Ask her what things bother her the most.

For example those dishes: why does she feel the need to do them immediately? Is it because she is bothered by the dirty dishes cluttering up the kitchen, or because she doesn't want to do everything all at once at the end of the day when she is already tired?

(Also a dishwasher is a great solver for this specific problem, but I know that is not always a possibility)

By finding out why she does things a certain way, you might start to understand her better, which may help in you being able to see the house through her eyes and picking things up a little quicker.