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BlueTeale t1_j68zcyg wrote

Not that my thoughts carry any weight but...

  • The people I know who naturally befriend everyone don't go into a conversation with an objective. The objective is just to talk with them
  • Ask questions about them, but be sure to relate or bring yourself in enough otherwise it's just an interview. Be sure to bring your own passion to the conversation (assuming it's relevant). We remember people for what makes them stand out. "Steve's the guy who really likes F1 racing", "BBQ Mark" etc.
  • Experienced folks, in my limited experience, aren't usually against sharing wisdom. Start off with, "I'm kind of new to X, and was curious how Y works. Because it seems like Z would be best option but ...." don't go on long. Leave the floor open to them, and then ask engaging questions.

I'll be honest I really struggled with this in my early to mid 20s. Ended up working with a lot of Owners/Executive types, all much higher caliber and experience level than me. I think my biggest mistake was thinking that I need contacts and therefore I went into each conversation with an objective. To befriend the other enough to be able to use them in the future.

This was the wrong approach, I never connected very well. And it's because I was trying to use people (even the ones I liked, it was becoming second nature).

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McSquiddy t1_j69w2xk wrote

This is the right take. Talking with people because you want something is super obvious. You should want to talk to people who are interesting or fun to be around just for the sake of being with them. After a while of doing that you'll become friends and then you'll want to help them and they will want to help you.

The goal should be to make friends with people that you like spending time with. Any benefits that come from that are all bonuses.

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rake_leaves t1_j6a2fjs wrote

Remember going to a seminar during MBA program. Presenter spoke about networking, and there was a networking event. Her advices sounded exactly like. Let me find out if this person can help me. If not move on. Screw that crap. If I talk with someone I want to learn and talk. Not see what they can help me with, and if not move on.

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BlueTeale t1_j6a78yk wrote

Ya unfortunately that attitude was prevalent in the circles I was in. Nobody really connected because we were all pretending to be interested but couldn't care less.

I'm a very different person now than I was, and for the most part it's been positive changes.

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GalFisk t1_j6cl0lg wrote

Wow, that explains everything that's wrong with MBAs, pretty much. If you don't connect to people you can't lead them, you can only boss them around.

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