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keepthetips t1_j5vlsc0 wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

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Dampware t1_j5vpe2h wrote

Just remember, sometimes it will be YOU who was wrong, even though you were certain enough to argue your position. It happens to everyone... And if it doesn't ever happen to you, you're not taking enough risks. Believing in yourself is important - even though sometimes you will be wrong. Go do what you believe in. Take risks, get rewards. And defeats.

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outtyn1nja t1_j5vqufz wrote

I believe that the moment the volume increases, and their face begins to redden, that's about the right time to stop arguing.

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xPlus2Minus1 t1_j5vzq4i wrote

This is how we end up with a dying planet. Do I choose my father or the children I'll never have cause I wanted peace with my father?

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YellowBernard t1_j5w21uv wrote

I feel like I'm having to do this more and more these days. Or maybe I've just got nothing to say

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ghostphantom27 t1_j5w4vw0 wrote

Sometimes its better to just not engage at all. Waste of time and energy only for you to get stressed out. Lol Just say, “Ok” and go about your day.

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xPlus2Minus1 t1_j5wddo9 wrote

My point is I can't continue to let people be wrong about this, the actual future depends on it. There is no time to stop. This is like the first time in our species history where that is actually true. Our whole species is facing demise. Letting people be wrong and just going about my life isn't an option regarding the problems we're facing.

−2

TheMcGirlGal t1_j5wdg85 wrote

To add, if you're online, blocking someone doesn't mean you lost the argument. If someone isn't listening to you, it's fine to block them.

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Zealousideal_Amount8 t1_j5wegt0 wrote

It’s usually best to let stupid be stupid, you’ll never change their stupid minds

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Sub_Zero_Fks_Given t1_j5whb2m wrote

That's not a LPT. That's the way people who are wrong think they've won. Fuck that.

−1

05hastros t1_j5wih0t wrote

It's better to be at peace than to be right.

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jrc83 t1_j5wj1g4 wrote

Vegans Unite! We know all too well.

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AnnualHoliday5654 t1_j5wjeq1 wrote

I just tell them I am going to tell you twice then wait for you to catch up

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sonbarington t1_j5wqdnp wrote

In a social setting. Go to a different topic or different person to talk too

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ApostrophesForDays t1_j5wsjy9 wrote

I don't find it useful to argue/debate unless it's in front of an audience and the topic is important to me. I and my opponent are both human. I expect them to dig in their heels, just as I most likely will too. I go into it believing they will not be convinced ever. Instead, my goal is to get the audience to see my way of things. They don't have a stake in the argument, they're not having to worry about losing or winning, being right or wrong. Naturally, they can change their minds in silence and not "lose face" so to say. I consider myself to have won if I've convinced the observers, even if my opponent gets the last word.

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earhere t1_j5wxlkn wrote

When people start denying logic, reason, and reality in order to defend their claim or belief, then it's time to stop arguing.

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oakteaphone t1_j5wyhr1 wrote

>blocking someone doesn't mean you lost the argument.

It does when you make one last comment about your point, and then block them so they can't reply to you!

I guess the "last word" people who were so used to always winning just can't handle meeting another "last word" person.

Or they want to make it look like the person they were arguing with couldn't refute their final point.

1

EetsGeets t1_j5wz3nv wrote

At work a couple months ago, a guy was complaining that Democrats are responsible for all of the economic downturns of the last 40 years.
I asked him who he thought was president in '08.
He said Obama.
You just have to walk away from that.

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RickytyMort t1_j5x33jh wrote

Lots of people don't want to be convinced. People believe what they want to believe. Doesn't matter what's right or wrong. (You will be wrong plenty of times as well) Oftentimes they know they are wrong but will still fight you or try to pivot to a different topic.

This realization has helped me quite a bit. I am now much quicker to concede arguments I would've drawn out when I was younger.

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X16 t1_j5x7h69 wrote

I had this realization after having discussions with family about the 'COVID conspiracy'. Their reply was basically there's nothing you can do to change my mind. It changed my mind on what's worth arguing about.

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klin0503 t1_j5x8cfy wrote

I used to do this all the time. I love being right, and I still do, but I used to always correct people. When I was younger, one day my friend called me out on it. Said that I always put him down. That stuck with me. Since then, I always think twice about whether or not it's worth correcting someone, especially if it's harmless for them to continue believing the wrong thing and they were excited about it.

