Submitted by TnB58 t3_yev6s2 in Maine

My husband and I are very interested in adopting, but we have no resources/even a point to start. If anyone on here has any information it would be greatly appreciated, thank you ❤

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Antnee83 t1_iu0e7t9 wrote

I'm a very well behaved 39 year old who is mostly housebroken and is looking for a forever home!

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TnB58 OP t1_iu0gp9b wrote

Hmm I don't think our house is a good fit, don't worry though I'm sure there's a perfect family out there for you, and don't worry about that housebroken part you'll get there someday hahahaha

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whiteeemily t1_iu0uzws wrote

My number one piece of advice is to read The Primal Wound, talk to adult adoptees (including in online groups and spaces), and make sure you fully understand the trauma inherent in adoption before you begin. If you're not already, get comfortable with the concept of open adoption and of fostering kids' relationships with their families of origin.

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OustedStrongman t1_iu0ym9z wrote

We adopted through MAPS almost 20 years ago. The agency is gone now. It's been a wonderful experience - I would echo what someone else said about open adoption. Our adoption is open and that has been healthy for all parties involved. Good luck - there are lots of ups and downs along the way but it is worth it in the end.

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simpleranger t1_iu17jds wrote

I recommend reading about TPW before reading it. There is a lot of dated thinking included. So much has happened between the early 90s and today. Consider the differences between clinical observations and scientific study. Reactive attachment disorder is a real thing but there are leaps made in TPW that feel too far in my experience.

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Throw-Me_Out t1_iu1gkqm wrote

Wishing you and yours the best of luck!

My wife and I have been trying for the last year and a half and I think we might have to think about adoption.

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Yourbubblestink t1_iu1pkaa wrote

Adoptive & Foster Families of Maine - they exist to support potential and current foster and adoptive families. AFFM.net.

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sy33d_am33r_ali t1_iu9kgem wrote

The best way is to become a licensed foster family through DHHS and then foster to adopt.

Not only is adopting through an agency unbelievably expensive (like $25k up front before they will even talk to you, and possibly another $25k in fees during the process), the adoption industry is incredibly shady. Especially foreign adoptions.

Many of the “orphans” coming from developing countries are either kidnapped off the street by the adoption agencies, or purchased for cash money from their birth parents, or born in baby mills where trafficked women are raped specifically in order to make babies to sell to western couples.

Go through the foster system. You may not get a baby, and the children may have health or behavioral issues related to the traumas they have endured, but they are the kids with the most need. And the state pays most of the expenses.

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