Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

keepthetips t1_j5ug40i wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

1

Broadside02195 t1_j5ugpu3 wrote

Above all else, you need to allow yourself time to grieve. I get that your family looks to you for things, but it is absolutely imperative that you have time to process your emotions. There is unfortunately no shortcut for this, and no time table that can be given either. It will take you as long as it takes you, and that's okay.

Do what you can to give yourself that time. Don't neglect others, but don't neglect yourself either. Allow yourself to grieve, to feel the loss, to cry. That's the only thing that will help.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

27

LrrrRulerotPOP8 t1_j5uh83u wrote

You can be like this. It is healthy and necessary for you to grieve the loss of your loved one. And it will help to have your family there to help pick you back up.

My aunt got a statue that looks like her late dog. So that no matter what, her girl is there watching her come every day.

I'm going to get my dogs paws tattooed up my spine with their gotcha/birthdays with it. Grieve your pal, like you would any other person.

I'm sorry for your loss and I hope you can find some solace in knowing that you were their whole world.

10

roo-ster t1_j5uhcdu wrote

That's an awful thing to have to deal with. Unfortunately, there's no simple way to handle grief.

When I've lost beloved dogs, it hurt like hell. But for me the key has been to honor them by remembering the joy we shared being in each other's lives.

My two dogs are lying at my feet as I type this, but the background image on my cell phone is a picture of the good boys I lost ten and twelve years ago. I sometimes get sad when I look at the phone and see them, but most of the time, seeing them makes me smile.

3

Nismoco t1_j5ui2lv wrote

You are dealing with it man. Feel what you feel. Take time to hurt some. You (whether you realize it now or not) as setting a good example for anyone who sees you.

3

deathstar3548 t1_j5uigml wrote

You grieving is not wrong or bad or an overreaction, anyone who tells you that is just flat out wrong. Try your best to to grant yourself time to be sad, even when you feel like you don’t deserve to. Trying to repress/suppress such strong emotion is one of the strongest poisons you can inflict on yourself. With enough time, you will absolutely find acceptance and solace, and you will have sweet memories of the times you had together for the rest of your life.

8

bearbutts11 t1_j5uip9c wrote

I am so sorry, how heartbreaking. What helped me a little bit was to put away all of my dog's things, as sad as it is. Then you're not constantly reminded of him. Allow yourself to grieve, losing a friend is never easy especially when it's so unexpected. Take care as best as you can and try to lean on friends or family.

5

Sea-Operation7215 t1_j5uiumb wrote

When the people I look up to share their own grief, I am better able to handle mine.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

5

mjmart4 t1_j5ujawc wrote

Hey stranger, I am really sorry to hear this. You need to let yourself feel the feelings and grieve. Think of the good times you had with your dog. The great life you gave him. We never have enough time with them and it isn't fair and it is ok to take care of yourself.

I understand what you are going through on many levels. Feel free to reach out.

2

keenweasel74 t1_j5ujcdt wrote

Time helps, but it's a process. I've never totally gotten over any of my dogs, but I don't feel as bas as right after. Good luck to you. Remember the good times and bad. Let yourself grieve, it's normal.

3

NarrativeScorpion t1_j5ukurt wrote

Hey, hugs.

It's shit. Losing a pet unexpectedly is totally shit. I had it happen last summer. It is absolutely heart wrenching. You don't get any time to accept it, like you do when they're old. You're allowed to be upset, you're allowed to grieve. Why are you hiding from your family? I assume they loved the dog like you. They're probably also grieving.

Unfortunately the only thing that makes it even slightly better is time.

My family, we got another dog almost immediately because our other one doesn't cope with being alone. That helped a little, there are so many dogs out there that need homes, and we know that helping even just one is the best tribute to our old dog that we can do. But I still cry a bit when I remember the old one.

Pets carve out a place for themselves in your heart, and when they're gone what is left is a hole. That hole never fills in. It becomes smaller over time, it can be patched over, built on. But it will always be there, and that's ok. So go hug your family, and remember the good times you had with your dog.

3

johnny_cashmere t1_j5ul3gc wrote

Sorry my man. That is horrible. And you should be a little shook up. You can't blame yourself either. My family and I seemed to have a curse of unexpected goodbyes. And one of the things that has made me feel better about those, is knowing that you loved that creature an awful lot, and compared to most dogs worldwide, yours got to live the dream with you. And I've always found solice in that when our pets depart they don't have regrets or dashed dreams. Most animals die giving back to the circle of life, but yours was lucky enough to have a human. A human that truly loved his companion, and will remember him for the rest of his human life. This is more than any dog has ever asked for. But I'm sure if he could talk, he would want you to celebrate the good times and not depress yourself on his absence. Much love your way man!