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thatguyiswierd t1_j5xa5lx wrote

Now if only I could get them off the phone when I tell them we can’t do anything

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tehwubbles t1_j5xafdg wrote

r/climateskeptics

Don't look in my recent comments

0

Tabbarn t1_j5xd6ik wrote

And the other way around, if someone is sure that you are wrong, question yourself. Don't be a dick, it's possible that you are wrong.

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chnandler_bong t1_j5xfas0 wrote

I sometimes have to tell myself, "DO NOT ENGAGE." I try to tell other people the same thing, but they rarely listen. The urge to prove someone wrong is too strong sometimes.

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AzzyIzzy t1_j5xknt5 wrote

It's a great sentiment to remember, harder to feel out when it's your good friends. That is to say I don't mean it becomes harder to stop arguing with said friend, but it becomes harder to know when they are pushing themselves of exploding and taking it too far internally.

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[deleted] t1_j5xnnc3 wrote

“ you know what (pause) I’d like to agree with you….. but then we’d both be wrong.” Then walk away - highly effective

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rosickness12 t1_j5xnx6e wrote

After they show how ignorant they are and don't listen to anyone but their own voice. Agree with them and convo with someone else

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zoot_boy t1_j5xqbgf wrote

Wanna tell my ex wife that? Thanks!

0

EvenNeighborhood3257 t1_j5xqfzt wrote

True. I have a co-worker who can't seem to fathom the idea that he's wrong so whenever I say we'll that's an opinion an he acts like his opinion is fact I just stop paying attention.

1

Turpitudia79 t1_j5xuqyv wrote

I saw a Facebook meme years ago that said “Fighting with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon. Regardless of the outcome, it’s still going to strut around like it won and shit on the board.” Paraphrasing but that’s the gist anyway!!

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diMario t1_j5xvzg7 wrote

I agree that arguing with some people is a waste of your time.

But simply saying "OK" and go on your merry ways will validate them in their wrongness and gradually make them more pigheaded and stubborn.

I believe the right way to handle such people is telling them they are wrong without letting yourself get drawn into a spun out argument. Just let them know that they are wrong, perhaps with a smattering of arguments, and then go on your merry ways.

Like this:

Moron: "Guh buh luh".
You: "You're wrong. Guh doesn't buh luh"
Moron: "Yes, but guh buh luh".
You: "No, you're wrong like I already pointed out. Goodbye!"

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sn0rg t1_j5xxm27 wrote

One of the finest tips I’ve seen here. Well said!

1

GuyanaFlavorAid t1_j5xyocw wrote

If people haven't reasoned themselves into a position, you can't reaaon them out. The super red flags for me are when they resort to conspiracy type shit or talk about how they heard it on talk radio. Especially when they're like "There's a bigger picture here" or "they do this thing around elections and it will magically go back" and tadaaaa it never happens. But you just keep dreaming, pal. Show me a vetted source or actual data. What? You can't? Oh my how shocking.

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WizardofLloyd t1_j5xz0mp wrote

My Son told me once, Dad, you can't win arguing with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and win! I don't know where he heard that from, but it is true!

1

DifficultyWithMyLife t1_j5y096q wrote

The problem starts when people's widespread incorrectness poses an actual existential threat to humanity in the long run. Then, we can't afford not to try to convince them, no matter how vain the hope of succeeding.

See: vaccines, climate change, guns, healthcare. People's stances on these are literally resulting in avoidable deaths. Thus, I will never stop trying to reach people. Call me an optimist, but I have to believe it's worth it.

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jiraiya3 t1_j5y0umr wrote

This.

It took me long time to understand this.

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MrGelen t1_j5y1iq9 wrote

When this happens I do a slow blink, turn my head slightly, narrow my eyes and stop speaking for full effect.

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EmptyVisage t1_j5y26kh wrote

This is not the first time, nor will it be the last, that the "entire future of our species" was at stake. The solution is finding people with the skills to innovate in a way that progresses us enough that we do not need to magically change the base attributes of the human race. You will NEVER fix the issues you seek to by belligerently arguing with normal people living average lives. Yes, there are healthy habbits we can all implement that will help a little, but what is needed is a paradigm shift in how we extract, process and distribute materials and resources, and this is entirely possible if we encourage everyone who has the ability to start working on the problems. The innovations we have made in the last 15 years are already far and a way ahead of what we predicted would happen, and we have already averted the worst of it. There is a long ways yet to go, but we can get there.

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AshKalashnikov t1_j5y2jv9 wrote

I think you can assertively tell someone that they are factually wrong, but walk away from the argument. They will think they've won, but you are not validating them. It's more about keeping your own sanity. I get it, I have gotten sucked into many unfruitful arguments.

