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0-768457 t1_ja9nqvs wrote

Reply to comment by eltegs in LPT Request: How to keep a cleaner home by bschumm1

Have you heard of the mental load?

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eltegs t1_ja9q9j9 wrote

Yes.

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0-768457 t1_ja9qsb0 wrote

Solutions like this one can lead to more frustration and resentment because one party carries the entire mental load. It can also be detrimental to the relationship because it feels… almost parental, living with someone who needs to be reminded to take out the trash and do the dishes and fold their laundry

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eltegs t1_ja9x20c wrote

No-one has to carry that responsibility.

It is advise that the OP can ponder and take or leave, and if taken have an adult conversation with his sweetheart, whether such a plan is appropriate for them.

By the sounds of the replies I'm getting, It's like I suggested he drag her into a cave and force her to do as she's told.

I'm done here.

Over and Out.

Edit: the replies, not this replies.

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0-768457 t1_jaasfvo wrote

Huh? I’m not sure why you’re acting like I’m suggesting you be burned at the stake. You shared your opinion publicly, which allows people to reply, contribute, expand on your thoughts, or disagree. They should certainly be respectful, but disagreeing with you isn’t inherently disrespectful.

I’m just pointing out that your proposed solution is not creating an equal division of labor, and is likely to detrimentally impact the relationship. This is relevant since OP seems to be motivated by a desire to keep an even division of labor for the sake of the relationship. If she is managing the mental load, his fiancé will still feel like she’s doing the majority of the work, because she will be.

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eltegs t1_jaaxdil wrote

Sorry, I wrote wrong, and never meant to single you. I've edited the offending comment.

You are correct of course. And I'm free to end my engagement on what is a matter of opinion. I'm not here to change anyone's mind.

Thanks for your time.

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