Submitted by [deleted] t3_10nhosn in LifeProTips
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Submitted by [deleted] t3_10nhosn in LifeProTips
[deleted]
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Ask people questions about themselves. Most people enjoy talking about themselves.
Not that my thoughts carry any weight but...
I'll be honest I really struggled with this in my early to mid 20s. Ended up working with a lot of Owners/Executive types, all much higher caliber and experience level than me. I think my biggest mistake was thinking that I need contacts and therefore I went into each conversation with an objective. To befriend the other enough to be able to use them in the future.
This was the wrong approach, I never connected very well. And it's because I was trying to use people (even the ones I liked, it was becoming second nature).
Find something in the environment to talk about. For ex: I was at the dentist waiting room and Queen came on the radio. I asked this old lady next to me if she enjoyed a bit of Queen, she says she does like THE Queen (we’re in the UK), hilarity ensues and we chat for a full on 20 min until I get called in. :)
This. How are you, where you from, any feelings about INSERT SPORTS EVENT HERE. If you treat conversations like you are the talk show host and they are your guest, most people will talk. Always read the mood though, some people just hate small talk.
Ask What's the worst part of the cupcake?
Is a hot dog a taco?
"Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"
Can you find small businesses or non-profits and try to do some pro-bono or cheap work to build up experience for your resume, as well as connections?
The best time to break the ice is immediately
This is the right take. Talking with people because you want something is super obvious. You should want to talk to people who are interesting or fun to be around just for the sake of being with them. After a while of doing that you'll become friends and then you'll want to help them and they will want to help you.
The goal should be to make friends with people that you like spending time with. Any benefits that come from that are all bonuses.
Personally, I don't have an agenda when I speak to new people. I think folks can sense that. When they talk I listen. When I reply, I acknowledge the last thing they said so they know they're being listened to. I address them by their names every so often during the conversation. People love hearing thier own names. I believe that things like this makes for a great first chat.
Remember going to a seminar during MBA program. Presenter spoke about networking, and there was a networking event. Her advices sounded exactly like. Let me find out if this person can help me. If not move on. Screw that crap. If I talk with someone I want to learn and talk. Not see what they can help me with, and if not move on.
Ya unfortunately that attitude was prevalent in the circles I was in. Nobody really connected because we were all pretending to be interested but couldn't care less.
I'm a very different person now than I was, and for the most part it's been positive changes.
As an older person, let me reassure you: younger people can be fascinating and have very different/interesting/fresh perspectives.
Try to enter conversations knowing you are worthy of anyone's respect and attention. Don't be a conceited jerk who thinks they know better than everyone else, but don't discount yourself, either.
The thing about Arsenal is they always try to walk it in
Just complain about the weather or the traffic this morning, or not being able to find a good parking space. These are common gripes, and will resonate with many people. Then let the conversation drift to other topics.
Or sports. Find out something about the local popular sports ball team.
In the scenario you described, I'd turn to somebody interesting looking who was standing there like me (not engaged with others), and say, "Hi..so whaddya think?"..they say, "about what?", I say, "this party/gala/event"...they say....and now you're talking.
Wow, that explains everything that's wrong with MBAs, pretty much. If you don't connect to people you can't lead them, you can only boss them around.
I see you’ve met Scandinavians before then…
Ask them for advice on something. Everyone likes giving it and the fact you asked the person presupposes to them that you hold them in high regard.
Once you have the advice act on it. If it goes well tell the person and say thanks. If you're lucky you could end up with a mentor who will look after your interests if they're in a higher position than you.
Literally none of that would resonate with me, jsyk
Maybe you enjoy sports ball? Fans often need only a hint to get talking about their favourite team.
I'll amend my answer.
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“Will you marry me?” is a very effective ice breaker.
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