough to let strangers in their car. But good luck with all that.

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dedoubt t1_j2f5cpq wrote

>Nah, just putting you down. Most Maine women aren't stupid enough to let strangers in their car. But good luck with all that.

​

Wow, you're super nice. Thanks so much for making the world a better place!

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sirgoofs t1_j2dat8c wrote

A lot of things are risky… heck getting into your car and driving anywhere poses a real risk of death or injury, but we do it, even if it’s just to go get tacos. There’s always a risk/benefit ratio to analyze for each individual, and sometimes helping someone out is worth the obvious risks.

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dedoubt t1_j2ce8ow wrote

Aww, thanks! I try. Maybe it makes up for the times I'm a total dick.

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