The crux of the matter is that there are fundamental limitations to the power of computation. It is physically impossible to create an AI, or any other kind of intelligent agent, that can overpower everything else in the physical world by virtue of sheer smartness.

Depending on where you're coming from this is not an easy thing to understand, it usually requires a lot of education. The simplest metaphor that I've thought of is the speed of light: it seems intuitively plausible that a powerful enough rocket ship should be able to fly faster than the speed of light, but actually the laws of physics prohibit it.

Similarly, it seems intuitively plausible that a smart enough agent should be able to solve any problem arbitrarily quickly, thereby enabling it to (for example) conquer the world or destroy humanity, but that too is physically impossible.

There are a lot of ways to understand why this is true. I'll give you a few places to start.

• landauer's principle: infinite computation would require infinite resources
• solomonoff induction is uncomputable: the optimal general method of bayesian induction is literally impossible to compute even in principle
• chaotic dynamics cannot be predicted: control requires prediction, but the finite precision of measurement and the aforementioned limits on computation mean that our control over the world is fundamentally limited and intelligence can never overcome this fact

The people who have thought about this "for 30+ years" and come to a different conclusion are charlatans. I don't know of a gentler way of putting it. What do you tell someone when they ask you to explain why someone who has been running a cult for 30 years isn't really talking directly to god?

Something to note on the more psychological end of things is that a person's ability to understand things is fundamentally limited by their understanding of their own emotions. The consequence of this is that you should also be thinking about how you're feeling when you're reading hysterical nonsense about the robot apocalypse, because that's going to affect how likely you are to believe things that aren't true. People often fixate on things that have a strong emotional valence, irrespective of their accuracy.

I don't think intelligence in general is something machine learning people even want to define. Psychologists do, with different schools of thought, including behaviorism (which has heavily influenced reinforcement learning, and of which BF Skinner was one of the main figures) and then cognitivism, theory of mind... The few attempts I have seen at the interesction of psychological science and ML have been heavily backlashed from both sides, for both justified but also unjustified reasons. The truth is some people will probably have to go against the tide at some point but they will also need to ground very well their approach in existing frameworks. Conclusion: try to be excellent in both psycho and ML, the field you are describing has yet to become scientific.