3

Ghost_Prince t1_j5uld5h wrote

You have to be like this. You've lost a best friend and a part of yourself. It's okay to be sad and mourn that loss. My heart hurts for you; I still miss my dog and it's been 5+ years since she passed. In a week if it's still keeping you from functioning, put there stuff out of sight for a while and focus on "keeping level." Then deal with it when you can/want to. Some people have to get rid of things immediately because the revisited pain later isn't something they feel they can handle. I'm so sorry for your loss. Everything's going to be ok.

2

sonia72quebec t1_j5ulijt wrote

I think it's more than normal to be in shock and to be grieving. Your family needs to see you this way. Emotions are part of life and it's ok to be sad sometimes. If not they may think his death doesn't bother you at all.

What helps me get thru the death of my pets is to think of all the good memories with them.

1

selfdestructo591 t1_j5ullt1 wrote

Man, I don’t even know how “be” or “feel” normal when I am away on vacation, and my dog isn’t there, or when I get home is worse, and I’m not picking her up till the next day, my house is so empty with out her for like a day. I can’t imagine your feelings, and I’ve nothing for a timeline of recovery. My heart is with you.

1

Aliteracy t1_j5um56q wrote

When I think about dog friends that have passed on, I end up thinking about what it would have been the other way around. Doggo waiting for me to never return and I find that more depressing.

I'm sorry your friend is gone. He was a good boy. He was happy. He will be missed.

1

writingt t1_j5um8z3 wrote

I think you need to allow yourself time to mourn, your dog was your family too and it will take you more than a day to process your grief.

As far as practical advice goes, I would suggest adopting a new puppy or dog as soon as you feel you are able to care for one. I’m so sorry for your loss and I encourage you to take as long as you need to work through it.

1

Seyon_ t1_j5umb4l wrote

Lost my pup last month suddenly as well. I cried for hours for a few days after his passing and occasionally for like 2 weeks. Its rough, still have his stuff around the house that we haven't moved because it feels soul crushing. Take your time, it'll get a bit easier with time. Its okay to be sad they were your pal.

1

LisaWinchester t1_j5umgkv wrote

Everything has already been said, but I just want to say that I'm very sorry for your loss. Our pets are our family.

I always feel a little bit better knowing I've done everything I could to give my pets the best lives they could have.

The fact that you're hurting so much means you loved your dog so much, and that is a good thing!

2

geomitra t1_j5umve3 wrote

My dog got killed by an idiot in a car a few years back. Totally unnecessary. I still can hear my daughter screaming. Bothered me terribly for several months. I still don’t like thinking about it, but it got better

1

S-A_DClown OP t1_j5unb4x wrote

When the vet was doing CPR and he didn't show any signs of coming back my dad started to cry like a baby and he was asking me what to do next. I've never seen my dad like this before and naturally i had to take control over the situation. Thank you for your words....

1

ArmoredCabbage t1_j5unu8z wrote

It's fresh, give it some time, time heals.

In a week it will be "bearable", It's a process and you're in the very beginning which is the worst.

Again, give it some time and be occupied with work, hobbies, friends, hell if you don't have a girlfriend or a wife install Tinder or go to a bar, get drunk and have fun.

2

JA_LT99 t1_j5uo1fe wrote

It takes time and confronting these memories so that you can cherish them instead of feeling nothing but pain and despair.

Dogs are the best pets in the world and I am very sorry for your loss.

1

DatDudefromWI t1_j5uohuq wrote

Time. It's cliched, but it just takes time. Take comfort in the fact that (I think it's safe to assume) you gave him the best life you could on every day you had him. Hopefully your family understands that YOU need THEM to step up for a little bit. TBH, it's good experience for them to learn to take care of some things for themselves. I mean, what would they do if you had to leave for some reason (school, career opportunity, fresh start somewhere else)?

1

Flair_Helper t1_j5uoxgu wrote

Hello S-A_DClown, thank you for your submission! Unfortunately, it has been removed for the following reason:

Your title is not descriptive enough. The title of your post must contain the gist of your tip.

If you would like to appeal this decision please feel free to contact the moderators here. Do not repost without explicit permission from the moderators. Make sure you read the rules before submitting. Thank you!

1