Someone already mentioned here, but one of my favourite quotes is by Mark Twain, “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

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Ohtar1 t1_j5y2p6v wrote

Nowadays I don't correct anyone about things I know are wrong unless it's someone I care about and I don't wan't them to be wrong. Some random coworker tells me the Earth is flat? Sure mate whatever.

1

AlpaKabam t1_j5y2wo5 wrote

You don't have to always change other's opinion, first of all you might be wrong yourself, second you can just agree to disagree like adults should do, third you can take the other person's opinion and take your time to think about it later, maybe you'll find something valuable in a different point of view, but it takes time. Hopefully the other person will do the same.

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WingedSalim t1_j5y308k wrote

Works on the internet, does not work for group projects. You can't let them be wrong because you are virtually wrong with them.

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Sammo909 t1_j5y3n79 wrote

I started doing this a while ago. Just last week my brother told me "You always do this, you just go silent when you can't argue!".

Frustrating bastard.

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Sentsuizan t1_j5y570l wrote

The block button exists for a reason. People will definitely come at you and egg you on to argue with them and I'm like I don't give a fuck about entertaining you

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Kaiisim t1_j5y5g5o wrote

Being correct rarely ever matters to anyone. They want to be right.

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SkyNightZ t1_j5y86xg wrote

Depends. This situation can be caused by either debater being close minded.

For example, arguing with a flat earther can make you angry. Not saying you should get angry, but I see it happening.

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SkyNightZ t1_j5y8jwc wrote

Vegans are some of the worst at it.

Obviously it's not a single 'ideaology'

But when people try and argue for environmental conservation, morality of animal slaughter and nutrition all at the same time, they stumble over themselves and make terrible points.

They then refuse to engage and start calling you names.

−3

xKitoo t1_j5yb3ba wrote

I believe I'm somewhat similar. Do you have any tips on how to have it under controll? Because more often than not I do it unconsciously and catch myself after, that I was rather obnoxious for very trivial things.

1

[deleted] t1_j5yb52c wrote

Arguments don’t just go away because you don’t want to hear them. Pretending they’re not there because you can’t hear them means that you just don’t want to hear them, not that you’re “above” the argument. If you’re blocking someone else for your mental health or safety or whatever then sure that makes sense, but arguments continue to exist even when you thumb your nose at them.

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codechimpin t1_j5yc6nk wrote

I disagree. If you are right, you should fight till the end!

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klin0503 t1_j5ycz0y wrote

For me, it's become like second nature. I always keep it in mind and remind myself to think about it, then eventually it became natural for me. That being said, I do find myself still doing it from time to time, but it's not to the degree where it's problematic.

I think in general, it's really just thinking about what you're going to say before saying it.

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Gus_Fu t1_j5yfgya wrote

I always think that asking them "what would it take to change your mind?" Gives you an idea of whether or not it's worth engaging. If they say "nothing" then you're better off going home and having a nice cup of tea and a sit down

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OrginalPeach t1_j5yfhhu wrote

Except I have the right to choose if I want to keep participating in an argument. I’m allowed to walk away, blocking is just the internets version of walking away from an argument. You can not force someone to participate in an argument with you. Telling someone they aren’t allowed to block you because you are in argument is ridiculous. You have no such control over anyone.

Edit: just saying this to further prove my point. You don’t need a reason to block anybody.

2

[deleted] t1_j5yfs7s wrote

I never said that. Like I said, you can leave an argument for mental health or safety reasons, or really any reason you want. The issue that I’m saying is that that doesn’t mean the argument is over.

0

hesalivejim t1_j5ygepf wrote

Can't remember who said it but reminds me of the quote "never argue with stupid people; they pull you down to their level and beat you with experience"

1

cheetonian t1_j5ygz8n wrote

There is a fine line here. Let everyone be wrong and suddenly Trump is president.

0

PsychoEngineer t1_j5yhhq8 wrote

“ I always entertain the notion that I'm wrong, or that I'll have to revise my opinion. Most of the time that feels good; sometimes it really hurts and is embarrassing." - AB; words I try and live by

3

[deleted] t1_j5yhjth wrote

It’s okay, I agree about losing now though. Looking back I probably said that as an ego thing because just because it’s over doesn’t mean you lost it, just that it’s not worth it to continue, which is totally fair

1

xl129 t1_j5yiira wrote

Some people need to experience failure to learn the lesson themselves. Usually because they are quite smart and are got most things right (but not smart enough to appreciate good advice when given)

I dealt with coworkers like this in the past and was one myself a long time ago. It’s way easier to let people fail then help them standing back up than prevent them from failing tbh.

