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AtlasClone t1_j9mrayl wrote

This is a very particular case, but the more general advice is that if people in your life stop doing the day to day mundane things, then check in on them. When people stop consistently doing things like chores, exercise or even just waking up early it's likely symptomatic of a bigger issue.

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Smoky-Abyss OP t1_j9ms4b0 wrote

I made it specific because I’ve only realized it too late both times. If even one person catches it in time to help and save a good relationship, then it’s worth the specificity

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deoxyribo t1_j9mzij3 wrote

Is it something you would want to save though? Something that you have to figure out like a puzzle? I'm just thinking here and I'm not sure how I feel about it as it has also happened to me as well. But shouldn't it be up to the person to communicate what's wrong in the relationship instead of you having to read signs? I feel like I would be walking on eggshells for the rest of the relationship trying to "catch the signs"?

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Smoky-Abyss OP t1_j9n1n1n wrote

Ideally. Unfortunately , my meltdowns scare my partners and then they stop talking about problems and it’s hard for me to notice the absence of something

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FoldingFan1 t1_j9njfqj wrote

Sounds like that meltdowns are a cause, might be best to focus on getting help with that.

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sleeplessjade t1_j9qd5c3 wrote

Exactly. Doesn’t have to mean their ready to break up with you, it could just be that they are overwhelmed with work, or having health problems, anxiety over money, not sleeping well, worrying about a family member, feeling depressed etc.

The real LPT is paying attention to your partner. If they seem off, like more tired, sore, cranky, more emotional, check in with them to see what you can do to help, even if it’s just being a shoulder to cry on or listening to them vent about situation out of everyone’s control.

That’s part of being a good partner.

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