LPT Request: How to spend less time talking about myself or my own personal stories to people in awkward social settings?

Submitted by Apondfrog t3_10q449z in LifeProTips

Whenever I am in a group setting or even just me and another person, I find that when the other person isn’t opening up very much about their own life or what’s going on with them, that in order to fill the gaps or the silence I will just start going on about myself. This makes conversations feel a lot less static since I can generally talk about anything and keep a conversation going.

But sometimes in conversations I find that I am completely dominating and by the end I realize I didn’t get to hear much about them and I feel bad. This sometimes carries over into group settings when people run out of things to talk about, I just start and try to get some conversation going.

How can I just stop talking about myself so much and try to get others to lead the discussion and share about themselves? I wouldn’t want them to feel like they can’t share because I’m talking a lot.

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Comments

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Dunyazed t1_j6np3vs wrote

Next time there's a pause, ask a follow up question, or a general question about the other person, then wait and let them respond. Ask more questions, make less statements.

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[deleted] t1_j6nqyqi wrote

[deleted]

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Character-Plantain-2 t1_j6pd6m7 wrote

Seriously. I'm everything you mentioned, and I have plenty of friends. They actually worry if I'm not sharing random anecdotes. Or call me out if it's annoying.

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Lord-Kavarious t1_j6nvhzf wrote

Anything you want to talk about, simply ask them Instead…. You love the gym, ask if they do any sports? You have a cool story ablut the time you went to Paris? Ask if they have been to Paris? Etc …

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keepthetips t1_j6nok7n wrote

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ggsnr t1_j6o3f3h wrote

90% of our communication is non verbal or some shit. Just listen, you don’t always have to be talking. The quietest person in the room can be the most outgoing, you truly never know some people just don’t want to talk

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HogfishMaximus t1_j6owlkg wrote

If you are child bearing age or older, ask the discussion partner about their family. EVERYBODY wants to talk about their kids. It’s a way to really break the ice.

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Ken_from_Barbie t1_j6nwbfz wrote

You need to be humbled by life. Just wait, it'll happen.

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