1

FrostMonky t1_j5yn2b5 wrote

Also, some people argue for the sake of arguing.
Winning for them is to simply rile you up, so they may say and do a lot of dumb shit, just to keep you hanging on.

I hate vampires.

1

Materva t1_j5yqtpl wrote

It takes 7 people to convince 1 person that something is good, but it only takes one person to convince 7 people that something is bad.

1

envy_adams98 t1_j5ys4gl wrote

Also, I would say to stop yourself from getting angry or frustrated, don't even go into conversations like that with the intent to change someone's opinion. They go a lot smoother when you're just trying to understand their opinion and they're trying understand yours.

1

Gordon_Explosion t1_j5yvs75 wrote

This is a great lesson. It's important to know when winning the battle just doesn't matter. Let people be wrong about insignificant things, who cares.

1

KeyConsideration7569 t1_j5yzgce wrote

My rule of thumb share ur opinion and if the other person insists otherwise just stop

1

drumscrubby t1_j5yzsn2 wrote

It’s a contest for the spiritually short-sighted to constantly prove how right they are. I’m pleased every time I offer nothing in return.

1

postitsam t1_j5z2uk4 wrote

You need to go tell this to all of twitter. Haha. It's amazing the arguments on there between such entrenched sides.

1

ablissfulcup t1_j5z3rz6 wrote

I'll add, it's more than some people. It's MOST people. It's far more peaceful to just let them be.

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queenofdan t1_j5z45lg wrote

This is freaky. I was literally JUST thinking about this based on a post I just read about Peace, and I picture myself with enormous patience for my mother, having a conversation that we need to have and accepting that she’ll never see my side and it’s ok that she’s wrong (she really is, she just thinks I’m not telling the truth about something). So, peace is accepting things as they are, not what we think they should be and part of that is letting my mother be wrong. What an amazing message from the universe. Thank you.

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incasesheisonheretoo t1_j5z5g7i wrote

Or just don’t argue with anyone. Most people can’t be convinced to change their opinions. Speak your mind when appropriate, but unless someone is showing that they’re interested in a rational debate of facts and ideas, walk away when they start arguing without providing reliably sourced facts. I’ve learned that most people either make up facts (or get them from memes on social media) or use anecdotal evidence to back up their nonsense.

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kewissman t1_j5z7vjm wrote

They have every right to be wrong

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tabacdk t1_j5z8rzi wrote

That point is when they have stopped listening with intent to understand. My opinion is not validated by other people, and my time is not free. If somebody asks me about how I see a particular matter, I am happy to explain; if they don't want to hear it, well then they can certainly be free.

1

hyperforms9988 t1_j5zb5kj wrote

Me at work. I don't fight people at work unless I'm responsible for them because their screwup reflects on me. If someone on the same footing or higher than me wants to argue when they're wrong... hey, go ahead and walk face first into that wall that you don't think is there.

1

Crypto_Town t1_j5zde33 wrote

I often have to remind myself I'm not their parent, nor paid to be their teacher. Why do I care to correct them?

1

SatanLifeProTips t1_j5zf6hv wrote

'It's hard to win an argument with a smart person. It's damn near impossible to win an argument with a stupid person.'

-Bill Murray

1

Icy_Donut_5319 t1_j5zhaii wrote

I've noticed that sometimes you can just nod to their opinions and waste so much less time. I do this with my grandparents : I'm a not going to change their mind so I just nod and get over with it. I don't want to spend the time I have with them arguing.

1

camm44 t1_j5zi26r wrote

I often find myself in situations where someone is telling me something blatantly wrong and I just don't have the energy or desire to correct them.

Someone was telling me about the Billions of people in the US. Compared to the millions in Asia. And yes, they meant what they said because they repeated the billion part a few times.

I usually just kinda zone it out and pretend to be paying attention.

1

GStarG t1_j5zic8i wrote

Also related to convincing other people of your opinions: not all your friends have to like what you like and hate what you hate. If they really like something and you really hate it, just let them enjoy it.

Only time you have to express that you don't like the thing is if they're trying to talk about it to you you can just politely say "dude sorry I'm really not interested in <insert name of thing>"

1

WateryTart_ndSword t1_j5zilb2 wrote

Step 1: Start apologizing when you realize it after: “Sorry, I just realized I was being an ass about [x].”

This practice alone will help you be more mindful, & not treat conversation like a competition.

Step 2: Be slower to speak in general. Don’t wait for the first moment to jump in—wait for the moment when you know they’ve made their point.

When you’re purposefully listening for the main point, you’re less likely to let yourself be distracted by irrelevant trivia or semantics.

Bonus Step: Try to ask more questions! Even just confirming back to them what they said before you respond will help you slow down, & think before you speak.

3

Liesmyteachertoldme t1_j5zjnkm wrote

One of Dale Carnegies many great tips from “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is to not argue at all, especially petty things. In fact one of the best ways is to listen, most people only half listen and it’s rare to find someone who does it fully and with no judgement.

1

xPlus2Minus1 t1_j5zlqy5 wrote

Who says I'm belligerently arguing? I get angry when people are presented with evidence and refuse to accept it, because that's willing ignorance.

Before climate change, what threat has threatened the entire planet? One could make the argument that there have been diseases, but there's nothing on the scale of climate change in our history, affecting as many people as it is. It's a planetary problem.

We have definitely NOT averted the worst of it, what are you talking about??

And exactly! What we need is a planetary shift in the way we extract and utilize resources. The system we have has no failsafe or incentive to stop the problems we are facing, and in fact is the cause of said problems. We can hope that innovation will happen, but that's in no way any kind of stable method or excuse to continue on the path we are on.

Normal people living average lives are exactly the people who need to see what's going on and fight for change. The collective is all we have.

1

IxI_DUCK_IxI t1_j5zohn3 wrote

This. Conspiracy theorists, especially, don't debate. Their arguments are full of fallacies and they keep moving the goal posts. It's impossible to debate them cause they'll keep changing the topic with redirection.

We need to stop allowing them to do this. Call them out on this, point out the fallacy directly and emphasis that they aren't good at arguing/debating, that they're good at misdirection/moving the goal posts.

Their entire tactic is to keep the opposing side back-peddling to cover new information based on fallacies that the conspiracy theorist randomly throws out there.

0

TheLastF t1_j5zq22l wrote

The most opportune thing you can be in an argument is wrong. You have the most to gain by entertaining a new way of thinking.

1

Goonders t1_j5zv9yu wrote

Yeah this is my mom. People who so firmly believe that their opinions and beliefs are the only right answers are impossible to talk and reason with. Even if you bring up an undisputable fact, they'll just ignore you the moment they think they've lost and pretend you and everything you've said never existed in order to preserve their pride. Speaking from experience, you're better off walking away from them and spending your time and energy on something that will actually have a positive influence on your life.

1

xPlus2Minus1 t1_j5zxxe8 wrote

None of those are on the scale of PLANETARY FAILURE.

Nuclear weapons are human operated instantaneously, and disease you can quarantine, there are methods to stop transmission that can be done on a personal level.

Again, climate change is something that will affect the entire planet. We don't have anything else. There's no magic fix that tech can offer us. There's no other planet to escape to. We have this, or nothing.

1

sortaangrypeanut t1_j5zydzc wrote

I don't agree with this. Some topics are really emotional. I know people like to act as if showing emotion during an argument means you've lost, but it's only natural if you're arguing over a topic that is personal or emotional to somebody.

7

X0AN t1_j60eu1r wrote

100%.

The whole Covid pandemic and the just plain morons that are antivaxxers.

Like how much more proof do you need.

The answer is there isn't ANY amount of proof that they need. They will never believe facts and science.

So at most just laugh at them and walk away.

3

PajezUvABook t1_j60r9l4 wrote

Quite honestly, I think that’s most people for most things. When was the last time you had a disagreement with someone, and they just stopped and said “Yeah, you’re right”?

1

Floridaapologist1 t1_j61nzul wrote

My husband loves it when I say “I could agree with you but then we would both be wrong”.

1

SnoopThaGreat89 t1_j61tpiy wrote

I hit a certain point, smile, and just say “okay”. Then i change the subject, stop talking or walk away all together.

1

RavensCoffee t1_j62awfh wrote

My go to saying is “agree to disagree, thank you for sharing your view points with me” and usually, I give my best salesman smile.

I like this LPT, however; I would take it further and say most arguments shouldn’t even be an argument.

1

hiko7819 t1_j65imp4 wrote

When they dismiss objective facts, that’s when to walk away.

1

SkyNightZ t1_j6830cg wrote

Your wording gives everything away.

Carnists is not an identity that meat eaters use. We are not activists.

Plenty of people that eat meat haven't thought through all the implications.

Vegan activists pretend they have. That is why it's annoying. A vegan will be the one to challenge the status quo but it's nirmat with forms of deceit.

X

1